This place sucks...
Ok. First, update from before, when i was talking about me being too violent and maybe having bipolar disorder...I don't think that's it. I want to go find a psychologist or someone to check out my theory and see what to do about it either way, but i really don't think that that's my problem. for one thing, my cycles are FAR too rapid. in typical bipolar disorder, the cycles can last for weeks or months...there is something called rapid cycling, but even that is supposed to last at least days. my cycles tend to be shorter and more instantaneous(i think that's the right word, not sure). i will go through several different cycles in a day. i don't think that happens in bipolar. at least not usually.
so i was researching a bit today because my boyfriend suggested awhile ago that i could be borderline(borderline personality disorder), and i have never really looked into that at all, or even REALLY understand what it is...actually, pretty much my only experience/knowledge of it is from watching Girl, Interrupted(susana kaysen, the author/main character has it). so i researched it a bit, and it does sound A LOT like me...like, there isn't A SINGLE SYMPTOM i don't have. borderline can have mood switches as rapidly as i do, lasting about a few hours. there is also the fear of abandonment(i am always TERRIFIED of losing friends or family, and now especially my boyfriend), and the extreme anger and inability to control it..which explains a lot. I lose my temper all the time, and violence is also a symptom. oh, and low self-esteem. now, someone who knows me from real life, ash or suzann maybe, does this sound like me? i think it's a perfect description, but an outside opinion can't hurt.
new topic. i can't remember if i talked about it on here or not, but i'm pledging a sorority at my college. well, technically i am waiting to pledge. it starts tomorrow. yay!
but i found out tonight(from a drunk frat boy, so i'm not ENTIRELY sure if it's true or not) that the college is trying to get rid of all the fraternities and sororities. the school went through all these things to get rid of alcohol on campus, and even though the greeks are following all their rules, the school has somehow decided they're a problem...so they're trying to move all the greeks off-campus...that is, they can't have their organization houses on campus, like they do now. this wouldn't be as much of a problem at another school, after all, most greeks aren't on campus. but here, it is a big problem.
a not-so-big-deal thing is that off campus greeks can't post letters anywhere, because the community has decided this promotes parties and alcohol and such...total bs, but there you go. but i don't care TOO much about this, because we could still have the house then. but for sororities even HAVING the house isn't an option if we want more than 5 people to live there, because the community has a rule against more than 5(or maybe 6, i can't remember exactly) living in a house together, because they think it is a brothel. yeah. a bunch of sorority girls who have required study and service hours are really prostitutes. the intelligence in this area amazes me.
anyways. you can probably tell i'm none too pleased with this information. looking for more explanation from the school and other (hopefully not drunk) greeks tomorrow. be back soon.
=-_-=
so i was researching a bit today because my boyfriend suggested awhile ago that i could be borderline(borderline personality disorder), and i have never really looked into that at all, or even REALLY understand what it is...actually, pretty much my only experience/knowledge of it is from watching Girl, Interrupted(susana kaysen, the author/main character has it). so i researched it a bit, and it does sound A LOT like me...like, there isn't A SINGLE SYMPTOM i don't have. borderline can have mood switches as rapidly as i do, lasting about a few hours. there is also the fear of abandonment(i am always TERRIFIED of losing friends or family, and now especially my boyfriend), and the extreme anger and inability to control it..which explains a lot. I lose my temper all the time, and violence is also a symptom. oh, and low self-esteem. now, someone who knows me from real life, ash or suzann maybe, does this sound like me? i think it's a perfect description, but an outside opinion can't hurt.
new topic. i can't remember if i talked about it on here or not, but i'm pledging a sorority at my college. well, technically i am waiting to pledge. it starts tomorrow. yay!
but i found out tonight(from a drunk frat boy, so i'm not ENTIRELY sure if it's true or not) that the college is trying to get rid of all the fraternities and sororities. the school went through all these things to get rid of alcohol on campus, and even though the greeks are following all their rules, the school has somehow decided they're a problem...so they're trying to move all the greeks off-campus...that is, they can't have their organization houses on campus, like they do now. this wouldn't be as much of a problem at another school, after all, most greeks aren't on campus. but here, it is a big problem.
a not-so-big-deal thing is that off campus greeks can't post letters anywhere, because the community has decided this promotes parties and alcohol and such...total bs, but there you go. but i don't care TOO much about this, because we could still have the house then. but for sororities even HAVING the house isn't an option if we want more than 5 people to live there, because the community has a rule against more than 5(or maybe 6, i can't remember exactly) living in a house together, because they think it is a brothel. yeah. a bunch of sorority girls who have required study and service hours are really prostitutes. the intelligence in this area amazes me.
anyways. you can probably tell i'm none too pleased with this information. looking for more explanation from the school and other (hopefully not drunk) greeks tomorrow. be back soon.
=-_-=