(no subject)
i love atlanta and it put on an amazing show for me, the weather, the love, it was great to be through the old neighborhood. i came home and collapsed on the floor. jonnie threw a magazine next to my head, i was page ten in TimeOut NY. the picture was huge and happily features the starwars bathroom, although you don't really get a sense of its grandeur. all timothy zahn adaptations on top of the toilet. i think we may be in the voice as well, although i haven't looked yet. i will when i go into the city tomorrow. monday i meet up with john and get all organimized. the poster is getten straightened out and now i'm askin nate to help me flesh out the mc chris bent cap cartoon head. i feel a little stupid not doing the work myself, but there's one million other things to do and i'm totally into helping out new artists. besides he's better than me. tuesday is cmj and then thursday i have my own place. i've decided that a bed is the main priority, then some sort of fan or ac. i think i will put stuff up on the walls, cuz it's always made me feel good, and this place is all about being a relief and not an eyesore. i'm considering subletting it while i'm on tour but i dunno. buying a bed just someone can sleep in it. kinda nasty. i've begun to fantasize about getting a nice tv, which i will totally be able to do when i get back from tour, maybe my chistmas present will be getting my entertainment system in order. we're talking plasma. it'll be fun to play all the holiday games when i get home. we may have a console in the van, which may be awesome, i dunno yet. i've never gamed in motion. it would really help kill time.
john and i were discussing being depressed and sleeping in the van just to get past the idea that we're stuck in a van. i've been feeling like i need an attitude adjustment, like no more sleeping in the van, maybe i need to get back into dvd's cuz that worked, my head feels a little flaked for literature and there's that album to write. john and i were driving back from connecticut where we had done a very sparse show with MC Lars. Lars was a cool kid and it was good to talk to someone who understood me when i said things like, "i don't trust anyone," and "i don't know why anyone really likes me." i had to keep john up on the way home, cuz i wanted to flirt with girls and hang with Lars, and i made him go to a quick party. i basically told him how i was feeling about everything and he felt many of the same things or at least understood, like making good versus bad choices with what we eat, because we're depressed because touring sucks. i talked about getting angry and how everyone could tell i didn't want to be mc chris in august. we didn't like the cons, although we might've if he hadn't had to work. we should've been working on the tour, but we needed to rest after july. i talked to Lars a little bit about being an asshole, too. i told him that i didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression, that i wasn't grateful, that i didn't appreciate my fans, just because i was tired from touring, not having a home and having like four dismal attempts at romance.
i don't quite know why i'm angry or depressed, because this is somewhat like a dream i'm living, at least to others. and sometimes i have to see it through their eyes in order to appreciate. i also try to remember what my childhood dream's were. i woulda thought what i was doing now was the ultimate. but that's a kid. they wanna be firemen magicians too. basically i'm going to try to put on the game face on again and not grog myself without food, pills and hops. i say this now. sometimes i look at my life and i think bacchus, and i like it a little, the troublemaker, the partier. maybe my problem is not really taking advantage of my days, just my nights. living the night to its fullest but never really getting anything done. i was so creative before i transferred to nyu, pencils and pens always moving, now you can't get me to draw, now i hire nate. so maybe this fall i'll find more on the roadside than roadkill. i hope i can be honest and fun with this new album, i feel like i haven't said word one yet.
there are still no details on the spin after party but stay tuned. the website with a remix contest and a new look and new merch items will go up next week too. oh and pictures. we haven't forgotten about the pictures. make sure you're on the mailing list as we'll be writing everyone this week as well.
i guess that's it. the entry sounds a little conflicted but i swear, i feel good and ready to not fall deeper into the abyss. xomc
john and i were discussing being depressed and sleeping in the van just to get past the idea that we're stuck in a van. i've been feeling like i need an attitude adjustment, like no more sleeping in the van, maybe i need to get back into dvd's cuz that worked, my head feels a little flaked for literature and there's that album to write. john and i were driving back from connecticut where we had done a very sparse show with MC Lars. Lars was a cool kid and it was good to talk to someone who understood me when i said things like, "i don't trust anyone," and "i don't know why anyone really likes me." i had to keep john up on the way home, cuz i wanted to flirt with girls and hang with Lars, and i made him go to a quick party. i basically told him how i was feeling about everything and he felt many of the same things or at least understood, like making good versus bad choices with what we eat, because we're depressed because touring sucks. i talked about getting angry and how everyone could tell i didn't want to be mc chris in august. we didn't like the cons, although we might've if he hadn't had to work. we should've been working on the tour, but we needed to rest after july. i talked to Lars a little bit about being an asshole, too. i told him that i didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression, that i wasn't grateful, that i didn't appreciate my fans, just because i was tired from touring, not having a home and having like four dismal attempts at romance.
i don't quite know why i'm angry or depressed, because this is somewhat like a dream i'm living, at least to others. and sometimes i have to see it through their eyes in order to appreciate. i also try to remember what my childhood dream's were. i woulda thought what i was doing now was the ultimate. but that's a kid. they wanna be firemen magicians too. basically i'm going to try to put on the game face on again and not grog myself without food, pills and hops. i say this now. sometimes i look at my life and i think bacchus, and i like it a little, the troublemaker, the partier. maybe my problem is not really taking advantage of my days, just my nights. living the night to its fullest but never really getting anything done. i was so creative before i transferred to nyu, pencils and pens always moving, now you can't get me to draw, now i hire nate. so maybe this fall i'll find more on the roadside than roadkill. i hope i can be honest and fun with this new album, i feel like i haven't said word one yet.
there are still no details on the spin after party but stay tuned. the website with a remix contest and a new look and new merch items will go up next week too. oh and pictures. we haven't forgotten about the pictures. make sure you're on the mailing list as we'll be writing everyone this week as well.
i guess that's it. the entry sounds a little conflicted but i swear, i feel good and ready to not fall deeper into the abyss. xomc