(no subject)
For the majority of today (Monday) I walked around the lawn and garden dept of Home Depot and Lowe's with Mom. I did so for the majority of the day because Mom walks at a snail's pace. Less than a step per second when she's really truckin' it. Drives me crazy, but I don't press her to go faster, because she's being careful for a reason.She doesn't want to end up like HER mother, which is a story I'd rather not get into. I'll just say I don't want her to end up that way either. Bad. Bad bad bad.
Regardless, I walked around Lowe's and Home Depot's lawn and garden depts while mom looked at trees and flowers. Yes. Not exaggerating a bit. Had a lot of time to think. I mostly thought about why my back was hurting so bad. By the second hour my back had started hurting horrendously. You think of having a backache, you can localize it as a lower backache, upper, whatever. It hurt everywhere, with concentration on lower and upper. And since I had so much time to think, I thought about why my back hurt so bad, since it was the most pressing item on my mind.
I decided that my gut is the cause of the back pain. I thought about how my gut pulls on my back. What the actual weight of my belly does to my spine. And I realized it pulls it down and forward in uncomfortable ways. And that's why, when I sit in this computer chair, and lift up on the armrests and lift my body out of the chair with my arms and take all weight off of my spine, my spine cracks ferociously. Such great relief when I do that. Decompression. I don't think my chair's armrests -- or my arms -- are strong enough to sustain lifting me for long, though, so I only do it for about five seconds a night. Five glorious seconds. Regardless, that realization that my belly is doing more damage than I was aware of, makes me less than happy. It adds to the list of health problems my weight's given me.
I weigh 260 lbs. I've weighed 260 lbs for YEARS. Oh, I've gained and lost. Been more and less than 260. But I maintain a weight of +/- 260. Down 40 lbs from my max. Must be stated, should never be forgotten, I have weighed more. But I've never been in worse health. When I was at my lightest, as an adult (+/- 200) I was happiest I've ever been. Don't think that's a coincidence. I have to do something, because my weight has madem e so unhealthy I can't function. Can't function, can't be happy. And that's no good. needless to say.
Okay.
Also, while wandering the Lawn and Garden depts, I decided to install a fountain in my back yard, and to weed and fertilize my back yard. Dunno how I'm gonna do it with a bad back and no money. But. I want to. And later, a privacy fence around the perimeter of the yard, but that's for another year. Those things are expensive.
Regardless, I walked around Lowe's and Home Depot's lawn and garden depts while mom looked at trees and flowers. Yes. Not exaggerating a bit. Had a lot of time to think. I mostly thought about why my back was hurting so bad. By the second hour my back had started hurting horrendously. You think of having a backache, you can localize it as a lower backache, upper, whatever. It hurt everywhere, with concentration on lower and upper. And since I had so much time to think, I thought about why my back hurt so bad, since it was the most pressing item on my mind.
I decided that my gut is the cause of the back pain. I thought about how my gut pulls on my back. What the actual weight of my belly does to my spine. And I realized it pulls it down and forward in uncomfortable ways. And that's why, when I sit in this computer chair, and lift up on the armrests and lift my body out of the chair with my arms and take all weight off of my spine, my spine cracks ferociously. Such great relief when I do that. Decompression. I don't think my chair's armrests -- or my arms -- are strong enough to sustain lifting me for long, though, so I only do it for about five seconds a night. Five glorious seconds. Regardless, that realization that my belly is doing more damage than I was aware of, makes me less than happy. It adds to the list of health problems my weight's given me.
I weigh 260 lbs. I've weighed 260 lbs for YEARS. Oh, I've gained and lost. Been more and less than 260. But I maintain a weight of +/- 260. Down 40 lbs from my max. Must be stated, should never be forgotten, I have weighed more. But I've never been in worse health. When I was at my lightest, as an adult (+/- 200) I was happiest I've ever been. Don't think that's a coincidence. I have to do something, because my weight has madem e so unhealthy I can't function. Can't function, can't be happy. And that's no good. needless to say.
Okay.
Also, while wandering the Lawn and Garden depts, I decided to install a fountain in my back yard, and to weed and fertilize my back yard. Dunno how I'm gonna do it with a bad back and no money. But. I want to. And later, a privacy fence around the perimeter of the yard, but that's for another year. Those things are expensive.