May 10, 2004 22:03
AND SHE ASKS FOR MORE....
Today was a ride of my life. I reached brillances passed amazed. The keys to beuaty has finally come into affect, uncertainy is disolving, but innocence is caring...so no matter where i go, i will always get there. Glorious thoughts provoke me, even though i freaked out my friends. Im no longer battling myself, but am becoming more. Connection gives me light, how i ask? Its the form...sometimes it doesnt make sense but the answers are always there, you just have to look for it...i see. My God, i shall become you.
It gets interesting...today, i was many beautiful stages, showing myself exactly what i was. But it became very tricky, my cockiness loses its sight, and i turn lost in beauty. Somehow i seemed to be please with myself for taking that wondering route, because i always know if its true its right. Im a believer now, i ponder and tremble...but i never stop trying. Its crazy, but that in itself is only liberating. Never sure why...but you are...its gazes upon you, and entises you. When things go bad, especially with your friends or family...you become sensual..and move around it without mistakes. Just because they are trapped in problems doesnt mean you have to be. Arent we always? Never. Whats that suppose to mean? That in fact you create! Exactly, why else do you think you! And in fact its the purpose in which your spirit is created.
Sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other, and you miss it, but seriously, all you have to do is listen to yourself and believe. Thats a creation...my point well taken.
What do you do about the others? Love them for what they are...its the only way to get passed. Like today, i suffered from sensuality, because i felt like i was hurting them, but in fact i was loving them. I escaped to another place so i would not in turn hurt them. I saw sacarifice today...before, i always saw it as fake...it would scare me away, now i only admire it in others...they are giving me something, and turning it true. CREATION.
I rised and i fall...the mighty has a funny way of doing that....i was on top of the world, nothing stood in my way...Judgement showed me that i needed others though, and i slipped away to its grasp..and became peaceful. Peace, nothing needs to measure it. Safe in its will, you can enrich others. LOVE LOVE LOVE...i let whispering moans escape, and wonder if anyone can tell. It doesnt matter Chris, its for you. I live in right...why? Because you believe. But what if its all just an illusion...that im wrong...that im just crazy? Get over it...that doesnt matter either...your doing good, your doing better then good...i thought you said you were done fighting yourself. Your right...point well taken. God i am good....still i think im a little crazy, you have to give me that much. Fine. But just remember, that your not. God damn you, your good. LOL...Crazy but good...i can go in cycles, so ill stop. Is that what crazy is? LOL...if people spent as much time being truly honest with themselves...im sure they would get the same results as you. True. Its all there to master. I want to go beyond that. You can preceed. Recognize. Accomplish. Become. Recieve. Develope before its too late. I feel like ive been given another chance with life. You have. Sadly it seems people are falling for less, and you were stuck in it waiting for complete. But it did happen, and why? Because you took a risk for yourself. Is it just a case of matter of time to recieve earned? That in fact we are never truly lost. Im confused, how can all of this measure up? Your trailing...damn it. Its because im curious to how its possible. LOL...wow, im amazed. And thats how it is. Im upset now...i didnt get my answer...and this is what happens. And its pleased no matter what. Thats not fair though...its fine...stop confusing yourself...your in love.