antsy
20 minutes until class, and i don't want to go. at all. i'm completely unmotivated to go, and i simply don't want to make the effort. i feel unmotivated to do work on my senior project. i'm simply unmotivated to do anything.
i'm also worried about a friend. going through some rough times, things to think about, future, present, they are all interwoven. i know that while i'm not worried about my own future, that being in God's hands, i am always filled with trepidation over changes and future, so even though everything is assured, i'm still scared of the future.
sheila has been saying that this next birthday of hers is going to be her last. where would she get an idea like that? she knows of the concept of "last" from the "last episode" of her favorite tv programs. she knows that "last" means "the end". why is she saying that this next birthday is going to be her last? is it just sheila being impulsive and not understanding what she's saying? i'm hoping that's all it is. because if it's not, then we have one more year of time with sheila.
that's really scary
really really scary
i spent so much time resenting her, that's so many moments wasted.
what a depressing thought to start the afternoon on.
i'm also worried about a friend. going through some rough times, things to think about, future, present, they are all interwoven. i know that while i'm not worried about my own future, that being in God's hands, i am always filled with trepidation over changes and future, so even though everything is assured, i'm still scared of the future.
sheila has been saying that this next birthday of hers is going to be her last. where would she get an idea like that? she knows of the concept of "last" from the "last episode" of her favorite tv programs. she knows that "last" means "the end". why is she saying that this next birthday is going to be her last? is it just sheila being impulsive and not understanding what she's saying? i'm hoping that's all it is. because if it's not, then we have one more year of time with sheila.
that's really scary
really really scary
i spent so much time resenting her, that's so many moments wasted.
what a depressing thought to start the afternoon on.