Fic: Dirty Little Secret
This is my first fall_for_sx offering, and Mys is torn between being terrified and thrilled! So, without further ado...
Author: Cobalt Mystic
Title: Dirty Little Secret
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG13 cause it’s slash and contains suggestive language
Feedback: Suit yourself, just no permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Warnings/Squicks: MAY CAUSE TOOTH DECAY!
Summary: Schmangst, pure and simple. Lots of sugary sweetness- diabetics be warned!
AN: Yes, Spike’s mockney, is heavier at the beginning, as well as being interspersed with more cultured turns of phrases- this was intentional.
*********
He promised me! Thrice-damned prick. Why’d I believe ‘im in the first place?!?! Bloody humans, nothin’ but trouble and heartache. Shoulda learnt that when I was one of them. But no, not me, not William the Bloody Stupid Git, love’s fucking bitch as always.
Hells, we talked about this. When this thing between us first started; we agreed. Thought he bloody-well understood. ‘m not gonna be a dirty little secret- not for ‘im, not for anyone. And ‘ere I thought the problem would be his friends. Never occurred to me it’d be the rest of the world.
“Jus’ needed ‘im,” he whisper-sobbed into his chest, platinum blonde locks uncharacteristically free of gel flopping into his face.
***That Morning***
“Bloody hell, luv, thought we were s’posed to be on holiday. What’s the Watcher bothering us for?”
“Come on, Spike, we’re already here. We just pick her up, toss her on a plane, and it’s back to our much deserved vacation- Council and Slayer free for the remainder.” Xander batted his long lashes at his lover and peppered his exposed chest with kiss-nips.
“Mmmm, nice,” the vampire murmured, enjoying the feel of the warm body lying over him. One hand threaded through Xander’s unruly hair. The other lovingly stroked the young mortal’s back and shoulders.
A low, soft rumble radiated from deep in Spike’s chest, tickling Xander’s lips and causing his whole body to tingle.
Xander loved it when Spike purred.
They’d been together just under a year and the baddie of the week had succeeded in taking a chunk out of Xander. Needless to say, Spike freaked- turning into a snarling, blonde and leather cuisinart making quick work of evil monster #698.
That night, even with his vampire protectively wrapped around him, Xander dreamt. He dreamt of things to make Lovecraft cringe and he dreamt of that last day in Sunnydale. The day everything changed.
He burrowed into the luke warm body embracing him and inhaled the scent of leather and spice and Spike. Slowly his heart rate returned to normal and that’s when he noticed it- Spike was purring. It was a safe, sensual sound that seemed to invade and encompass him.
He turned his head slightly, opening his eyes to see the azure crystal of his vampire watching over him. “Thank you,” he whispered as he nuzzled into Spike’s neck.
The vamp didn’t speak, merely kissed his love and held him closer.
After that the purrs came more often, not an everyday occurrence, but often enough.
Spike’s silvery voice trickled to Xander’s conscious, pulling him away from warm memories and back to the here and now, “What time’s her flight, pet?”
“Hmm, flight? Oh, umm, 10:40.”
“Bit o’ time, then.”
“Yeah,” Xander’s brain was slowly catching up with his body, which had already figured out what his lover had in mind, “guess we do.” He propped his head on his hands and looked innocently at the vamp, “Why? D’ya wanna grab a bite to eat?”
Xander couldn’t help but smirk at the purely salacious leer Spike gave him.
---
Surprisingly, everything went relatively smoothly- your average teary goodbye, average annoying lines at check-in and security, and general ‘thank you’s and ‘good luck’s and a ‘Willow will meet you when you land’. The normalness should have tipped Spike off- something was bound to go wrong.
It happened as they were leaving the overcrowded airport. Spike grabbed Xander in a powerful seductive embrace. The mortal limply complied refusing to actively participate. Pulling away, Spike asked, “What’s the matter, pet?”
“Nothing, Spike,” Xander practically snapped. “Just not in the mood for PDAs.”
Spike’s brow raised, his scarred left one shooting slightly higher. It wasn’t like his boy to avoid PDAs. It certainly hadn’t been in the past. Well, there was that incident a few months ago, but that was a fluke brought on by stress- he was sure of it. But this…
He scented the young man next to him. Love. Spice. Arousal. Agitation. Anger. *What the hell?* Embarrassment. *Fuck no!* Spike couldn’t conceal his growl as his eyes flashed to their demon amber.
“Spike, calm down…”
“Why?” He growled. Without waiting for a response, “Why are you ashamed?” His voice was a low guttural hiss.
“We’re in the middle of the damn airport Spike- I don’t want to draw attention to us, that’s all.”
Xander’s words, so calmly spoken, were like a dagger to Spike’s heart. He could feel the old armour, built of a century and more of being treated as unworthy by those he loved, close around the long dead muscle- too late to protect, it held the blade of betrayal firm. He stared, utterly gobsmacked, at his lover.
The next few hours passed in a haze for the vampire. He was physically there, chain smoking, grumbling where expected, and offering blanket noises of agreement when appropriate, but his mind was elsewhere. It was replaying those words over and over like a sick scratched record.
Spike took off not long after they returned to the cottage they had rented for their holiday, muttering about fresh air and smokes.
It was now less than an hour before dawn and Spike still wasn’t sure where he would spend the day. And, worse, part of him didn’t care.
---
Xander started fidgeting after the first hour and pacing half an hour later. So far, he’d gone through the panic, the fear, the anger- technically he was still in the anger, but it was rapidly heading for that lovely self-recrimination stage.
He was replaying their evening, trying to understand what happened, or rather, why Spike had reacted so badly to whatever happened. When it finally hit him, it was like the proverbial train wreck. All those conversations they had when they first started seeing each other about how neither wanted to be hidden away like some mistake, or regulated to a second class citizen when they were together, or treated like a replacement for someone else. But that was exactly what he’d done- well the first two at any rate.
A heavy guilt ridden sigh puffed out of Xander. All he’d wanted was to get out of there, get home, and get naked and groiny with his vamp. Instead, he was sitting alone worrying about the Bleached One and it was his own damn fault!
Hours came and went. Xander’s emotions ran higher with every passing minute. Finally, as it breached noon, he caved and called the one person who might help.
A groggy, “’ello,” was garbled into the phone when it was answered.
“Willow, sssorry to wake yyyou.”
“Xander!” Hearing the sadness and fear in her friend’s voice had the red-headed witch bright-eyed and bushy-tailed- and not in the good way. “What’s wrong? Where’s Spike? Do you need me there? Or Buffy?”
A small laugh-sob escaped his lips, it was comforting to know that some things never change. Taking a deep breath, “I fucked up Wills…”
The young witch listened to her friend’s tale, feeling for both men. When Xander finished she softly spoke, “I can do a locator spell, if you want.” She already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from him.
“Gods, Will, I just need to know he’s not dust, please.”
---
Spike found the small cave just before dawn, it was dry and protected and, judging by the water line, just above the tide mark. It was perfect, the noise of the pounding waves and the sea spray were a beautiful deterrent to random beach-combers. He should be able to pass the day here with relative ease.
Pulling his duster closer around him, he watched the sun play over the rolling crashing waves creating millions of tiny sparkling gems that shimmered to life for a bare instant before the sea reclaimed them. *Just like humans.* It was really quite breath-taking; it reminded him of Xander- beautiful and short-lived. *Xander.* He missed the bloody git. As soon as the sun dipped low enough, he was going back to his human, talk this out, and then make sweet passionate love that would speak more eloquently than their meagre voices ever could.
Crouching behind a small outcrop in the depths of the cave, Spike forced himself to rest. His internal clock would wake him as dusk approached and then he’d head home.
---
It was after three by the time Xander found the stretch of beach from Willow’s co-ordinates, and it took another half-hour to reach the mouth of the cave. Xander shone his flashlight around the cavern until he caught sight of the tip of a well-worn black boot. “Spike,” he murmured and rushed to his lover’s side.
Bloodshot eyes of azure heaven stared at him as he threw his arms around the shocked vampire.
“I’m sorry. I love you. Please, baby. So sorry. Not you. Never ashamed of you. Of me. Of needing to be protected. Of needing, but never you. Never you. I love you. I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry…”
Xander continued to chant the odd litany even as powerful arms enveloped him with love and safety.
“Love you, too, ya git.” The vampire tenderly kissed his mortal’s head, “’ll be okay,” and as he said the words he knew they were true- as long as they were together they would be okay.
So there they stayed, on the cold hard rock with the chill damp sea air blowing in, wrapped in each others arms, knowing there was no place they’d rather be.
Author: Cobalt Mystic
Title: Dirty Little Secret
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG13 cause it’s slash and contains suggestive language
Feedback: Suit yourself, just no permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Warnings/Squicks: MAY CAUSE TOOTH DECAY!
Summary: Schmangst, pure and simple. Lots of sugary sweetness- diabetics be warned!
AN: Yes, Spike’s mockney, is heavier at the beginning, as well as being interspersed with more cultured turns of phrases- this was intentional.
*********
He promised me! Thrice-damned prick. Why’d I believe ‘im in the first place?!?! Bloody humans, nothin’ but trouble and heartache. Shoulda learnt that when I was one of them. But no, not me, not William the Bloody Stupid Git, love’s fucking bitch as always.
Hells, we talked about this. When this thing between us first started; we agreed. Thought he bloody-well understood. ‘m not gonna be a dirty little secret- not for ‘im, not for anyone. And ‘ere I thought the problem would be his friends. Never occurred to me it’d be the rest of the world.
“Jus’ needed ‘im,” he whisper-sobbed into his chest, platinum blonde locks uncharacteristically free of gel flopping into his face.
***That Morning***
“Bloody hell, luv, thought we were s’posed to be on holiday. What’s the Watcher bothering us for?”
“Come on, Spike, we’re already here. We just pick her up, toss her on a plane, and it’s back to our much deserved vacation- Council and Slayer free for the remainder.” Xander batted his long lashes at his lover and peppered his exposed chest with kiss-nips.
“Mmmm, nice,” the vampire murmured, enjoying the feel of the warm body lying over him. One hand threaded through Xander’s unruly hair. The other lovingly stroked the young mortal’s back and shoulders.
A low, soft rumble radiated from deep in Spike’s chest, tickling Xander’s lips and causing his whole body to tingle.
Xander loved it when Spike purred.
They’d been together just under a year and the baddie of the week had succeeded in taking a chunk out of Xander. Needless to say, Spike freaked- turning into a snarling, blonde and leather cuisinart making quick work of evil monster #698.
That night, even with his vampire protectively wrapped around him, Xander dreamt. He dreamt of things to make Lovecraft cringe and he dreamt of that last day in Sunnydale. The day everything changed.
He burrowed into the luke warm body embracing him and inhaled the scent of leather and spice and Spike. Slowly his heart rate returned to normal and that’s when he noticed it- Spike was purring. It was a safe, sensual sound that seemed to invade and encompass him.
He turned his head slightly, opening his eyes to see the azure crystal of his vampire watching over him. “Thank you,” he whispered as he nuzzled into Spike’s neck.
The vamp didn’t speak, merely kissed his love and held him closer.
After that the purrs came more often, not an everyday occurrence, but often enough.
Spike’s silvery voice trickled to Xander’s conscious, pulling him away from warm memories and back to the here and now, “What time’s her flight, pet?”
“Hmm, flight? Oh, umm, 10:40.”
“Bit o’ time, then.”
“Yeah,” Xander’s brain was slowly catching up with his body, which had already figured out what his lover had in mind, “guess we do.” He propped his head on his hands and looked innocently at the vamp, “Why? D’ya wanna grab a bite to eat?”
Xander couldn’t help but smirk at the purely salacious leer Spike gave him.
---
Surprisingly, everything went relatively smoothly- your average teary goodbye, average annoying lines at check-in and security, and general ‘thank you’s and ‘good luck’s and a ‘Willow will meet you when you land’. The normalness should have tipped Spike off- something was bound to go wrong.
It happened as they were leaving the overcrowded airport. Spike grabbed Xander in a powerful seductive embrace. The mortal limply complied refusing to actively participate. Pulling away, Spike asked, “What’s the matter, pet?”
“Nothing, Spike,” Xander practically snapped. “Just not in the mood for PDAs.”
Spike’s brow raised, his scarred left one shooting slightly higher. It wasn’t like his boy to avoid PDAs. It certainly hadn’t been in the past. Well, there was that incident a few months ago, but that was a fluke brought on by stress- he was sure of it. But this…
He scented the young man next to him. Love. Spice. Arousal. Agitation. Anger. *What the hell?* Embarrassment. *Fuck no!* Spike couldn’t conceal his growl as his eyes flashed to their demon amber.
“Spike, calm down…”
“Why?” He growled. Without waiting for a response, “Why are you ashamed?” His voice was a low guttural hiss.
“We’re in the middle of the damn airport Spike- I don’t want to draw attention to us, that’s all.”
Xander’s words, so calmly spoken, were like a dagger to Spike’s heart. He could feel the old armour, built of a century and more of being treated as unworthy by those he loved, close around the long dead muscle- too late to protect, it held the blade of betrayal firm. He stared, utterly gobsmacked, at his lover.
The next few hours passed in a haze for the vampire. He was physically there, chain smoking, grumbling where expected, and offering blanket noises of agreement when appropriate, but his mind was elsewhere. It was replaying those words over and over like a sick scratched record.
Spike took off not long after they returned to the cottage they had rented for their holiday, muttering about fresh air and smokes.
It was now less than an hour before dawn and Spike still wasn’t sure where he would spend the day. And, worse, part of him didn’t care.
---
Xander started fidgeting after the first hour and pacing half an hour later. So far, he’d gone through the panic, the fear, the anger- technically he was still in the anger, but it was rapidly heading for that lovely self-recrimination stage.
He was replaying their evening, trying to understand what happened, or rather, why Spike had reacted so badly to whatever happened. When it finally hit him, it was like the proverbial train wreck. All those conversations they had when they first started seeing each other about how neither wanted to be hidden away like some mistake, or regulated to a second class citizen when they were together, or treated like a replacement for someone else. But that was exactly what he’d done- well the first two at any rate.
A heavy guilt ridden sigh puffed out of Xander. All he’d wanted was to get out of there, get home, and get naked and groiny with his vamp. Instead, he was sitting alone worrying about the Bleached One and it was his own damn fault!
Hours came and went. Xander’s emotions ran higher with every passing minute. Finally, as it breached noon, he caved and called the one person who might help.
A groggy, “’ello,” was garbled into the phone when it was answered.
“Willow, sssorry to wake yyyou.”
“Xander!” Hearing the sadness and fear in her friend’s voice had the red-headed witch bright-eyed and bushy-tailed- and not in the good way. “What’s wrong? Where’s Spike? Do you need me there? Or Buffy?”
A small laugh-sob escaped his lips, it was comforting to know that some things never change. Taking a deep breath, “I fucked up Wills…”
The young witch listened to her friend’s tale, feeling for both men. When Xander finished she softly spoke, “I can do a locator spell, if you want.” She already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from him.
“Gods, Will, I just need to know he’s not dust, please.”
---
Spike found the small cave just before dawn, it was dry and protected and, judging by the water line, just above the tide mark. It was perfect, the noise of the pounding waves and the sea spray were a beautiful deterrent to random beach-combers. He should be able to pass the day here with relative ease.
Pulling his duster closer around him, he watched the sun play over the rolling crashing waves creating millions of tiny sparkling gems that shimmered to life for a bare instant before the sea reclaimed them. *Just like humans.* It was really quite breath-taking; it reminded him of Xander- beautiful and short-lived. *Xander.* He missed the bloody git. As soon as the sun dipped low enough, he was going back to his human, talk this out, and then make sweet passionate love that would speak more eloquently than their meagre voices ever could.
Crouching behind a small outcrop in the depths of the cave, Spike forced himself to rest. His internal clock would wake him as dusk approached and then he’d head home.
---
It was after three by the time Xander found the stretch of beach from Willow’s co-ordinates, and it took another half-hour to reach the mouth of the cave. Xander shone his flashlight around the cavern until he caught sight of the tip of a well-worn black boot. “Spike,” he murmured and rushed to his lover’s side.
Bloodshot eyes of azure heaven stared at him as he threw his arms around the shocked vampire.
“I’m sorry. I love you. Please, baby. So sorry. Not you. Never ashamed of you. Of me. Of needing to be protected. Of needing, but never you. Never you. I love you. I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry…”
Xander continued to chant the odd litany even as powerful arms enveloped him with love and safety.
“Love you, too, ya git.” The vampire tenderly kissed his mortal’s head, “’ll be okay,” and as he said the words he knew they were true- as long as they were together they would be okay.
So there they stayed, on the cold hard rock with the chill damp sea air blowing in, wrapped in each others arms, knowing there was no place they’d rather be.