Anxiety
I am feeling very tense at the moment. I have been feeling tense since I woke up this morning. It must be because it is that time of the month as of this morning as well. I hope so. I am not diggin' this feeling. I am going to the game tonight. I am dreading/excited for it. I am excited to see the game itself. I mean I loooove baseball. But I am dreading being pressured to eat food that is unhealthy. I know my sister will have a huge fit if I don't eat there. But everything there is bad for you! damn...My whole family keeps insisting that hot dogs aren't bad for you. And yes, I agree some hot dogs aren't bad for you. But the ones at the game are because they are like humongous and not fat free. More like full of fat. I am supposed to be fasting right now, but instead I have to eat just because some one else says I have to! I am an adult, I feel like I should be able to make my own decisions. It is soo frustrating. I feel like this is going to ruin everything.
I am also supposed to be working on an English paper, but instead I am watching T.V. and surfing the internet. I hate my English class. I want to drop both of my classes. I hate French class too. I feel so lost. I am tired as fuck all the time because of this shitty as medicine. Because I am always tired I can't pay attention in class. Because I don't pay attention in class I can't do my homework. If I don't do my homework I don't generally tend to learn the subject. Which means I am just sitting in class and wasting my fucking time! I am so sick of this shit.
I hate my life. I wish the last seizure had just done me in. Why do I have to keep going through this shit?! I have only had epilepsy for 7 months now and It makes me feel like shit. It ruined my life. I don't know or understand how people can and have lived with this there entire lives and never cared. Although apparently according to my mom there are people out there like that. I want to just fall asleep and die. Wouldn't that be easy and simple...I don't have to guts to do it any other way. Thats kind of what a seizure would be like...I wish they would just take me.
I am also supposed to be working on an English paper, but instead I am watching T.V. and surfing the internet. I hate my English class. I want to drop both of my classes. I hate French class too. I feel so lost. I am tired as fuck all the time because of this shitty as medicine. Because I am always tired I can't pay attention in class. Because I don't pay attention in class I can't do my homework. If I don't do my homework I don't generally tend to learn the subject. Which means I am just sitting in class and wasting my fucking time! I am so sick of this shit.
I hate my life. I wish the last seizure had just done me in. Why do I have to keep going through this shit?! I have only had epilepsy for 7 months now and It makes me feel like shit. It ruined my life. I don't know or understand how people can and have lived with this there entire lives and never cared. Although apparently according to my mom there are people out there like that. I want to just fall asleep and die. Wouldn't that be easy and simple...I don't have to guts to do it any other way. Thats kind of what a seizure would be like...I wish they would just take me.