Tighty Greenies
King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear and I were driving Mama Bear, our black van, on Butler Ave in Flagstaff because we were heading for the Hills. We were at our wits' end with how crappy the world was going. But as high above sea level as we were, we still couldn't find a moment's peace.
Some maroon van drove next to us, and a big brown bear threw an olive green article of clothing at our windshield and hit it with a thud. That van then flew into outer space. The article of clothing hit the driver's side with a brown splatter.
We screamed bloody murder.
"BaeBAE! Wipe it off! Use the sprayers!" I shouted.
"Uh uhhhhh woooooo!!!" King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear shouted when he turned the windshield wipers on. But the tighty greenies only made a bigger brown mess on the windshield. And the smell was indescribably bad, worse than Zaxby's chicken.
We gagged and laughed. I was ready to hurl, so I opened up my window and threw up on another windshield. That poor black sudan flew off the side of Mount Son of a Bitch.
King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear and I pulled over to the edge of the mountain and sprayed the windshield with wiper fluid. The poop from the tighty greenies only multiplied and spread onto the windshield. The windshield was brown.
I temporarily left Mama Bear and pulled down my pants before I took a dump off the side of the mountain.
Then a man straight from India screamed loudly in the distance before the sky opened up and brought down a wall of water. The force from the wall of water cleaned off our windshield and sent the tighty greenies down the mountain and into the Indian man's mouth to gag him. Then it stopped raining. And then my shower was complete. And then King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear looked at me and said, "We need to get to higher ground."
Some maroon van drove next to us, and a big brown bear threw an olive green article of clothing at our windshield and hit it with a thud. That van then flew into outer space. The article of clothing hit the driver's side with a brown splatter.
We screamed bloody murder.
"BaeBAE! Wipe it off! Use the sprayers!" I shouted.
"Uh uhhhhh woooooo!!!" King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear shouted when he turned the windshield wipers on. But the tighty greenies only made a bigger brown mess on the windshield. And the smell was indescribably bad, worse than Zaxby's chicken.
We gagged and laughed. I was ready to hurl, so I opened up my window and threw up on another windshield. That poor black sudan flew off the side of Mount Son of a Bitch.
King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear and I pulled over to the edge of the mountain and sprayed the windshield with wiper fluid. The poop from the tighty greenies only multiplied and spread onto the windshield. The windshield was brown.
I temporarily left Mama Bear and pulled down my pants before I took a dump off the side of the mountain.
Then a man straight from India screamed loudly in the distance before the sky opened up and brought down a wall of water. The force from the wall of water cleaned off our windshield and sent the tighty greenies down the mountain and into the Indian man's mouth to gag him. Then it stopped raining. And then my shower was complete. And then King Chocolate-covered Gummy Bear looked at me and said, "We need to get to higher ground."