Fic: To Be Wanted
Yeah, I know, I'm lame only two entries for my day at fall_for_sx, but, hey, I did it and I didn't chicken out, lol.
Author: Cobalt Mystic
Title: To Be Wanted
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG cause it’s pre-slash
Feedback: Suit yourself, just no permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Warnings/Squicks: pre-slash
Summary: This started life as a ”Thing”- one of those writings Mys doesn’t know exactly what it is, it’s not quite fic and not quite poetry… it’s just a thing- but then it grew and spawned young. It’s still a ”Thing”, but it’s a ”Thing” with delusions of grandeur.
*********
Xander-
To be needed is nice, but I know I’m needed. Maybe not all the time, like the others, but I’m needed. I have my place- my friends- my family.
But to be wanted, now that would be something special.
I want. I know I do. I want him. Not that he’d ever know; not that he would care if he did.
But still, I want. Want to touch him. Want to be near him. Want to see the smile in his eyes, the flare of amber fire. Want to watch the smirk that he thinks defines him spread across his porcelain face. Want to see the good and the bad. Want to be there for the good and the bad. I simply want…
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for him to want me, I try not to- think about it that is- because it only shows me why he never would. My girls tell me I don’t give myself enough credit, that I’m important, that I’m needed, and I tell then truthfully that I know- I know I’m needed.
But to be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that; I may even need it, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I should know. But I want it. To be touched like his very existence depended on it. To feel his hands touching me with pure desire- rough, soft, it doesn’t matter, the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way I want him.
Spike-
To be needed is nice, but I know I’m needed. Whenever they need info on the latest baddie, or jus‘ an extra pair of fists to fight it.
But to be wanted, now that would be something special.
I want. I know I do. I want him. Not that he’d ever know; not that he would care if he did.
But still, I want. Want to touch him. Want to be near him. Want to see the smile in his eyes, the extra sparkle when he laughs. Want to rip apart anything or anyone that hurts him. Want to be the one he comes to when he breaks. Want to be the one to pick up the pieces. I simply want…
I wonder sometimes what it would be like for him to want me, I try not to think about it, ‘cause it only shows me why he never would. ’m evil after all, spend ’nough time reminding ’em of that, and he’s a White Knight- only true White Hat of the bunch, ’cepting the Niblet o’ course, but that’s different.
To be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that; might need it even, don’t know, not sure I should. But I want it. To be touched like his very existence depended on it. To feel his hands touching me with pure desire- all heat and calluses and want- and the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way I want him.
Dawn-
To be needed is nice, and I know I’m needed. They might not know it yet, but I’m needed. My boys need me- almost as much as they need each other.
But to be wanted, that‘s their secret- wanting each other.
They want. I know they do. I can see it in their eyes- not that they’ve noticed.
But still, they want. Want to touch. Want to be close. Want to watch over each other. And I want them to see the love in their eyes. Want to be there when realization dawns. Want to know that the men I love most have found each other. I simply want…
Sometimes I wonder why they can‘t see their want, then I realize- once again- how similar they are and how different. The boys are blind, so are the others since they don‘t see it. Guess that means it‘s up to me- see they need me, I know they do.
Yes, to be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that for them; they need it, I know that, and I’m going to make it happen. I want it. For them to touch like their very existence depended on it; touching each other with pure desire- warm and cool and wanton, the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way he wants him.
Author: Cobalt Mystic
Title: To Be Wanted
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG cause it’s pre-slash
Feedback: Suit yourself, just no permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Warnings/Squicks: pre-slash
Summary: This started life as a ”Thing”- one of those writings Mys doesn’t know exactly what it is, it’s not quite fic and not quite poetry… it’s just a thing- but then it grew and spawned young. It’s still a ”Thing”, but it’s a ”Thing” with delusions of grandeur.
*********
Xander-
To be needed is nice, but I know I’m needed. Maybe not all the time, like the others, but I’m needed. I have my place- my friends- my family.
But to be wanted, now that would be something special.
I want. I know I do. I want him. Not that he’d ever know; not that he would care if he did.
But still, I want. Want to touch him. Want to be near him. Want to see the smile in his eyes, the flare of amber fire. Want to watch the smirk that he thinks defines him spread across his porcelain face. Want to see the good and the bad. Want to be there for the good and the bad. I simply want…
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for him to want me, I try not to- think about it that is- because it only shows me why he never would. My girls tell me I don’t give myself enough credit, that I’m important, that I’m needed, and I tell then truthfully that I know- I know I’m needed.
But to be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that; I may even need it, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I should know. But I want it. To be touched like his very existence depended on it. To feel his hands touching me with pure desire- rough, soft, it doesn’t matter, the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way I want him.
Spike-
To be needed is nice, but I know I’m needed. Whenever they need info on the latest baddie, or jus‘ an extra pair of fists to fight it.
But to be wanted, now that would be something special.
I want. I know I do. I want him. Not that he’d ever know; not that he would care if he did.
But still, I want. Want to touch him. Want to be near him. Want to see the smile in his eyes, the extra sparkle when he laughs. Want to rip apart anything or anyone that hurts him. Want to be the one he comes to when he breaks. Want to be the one to pick up the pieces. I simply want…
I wonder sometimes what it would be like for him to want me, I try not to think about it, ‘cause it only shows me why he never would. ’m evil after all, spend ’nough time reminding ’em of that, and he’s a White Knight- only true White Hat of the bunch, ’cepting the Niblet o’ course, but that’s different.
To be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that; might need it even, don’t know, not sure I should. But I want it. To be touched like his very existence depended on it. To feel his hands touching me with pure desire- all heat and calluses and want- and the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way I want him.
Dawn-
To be needed is nice, and I know I’m needed. They might not know it yet, but I’m needed. My boys need me- almost as much as they need each other.
But to be wanted, that‘s their secret- wanting each other.
They want. I know they do. I can see it in their eyes- not that they’ve noticed.
But still, they want. Want to touch. Want to be close. Want to watch over each other. And I want them to see the love in their eyes. Want to be there when realization dawns. Want to know that the men I love most have found each other. I simply want…
Sometimes I wonder why they can‘t see their want, then I realize- once again- how similar they are and how different. The boys are blind, so are the others since they don‘t see it. Guess that means it‘s up to me- see they need me, I know they do.
Yes, to be wanted, to be longed for. To have someone desperate to touch you, as desperate as you are to touch them. I want that for them; they need it, I know that, and I’m going to make it happen. I want it. For them to touch like their very existence depended on it; touching each other with pure desire- warm and cool and wanton, the want is what matters.
To be wanted the way he wants him.