Last Minute Halloweenie
Damn End-of-October! How you be sneakin' up on me like that?!
For a girl who wears costumes every other day in her apartment for fun, it's kinda scary I'm pulling a big ol' blank this year. I need something fast! What should I do?
1. Harpo Marx: (Mr. IQ is already going as Groucho) Need a Wig, need a horn, need a fish, flask, flush, and flash. Probably need more time.
2. Zombie Minnie Mouse: Have the dress, need some ears, a bow, a disease to infect me into wanting to eat other animated creatures brains, some red heels, and a cheery dispoition. Oh yeah, and I have to fall in love with a topless gay man.
3. Twyla Tharp: Walk around like any other old quiet old lady until I see someone or something change directions at which point I will yell "TIGHTER!" in response to their inadequite turn. This costume might be most effective standing on a street corner near 5th ave.
4. Prositute: Speaking of standing on a street corner...if I can't get home to put on something sluttier than this turtle neck sweater (don't mock me, it's been "laundry day" for almost a month now, also don't mock me for purposely just using the word "mock"), but forget the clothes, all I'd need to do for this costume is have sex with someone for money! So easy!
5. Maguiver: A leather bomber jacket would help, but I can just staple a bunch of office supplies to me and claim to be a bomb or the cure for cancer.
6. Ziggy: Whenever someone asks me a question, give them a random percentage as an answer. Occasionally yell "Stop hitting me Dean Stockwell!"
7. The Movie SPACE JAM: Put on all green clothing, staple a cutout picture of Michael Jordonsomewhere on it. Even better would be if I could make a green velcro shirt and make it so people could reinact the movie all colorform style. "I'm Michael Jordan and I'm gonna save the universe. In shorts!"
8. Senator James Seward: Give the first pretzel vender I see a medal. (I found this picture about 4 times funnier than it actually is)
9. Revive my widely successful and instantly understood costume from when I started this journal: "Rocco Ravioli: Strong man of 1880 / Time Traveler / Shoe Salesman / Who Sells Bowling Shoes"
10. Give up on the costume and go all out on Thanksgiving instead. I think I'd make a lovely buttered butterball.