The Roy/Ed Fanfic Drinking Game (Or how I've been spending my time lately)
Yeah, so, FMA is one of my favorite fandoms, silently loved for many years. Thanks to a binge of Brotherhood (yay for legal licensed subs all on Youtube!) I've taken to reading Roy/Ed fic, which is really just me procrastinating, but. Anyways, I have noticed several disturbing trends in the fic for this pairing, which just sort of makes me hate tweeny fangirls all the more.
So. A list of these trends to drink to, because I end up wanting to most of the time.
Take a shot if...
-Al dies. (Take another if he has died for no other discernible reason than to make Ed angst.)
-Winry dies.
-Ed is turned into a chimera.
-Ed is turned into a chimera as a thinly-veiled excuse just to have catboy!Ed shenanigans. (Crying into your booze is an accepted addition.)
-Roy is turned into a chimera.
-Ed and Roy are forced to work together.
-Ed and Roy are forced to live together.
-Ed and Roy are forced to pretend to be a happy couple together.
-Their first kiss is during an argument. (Take a bonus shot if the kiss does not actually stop the argument.)
-Their first time is during an argument. (Again, have bonus booze if the argument does not stop for sexytimes.)
-There is an argument over who tops. (Bonus shot if Ed manages to win.)
-Ed becomes suicidal/self-harming. (Bonus shot if this is caused by Al's death.)
-Ed is raped. (Again, bonus shot if this leads to the above situation.)
-Ed gets pregnant.
-Ed gets pregnant without some bullshit alchemy reason for it.
-Ed is kidnapped and/or tortured.
-Ed gets critically ill/injured.
-Any time anything bad happens to Ed, really, for seemingly no reason.
-Ed gains special Gary Stu powers.
-Ed is, in general, "special" or the focus of the plot.
-Roy acts likes a jackass for no goddamned reason.
-Envy impersonates Roy to hurt Ed. (Bonus shot if this leads to aforementioned Ed-rape.)
-Al is in Resembool/Xing/somewhere out of the way of the romance. (Bonus shot if the reason he's gone is to shack up with Winry/Mei/someone.)
-Riza (and/or Hughes if he is alive) is the one to give Roy the "what are you waiting for?" peptalk about a relationship with Ed. (Bonus shot if the peptalk is honestly not that enlightening/inspiring, but Roy follows it anyways because the plot says so.)
-Ed and Roy get married, despite there probably being laws against that kind of thing in a turn-of-the-century European-inspired setting.
-The story is an AU. (beyond what's necessary for Roy/Ed.)
-The story is a high school AU.
That's about it for now, but geez. Some of these I see like, every other fic. Especially Al dying. It's like the Voles at the Pit can't stand the idea of Ed and Al being alive and happy at the same time, one of them's always gotta die. Also Ed going suicidal, which is so far from his canon determinator personality I just can't see it. Now suicidal Roy is fun to play with, especially if you're working with the first anime canon, but no, it's ALL ED'S PROBLEMS, ALL THE TIME. Also leading to Ed being supposedly the more sympathetic one, so even if he's been a huge jackass the entire fic, it's usually All Roy's Fault. The hell. (I actually read a fic like this, where it was trying to promote mpreg!Ed more realistically but in reality just made him a giant bitch, so despite knowing that it would probably almost kill him like it did the first time, he gets pregnant again without telling Roy, scares Roy half to death doing so and again, nearly dies to have the kid, proceeds to act like the hugest bitch in the world to Roy and doesn't allow Roy or anyone to take care of the kid which causes Roy to not bond with the kid like he should be doing because Ed won't put the fucking kid down, works himself to collapse because of this, scaring Roy, again, refuses sex and most other affection despite him being the one who undid the tube-tying to have a kid, and makes Roy have surgery instead of, you know, removing the foreign female parts that nearly killed him. And in the end, Ed was supposed to be the sympathetic one. I don't get it.)
/rant. Sorry,t hat fic pissed me off. Anyways!
I'm also working on an ideas list that I would like to see in Roy/Ed fic, prompts, as it were. I'd write myself, but I have too many ideas, and I have too much on my fic-plate as it is, so I'll just keep them as prompts until I do have time/someone adopts them. That'll be another post.
So. A list of these trends to drink to, because I end up wanting to most of the time.
Take a shot if...
-Al dies. (Take another if he has died for no other discernible reason than to make Ed angst.)
-Winry dies.
-Ed is turned into a chimera.
-Ed is turned into a chimera as a thinly-veiled excuse just to have catboy!Ed shenanigans. (Crying into your booze is an accepted addition.)
-Roy is turned into a chimera.
-Ed and Roy are forced to work together.
-Ed and Roy are forced to live together.
-Ed and Roy are forced to pretend to be a happy couple together.
-Their first kiss is during an argument. (Take a bonus shot if the kiss does not actually stop the argument.)
-Their first time is during an argument. (Again, have bonus booze if the argument does not stop for sexytimes.)
-There is an argument over who tops. (Bonus shot if Ed manages to win.)
-Ed becomes suicidal/self-harming. (Bonus shot if this is caused by Al's death.)
-Ed is raped. (Again, bonus shot if this leads to the above situation.)
-Ed gets pregnant.
-Ed gets pregnant without some bullshit alchemy reason for it.
-Ed is kidnapped and/or tortured.
-Ed gets critically ill/injured.
-Any time anything bad happens to Ed, really, for seemingly no reason.
-Ed gains special Gary Stu powers.
-Ed is, in general, "special" or the focus of the plot.
-Roy acts likes a jackass for no goddamned reason.
-Envy impersonates Roy to hurt Ed. (Bonus shot if this leads to aforementioned Ed-rape.)
-Al is in Resembool/Xing/somewhere out of the way of the romance. (Bonus shot if the reason he's gone is to shack up with Winry/Mei/someone.)
-Riza (and/or Hughes if he is alive) is the one to give Roy the "what are you waiting for?" peptalk about a relationship with Ed. (Bonus shot if the peptalk is honestly not that enlightening/inspiring, but Roy follows it anyways because the plot says so.)
-Ed and Roy get married, despite there probably being laws against that kind of thing in a turn-of-the-century European-inspired setting.
-The story is an AU. (beyond what's necessary for Roy/Ed.)
-The story is a high school AU.
That's about it for now, but geez. Some of these I see like, every other fic. Especially Al dying. It's like the Voles at the Pit can't stand the idea of Ed and Al being alive and happy at the same time, one of them's always gotta die. Also Ed going suicidal, which is so far from his canon determinator personality I just can't see it. Now suicidal Roy is fun to play with, especially if you're working with the first anime canon, but no, it's ALL ED'S PROBLEMS, ALL THE TIME. Also leading to Ed being supposedly the more sympathetic one, so even if he's been a huge jackass the entire fic, it's usually All Roy's Fault. The hell. (I actually read a fic like this, where it was trying to promote mpreg!Ed more realistically but in reality just made him a giant bitch, so despite knowing that it would probably almost kill him like it did the first time, he gets pregnant again without telling Roy, scares Roy half to death doing so and again, nearly dies to have the kid, proceeds to act like the hugest bitch in the world to Roy and doesn't allow Roy or anyone to take care of the kid which causes Roy to not bond with the kid like he should be doing because Ed won't put the fucking kid down, works himself to collapse because of this, scaring Roy, again, refuses sex and most other affection despite him being the one who undid the tube-tying to have a kid, and makes Roy have surgery instead of, you know, removing the foreign female parts that nearly killed him. And in the end, Ed was supposed to be the sympathetic one. I don't get it.)
/rant. Sorry,t hat fic pissed me off. Anyways!
I'm also working on an ideas list that I would like to see in Roy/Ed fic, prompts, as it were. I'd write myself, but I have too many ideas, and I have too much on my fic-plate as it is, so I'll just keep them as prompts until I do have time/someone adopts them. That'll be another post.