FIC: "Meeting In Progress" 1/1 (Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Miranda Otto, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean)
Title: "Meeting In Progress" 1/1
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Miranda Otto, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Viggo Mortensen
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And Orlando's still not in a relationship with Harry and Karl.
Summary: Orlando attends a Council meeting and has a few questions about the vetting process for Gift petitions. Takes place three months after Return To Normal.
Orlando cursed under his breath as he willed the printer to hurry the hell up. Council was in session in less than ten minutes and he still had two emails to answer and his notes to look over and Viggo wanted the economic forecasts for Malaysia to present to the members and just whose bloody stupid idea had it been not to allow any sort of electronic devices into Council chambers. It was barbaric in this day and age, not to mention a bloody waste of trees. All that paper they had to shred at the end of meetings...it was beyond stupid. He had half a mind to pester Harry and/or Karl into proposing an amendment to at least allow Blackberries or iPhones or iPads or something, hell, even a projector for Power Point slides would be a great addition.
Fuck security protocols, really. It just wasn't good business.
Finally, the printer finished, and Orlando snatched the papers, stuffing them in a manila file, and raced down the hall, replying to his emails on his iPhone along the way. When he got outside the chamber doors, James, the security guard, greeted him. "Hands out, please, Mr. Bloom."
"It's Orlando. For the millionth time." He held out his hands for the wand to be waved over him. James was very thorough. Once clear, Orlando placed his iPhone into his secure drop box, and took a second to straighten his tie before stepping inside the controlled chaos. Aides and assistants raced to and fro, while the Council members looked over papers and notes, everyone looking deep in thought. He spared a quick glance for Harry and Karl, seated together as always, heads bent over the same sheet of paper, then made his way to the head of the table and Viggo.
He dropped the file in Viggo's lap. "You do realize this is completely medieval."
"So you keep saying," Viggo replied, mildly, and opened the folder. "But there's a reason for it. The Malaysia numbers?"
"Here." Orlando handed the sheets over to Viggo. "And, if I could ask a favor. Can you push the Gift petitions to the end of the meeting? I still need to look over my own notes."
"Is there a problem?" Viggo looked up, and Orlando found himself standing straighter under that penetrating gaze.
"No, just...there was a discrepancy in one of the reports, so Miranda's digging for a little more information for me," Orlando said, wishing again (for the millionth time) that he could bring his iPhone in with him. Then he wouldn't have to wait on Miranda. Or anyone else.
Viggo looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "I don't think that will be a problem. I'd like to get the Malaysia issue out of the way early, anyway."
"Thank you," Orlando said, and smiled. Then he looked around the room, still amazed that the aides and assistants didn't crash into each other every ten seconds. It seemed as if each Council member had at least a half dozen people seeing to them, and they all had terribly important things to take care of all the time. From the corner of his eye, Orlando saw Viggo smile and shake his head. "What?"
"Nothing," Viggo replied, then added: "You're just a very loud thinker at times."
"Oh." Damn it. Orlando could feel the flush creep up his face, and he cleared his throat, hoping no one would notice. He gestured towards the room. "Shall I?"
"Please."
Taking a deep breath, Orlando rapped on the table until heads turned his way and the chaos and noise ceased. "Ladies, Gentlemen," he said, nodding at each of them. "The meeting is now in session."
Almost like a dance, the aides and assistants left the room, shutting the heavy oak doors behind them with an authoritative thump. The sound never failed to make Orlando think of bad action films with secret cabals that met in basements of mansions, plotting the takeover of the world. Although, he supposed, the Council was sort of like a cabal. Only, not secret, and they didn't have to plot to take over anything.
Orlando stood off to the side - as the assistant to the Head of the Council, he was allowed to sit in on certain meetings, which still freaked him out when he thought too much about it - and watched roll call, then dropped into one of the chairs by the far wall and opened his folder. Seven people petitioning for the Gift, and one of Orlando's jobs (which had been a total shock when Dave had explained it to him) was to carefully go through the vetting process of each candidate and create profiles that would then be presented to the Council before the vote. This was his first time up to the plate, so to speak, and he wanted to make sure everything was beyond reproach. The fate of these people depended on it.
The door beside him opened soundlessly and Miranda glided in, perfectly put together, not a single hair out of place. She was the single most organized person Orlando had ever met. And a little terrifying in that she could recall everything - her memory was perfect. But she ran the Council with ruthless efficiency and a smile, a bitch on wheels in sensible pumps and conservative dresses, and Orlando knew the place would be lost without her.
//Here.// She handed him a sheaf of papers, and sat beside him. //Nervous?//
"A little," Orlando replied, careful to pitch his voice so as not to disrupt anyone at the table. "First time and all."
//You get used to it.// She settled back in her seat. As Orlando looked over the new papers, she reached over and pointed at one line of text.
Fuck.
He quickly flipped through the papers again, then shook his head. Even though the vote could always go either way after discussion, Orlando knew there was no way this one was going to get approved. He now understood why Dave had said this part of the job sucked.
//Just remember that it's not your fault.// When he looked over again, Miranda offered an understanding smile. //Dave blamed himself in the beginning, too. But, if your research wasn't thorough, someone would slip through the cracks, and that's just not an acceptable risk.//
"I know," he whispered, eyes darting to the table where a heated discussion was playing out. "I just...it sucks, y'know?"
//Not everyone is meant for this life.// She patted his hand, stood. //You'll be fine. Just remember to breathe and speak clearly. Gina appreciates perfect elocution.//
"Thanks." Miranda left the room as silently and gracefully as she'd entered, and Orlando spent a moment inhaling and exhaling. The topic at the table was now concerning some trade agreement with the new government that had taken over Nigeria - pretty standard, from what Orlando could see - with Richard and Michelle mostly leading the discussion. Frankly, Orlando was surprised that Marcus hadn't found a way to offer his two cents yet, but maybe he was saving himself for the Gift vetting process.
//Child, really, he's a Senior Council member. Some respect for his position, if nothing else, would be welcome.//
Orlando glanced up from his notes to find Viggo giving him a pointed look. Fuck. He really was going to have to learn to temper his thoughts better around Viggo - which was pretty much impossible, but still. He settled for glaring back and making a concerted effort at going back to his notes.
***
It was another two hours before Orlando was asked to speak. He gave himself another steadying breath as Viggo called upon him to present his findings to the Council, and stood. He could do this. It helped that both Harry and Karl both gave him encouraging nods and sent the same encouragement through their bonds. Things weren't remotely even close to being perfect between them yet, but he knew he had their support in this, and that was enough for now.
"So, as you can see on your notes, there are seven applicants who've requested the Gift," he began, and did his best to take Miranda's advice. Just give the information on each person and let the process happen as it should. Still, it was hard not to feel something for these people whose lives and futures were entirely dependent upon the thirteen people in this room.
The first two applicants went smoothly. Orlando presented the information on each person, the Council members conducted a brief discussion, and then the candidate was led in to hear their fate. Orlando listened closely to the discussion, trying to get a feel for what each individual member looked for and thought important. It varied widely. But no matter, both were given approval and Orlando couldn't help the twinge of jealousy that shot through him with each yes vote.
Then it was time for the third candidate.
Orlando took a deep breath and started to recite the information. He didn't make it halfway through before Marcus (of course it was Marcus) interrupted.
"You do realize the psych profile contradicts itself."
Orlando tried to keep his face expressionless. "It does," he admitted, clasping his hands behind his back to hide his nervousness. "But if you'll flip to the back of that report, you'll see an addendum. We had to do some last minute digging, but there are indications of, ah, mental instability in the family through the maternal line. At least one female in each generation -"
"Is completely cuckoo for cocoa puffs," Sung said, and Aishwarya snorted out a laugh. Orlando had to bite his lip to keep from laughing himself. Trust Sung to break the ice and keep things irreverent.
"If sanity was a prerequisite, our population would be cut in half," Sean said, with a surreptitious wink for Orlando. "However, I am worried about her uncles..."
"Agreed," Harry nodded. "While I have no problem with her personally - she seemed lovely in my interview with her - I do worry that her uncles might try to press her into doing some work for them as a family favor."
Gina tapped the folder. "And given how much family means to her, she might feel she has no choice. And a vampire doing drug cartel dirty work...that's not something we can afford."
Orlando listened to the arguments with growing dismay. He hadn't even considered that a candidate could be rejected for having a shady family. Before getting this job, he'd never thought about all of the socio and political and moral implications that had to be taken into account before giving anyone the Gift, had naïvely thought that it was really up to the vampire and the mortal, and the vote was merely a formality.
"I don't need any more discussion," Eva said, looking around the table as a few others nodded. "With no guarantee that she could refuse family requests, my vote is no."
"I have to agree," Marcus said, closing the folder. "I would be hesitant to vote yes based on the psych profile alone. We don't need someone having a potential psychotic break with our powers and abilities. Add to that the family issues, and it's a definite no from me."
"I think we've heard everything we need," Viggo said, resting his hand on the report. "All in favor?"
Orlando looked around the table, not surprised when no hands went up. There was no need for Viggo to ask for those opposed. Orlando swallowed hard and bowed to the Council, then moved to the door to admit the woman and her sponsor.
After that round (which went well, all things considered, Orlando thought, even though he didn't have a basis for comparison), the rest of the votes went just as smoothly. The Council approved one more and rejected the others - one because the vampire wasn't 'mature enough' (as Gerry had put it) to sire a fledgling yet, one due to the health of the mortal in question (too fragile to survive the process according to extensive medical records), and the last because both Karl and Aishwarya hadn't liked the mortal during his interview process. Orlando took notes, paid attention to both the vampires and mortals during the rejections (on Viggo's orders, although he wasn't quite sure why), and generally tried to soak in the entire process like a sponge.
The meeting was adjourned shortly after, and Sean beckoned him over to where he and Harry and Karl were sitting as soon as the doors opened and the all clear was given. Orlando looked at him for a second, then shook his head. He didn't want to impose, especially not when the subject of the Gift nomination process was bound to come up. Hell would freeze over before he would give Harry any reason to think he was trying to pressure Harry on this matter.
He watched as Sean said something to Karl, too low for Orlando to hear, then Karl frowned and made his own beckoning motion.
Harry, however, never even lifted his head from the papers in his hand. Fuck.
After a quick look at Viggo to make sure he wasn't needed (Viggo was deep in conversation with Gerry), Orlando walked over and stood before them.
"How're you holding up?" Sean asked after a brief look towards Harry.
"I'm good," Orlando said, frowning at the toes of his shoes. It looked like one of them had a scuff. He shifted his foot. No, just a shadow. Then he realized no one had said anything. Looking up, he found Karl and Sean watching him closely. "I guess I just don't quite understand how some of you come to your decisions."
"Call it intuition," Karl said. "Sometimes, you just know that giving the Gift to someone would be a very bad idea."
"And sometimes," Sean added, "you know the sponsor couldn't find their way out of a paper bag if someone turned it upside down and shook it."
Orlando glanced at Harry, who had yet to say a word. He opened his mouth, then closed it as Viggo joined them.
"Your first lesson," Viggo said, his expression unreadable. "Why were you told to pay special attention to the rejected candidates and their sponsors?"
"Um..." Orlando looked back down at his shoes, mind whirling as he tried to come up with the answer. It had to be something simple, something he could figure out on his own. Suddenly, something Marcus had said during the last rejection clicked. "Because there's always the chance the sponsor could go rogue or the candidate could convince them to go rogue, and they'd be given the Gift anyway, and something they do or say during the rejection could be a clue?"
"Very good. And the other reason?"
Orlando didn't dare look to anyone else for help. He knew he was on his own for this one. "Because the candidates might decide to seek revenge against the Council, so we need to pay attention to how they act?"
"Two for two. I'm impressed." Orlando had a feeling that he'd passed an important test when Viggo gave him an approving nod. "How are you holding up? I know the first time being part of the process is a lot to handle."
"Good." Orlando darted a quick look to Harry, who was now just staring calmly at him, like what they were discussing was no more important than the trade agreement earlier. It was really disconcerting. "I mean, I guess I never realized just how complicated it all was until now, but I'm handling it."
"Just remember, you and Harry are the only two vampires ever given the Gift and allowed to keep it without a full Council vote," Viggo said. "These laws have been in place for thousands of years, and serve to protect both ourselves and mortals."
"Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be so lucky the second time around," Orlando said, refusing to look at anyone but Viggo.
"No," Viggo replied, giving Harry a thoughtful look, "I'd say not. Observations on the rejections?"
Jesus, nothing like being put on the spot in front of Harry. Orlando supposed he should be thankful that Marcus wasn't part of the group. "Well...the two women were disappointed and so was the one guy, but, um, the other guy...the one Karl and Aishwarya had issues with...he was pissed. Really pissed. I'd have someone watch him for awhile if I were you."
The second the words were out of his mouth, Orlando felt the blood drain from his face, and he stared at a spot just past Viggo's ear. Giving unsolicited advice to the head of the Council? Wonderful. Very mature.
"Is that your recommendation as my aide?" Viggo asked mildly, but Orlando could hear the slight emphasis Viggo placed on the last word and winced.
"Yes, I mean, yessir. That's my recommendation," Orlando replied, keeping his voice as businesslike as possible.
"Very well. I trust you to see to the details. Gentlemen." With that, Viggo nodded and strode out the door.
Orlando just let out a weak breath. "Anyone ever tell him how scary he gets when he's in full-on Viggo mode?"
Sean chuckled. "That's why he does it. Fear's a useful tool in our line of work. A little intimidation goes a long way in certain situations."
"Or a lot of intimidation in some cases," Karl added.
Sean leaned across Karl, frowning. "You're awfully quiet, Harry."
"Am I?"
"You've barely said a word since Orlando walked over." Sean glanced back and forth between the both of them, sharp green eyes missing nothing. "Is everything alright between you two?"
"It's fine," Orlando quickly replied, before Harry could even open his mouth. The very last thing he wanted was Sean thinking that Orlando was unhappy. He and Harry had enough to deal with right now.
Karl hadn't moved, but Orlando could tell he was watching both of them closely. Harry just cast him a speculative look. "Are you fine?" he asked, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Watching this can't have been easy for you, given the circumstances."
Orlando held Harry's gaze. He could feel the others watching him, but he refused to look at them. "This is just a part of my job. Nothing that happened tonight has anything to do with me."
//Would you tell me if you weren't fine?//
Orlando could only manage a small nod. He wanted to assure Harry that he really had changed, but he knew nothing he could say would mean anything. He'd have to prove himself.
He just wished he knew how to go about doing it.
//Alright.// The look in Harry's eyes softened. //Just remember, I am here for you, even if you don't think I'll like what you have to say. I value your honesty more than your acquiescence.//
//I know.// Orlando held his gaze for another moment, then glanced at Sean and Karl. "As much fun as this is -"
"Were we having fun?" Sean asked Karl, who just shrugged.
"- I've got a few reports on my desk that I need to take care of," Orlando finished, ignoring Sean's comment. Best not to let him get started. "So if you'll excuse me..."
"Will you be home late?" Karl asked.
"Depends on how involved the reports are." He hesitated for a second, then bent to brush a kiss across Karl's cheek. "Let's just say I'll be home later, and I'll let you know if it's going to be much later."
A quick glance at Harry showed he was still had that same calm, unreadable look on his face. So Orlando bit his lip, then nodded at Harry before starting towards the door. But if his fingertips trailed briefly across the smooth skin of Harry's nape, snarling for just a second in the tie that held his hair back, Orlando figured no one would blame him.
***
An hour later, he was knee-deep in spread sheets and roundly cursing an error in the formulas that meant he'd have to redo at least two reports (he was also ready to kill the inflexible moron that had invented Excel, but that was another matter), when Sean strolled into his office and shut the door behind him.
Orlando simply blinked as Sean sank onto the chair opposite his desk and folded his hands over his lap, looking for all the world like he was settling in for the duration. "Uh, did you need something?"
"Not really. I thought you might want to talk."
"Talk?" Orlando's mind went blank. "Talk about what?" His head was still swimming with numbers.
Sean's eyebrows quirked upwards. "Whatever's going on with you and Harry and Karl. I take it that it hasn't been all sunshine and roses since you got back from London."
The numbers vanished from his head like a popped soap bubble. "Everything is, y'know, fine," he finally managed, trying not to wince as his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "It's just that I was gone for a long time, and um, we're, y'know working things...reconnect..."
He trailed off as Sean just sat there, patient and silent.
"You're not buying this, are you," Orlando sighed, and it wasn't a question. He closed his laptop. The spread sheets would have to wait, because there was no way he was getting any more work done. May as well call it a night and head home. He glanced over to find Sean still watching him.
Bloody fucking vampires.
Orlando cleared his throat again, looked out his office window at the bright lights of L.A. sprawled out below them. "I'm sleeping in one of the guest rooms," he quietly said, knowing the words didn't need any elaboration, "in the west wing."
"I see," Sean said slowly, but he didn't sound surprised. "And how are you dealing with that?"
"Um..." What the hell was he supposed to say here? That he was lonely as hell and going crazy with the lack of physical contact? That he wasn't entirely sure when (or if) things were going to get back to normal or if Harry would ever forgive him or if Karl would ever forgive him or how he was going to go about proving himself when they weren't really offering him any clues? That there was still a distance that he had no idea how to bridge?
Some of Orlando's turmoil must have shown on his face because Sean's face softened in sympathy. "It won't be forever, child."
Orlando swallowed around the lump in his throat. "It was for Joaquin," he whispered. "It's been centuries and neither Karl nor Harry have forgiven him yet. What if I'm like that?"
Sean grimaced. "You always go for the hard example. It's got to be a gift."
"Ha," Orlando muttered. He rubbed a hand over his face and looked back out the window. The view hadn't changed - it was still as gorgeous and breath-taking as ever. But he couldn't appreciate it. "That's not an answer, though."
"I know." Sean sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "All I can say is that he was never bonded to either of them. That tips the scales significantly in your favor."
"Maybe." Orlando was reluctant to admit Sean might be right. After all, it wasn't like Sean had to live in a silent house where people barely looked at him and never fucking touched him. And he'd honestly thought, after their talk in London, that maybe... He should have known better. They'd both said it wasn't going to be that easy.
Tipping his seat back, he stared at the ceiling until his eyes started to water. "How's Dom?"
"He's good. Which you'd know if you'd ever actually accept any of his invitations for an evening out. Don't think he hasn't realized you're avoiding him. Right now, he's not sure if it's because you slept with each other or because of whatever's wrong between you and Harry and Karl, but heaven help you once he decides one way or the other."
"I'm not avoiding him, I just...don't want to go out clubbing with him. He's come over to the house several times."
Sean made his name a warning. "Orlando..."
"What do you want me to say?" He winced at how defensive he sounded. "I just said I wasn't avoiding him."
"Why don't you want to go out with him?"
"It's gonna sound stupid."
"Try me."
What the hell. It wasn't like he could possibly embarrass himself more than he already had. "I don't want to go out with anyone, not just Dom," he said. "What if I meet someone I want to take home...I mean, fuck, can you imagine how well that'll go over right now with Harry and Karl? I'm not going to give them a reason to think I'm not serious about patching things up with them."
Sean pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know this isn't about sex..."
"Duh. How can it be about something that's not even happening?"
"That's not what I meant. Harry and Karl know what a physical person you are," Sean said. "I'm sure they're not going to expect you to abstain from sex with anyone else simply because you're not having sex with them. They're not abstaining from sex, unless something very odd is going on that I don't know about."
"I wouldn't know," Orlando said, then stopped to take a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry. I just...I guess I'm a little stressed right now, but I'm not trying to take it out on you. And it's got nothing to do with Dom, okay, but I don't want to be tempted. And if I go out -"
"You're afraid you will be," Sean said. "And worse, that you'll act on it. Not to repeat myself, but they won't -"
"Don't," Orlando said, quietly. "Don't tell me they won't think anything of it, because they will. Maybe not consciously, and maybe they won't ever say anything, but it'll be there, deep down. And maybe I'm wrong, but my gut tells me that pulling someone right now would be a very bad idea. A very bad idea, because I may not have made an ounce of progress in the last few months, but static is better than going backwards, right?"
"Not really," Sean replied. "Not if it means you're afraid to have an honest conversation with them. Isn't that what caused all of your problems with them in the first place?"
"I know," Orlando groaned, slumping back into his seat. "I know, alright, but I can't...I can't risk it. I can't lose them, Sean, I just can't."
"Then talk to them." Sean reached across the desk to place his hand over Orlando's. "They love you and they wouldn't have gone after you if they weren't interested in making things right. It's past time for the three of you to have an honest assessment on where things stand right now and the next steps you all need to make to go forward."
Orlando looked at Sean's hand covering his for a moment, then sighed. "It's not that simple. I don't even know which direction is forward, and they're giving me no clues at all. Maybe I should ask for a progress report."
"Maybe you should."
"Sean..." Orlando trailed off as he looked at Sean. Something in his expression made Orlando stop for just a moment. "Are you serious?"
"As a blood transfusion."
Orlando wondered if that was the vampire equivalent of a heart attack. "You seriously want me to, I dunno, march into their room and ask them to tell me how I'm doing?"
"Well, you don't have to march," Sean offered, with a sly grin. "But yes, that's exactly what I want you to do. More importantly, that's exactly what you should do. It's your life, too, you know. And you have every right to know if they need something from you that you're not currently providing."
"You do realize how insane that sounds, yes?" Just the idea of it was enough to chill Orlando's blood. But it also spoke volumes about the situation that he was honestly considering it. He was going as batty as the rest of them.
"Don't misunderstand me. Harry and Karl have every right to take as much time as they need to forgive you or whatever it is they're doing, but they also have an obligation to talk it over with you. And you have a right to have all of the information you need to make an informed decision about what you want."
"That's simple," Orlando replied. "I just want them back. Whatever it takes. I want things...to be like they were, I guess."
"You know that's impossible," Sean said. "But they just might be better."
"They can't be any worse," Orlando mumbled. He had no doubt that Sean heard him, then wondered if he looked as pathetic as he felt just then.
"So," Sean said, after a long moment of silence. "Whatever it takes?"
Orlando just nodded.
"And what if whatever it takes means giving up the fangs?"
"I...what?" Orlando stared, not comprehending the question for a long moment. "That's...that's not funny."
"It isn't meant to be. I'm simply trying to determine just how serious you are. Because I can guarantee you that Harry and Karl will do the same."
It had to be a trick question. Suddenly, he wondered if maybe Sean knew something he wasn't saying. He wanted to ask, but he swallowed the words. The last thing he was going to do was ask someone else for insight on his relationships.
Giving up the fangs. He'd already done that, but he knew Sean meant giving up the possibility of getting them again. And that possibility...
Orlando looked down, focused on the heavy signet ring on his left hand. "If that's what it takes, then I suppose I'll remain a pet for the rest of my life. However long that ends up being."
"It would still be centuries, you know." When Orlando looked up, it was to find Sean looking at him with a sympathetic expression. "And since you have a double pet bond, who knows how much longer you'll live and how much more slowly you'll age."
Orlando thought about Dom, still so young and vibrant looking - even though he was well over a century old - and nodded. "Do you..." He faltered, but forced himself to ask the question. "Do you think Harry's changed his mind? Is that why you're asking?"
"Not that he's told me," Sean answered. "He hasn't even hinted at it. But I know the push and pull over it has been an issue between you."
"Understatement."
"Tell him what you told me," Sean urged. "Take the issue off the table so he can't use it as an excuse. Whatever went wrong with the three of you isn't about the Gift, so don't let them get sidetracked on it."
"You want me to bring up the issue of the Gift with him. The last bloody thing I need to do is mention that, because -"
"I'm not suggesting you discuss the Gift itself with him. I'm merely saying that if he believes you're willing to withdraw your request, then it's no longer an issue. And it can no longer be used to avoid discussing the actual problem."
"You act as if they'll actually talk to me," he said, then stopped. Sean didn't need to hear the gory details. "Okay, I'll give it a shot."
"That's all I'm asking. And they will talk to you," Sean added. "You just haven't always liked what they've had to say."
Orlando really hated it when Sean had a point, but now...it was different. Everything was different. "I hope you're right about them talking to me."
"Go home," Sean said, gently. "Sit them both down and have an honest conversation. And if they start to shut you out or behave like the Eternal Idiots they are, call them out on it instead of retreating. You have to start treating them as your equals and get them off this pedestal you've put them on."
Orlando instinctually bristled. "I don't -"
"Please don't insult my intelligence by denying it. But I can tell you now that's the main thing that's holding you back from getting to where you need to be with them - deep down, you don't think you have the right to be there in the first place."
"I got lucky that night in the club," Orlando said, with a soft smile. "If I'd seen the two of them together before all of this?"
"You would have never approached either of them."
"Not in a million years. Plus, I doubt either of them would have even noticed me if they'd been with each other. You know how they are."
"I don't think that's true at all. I may not have been there the night you met Karl, but I remember the ceremony, and I remember the moment the bond clicked between the two of you." Then his grin got wide and a little wicked. "And I definitely remember the bond clicking between you and Harry that night, even if none of us knew what it was at the time."
Orlando chewed his lip. Maybe that was where everything had gone off the rails. All those years ago. Then he shook his head. It wasn't like he could go back in time and change things. And even if he could, he wouldn't. Not if it meant losing Karl. But sometimes... "You know, there are times when I'm jealous as hell of you and Dom."
"I'm not surprised. You barely had Karl to yourself before you were confronted with Harry, and you've always known that Harry would never be fully yours. Dom and I may have fun with other people, but we've both known from the moment we met that we would always come first with the other. You've never had that."
"No. And I never will. I know how lucky I am to have the both of them, and I wouldn't change things, but sometimes...I look at you and Dom or Dave and Lawrence..."
Sean got up and crossed to the desk. "C'mere," he said, and pulled Orlando up into his arms. Orlando didn't even try to fight it - he was just grateful that Sean knew him well enough to know he needed a hug.
"It's alright." Sean brushed a kiss to his forehead. "You're allowed to want someone for yourself, you know. You're allowed to want either one of them to yourself. You don't think Monica's felt the same way at times about Harry or Josh about Karl? You're not alone."
"You know that doesn't make me feel better, right?" Orlando buried his face in the curve of Sean's neck and held tight, ridiculously grateful for this small bit of physical affection.
"Perhaps not, but it can't hurt to know there are others who understand exactly how you feel."
"But, I shouldn't feel this way," Orlando muttered. "I've known almost from the beginning how it was going to be. I just...I'm never going to have that someone just for me."
Gentle fingers tipped his chin up until Orlando was looking in Sean's eyes. "Never is a very long time. And I've no doubt that there is someone out there. Even if they haven't been born yet. Don't stop living your life because you're trying to make them happy."
Orlando just nodded, because he couldn't think of anything to say. It was like his brain had overloaded and shut down.
"Talk to them," Sean said. "Take the issue of the Gift off the table and go from there. And if they're still unwilling to treat you as a pet should be treated, simply remind them that there's an entire world out there that would be thrilled to have a little of your time."
"I hardly think threatening them -"
"Not a threat. Just an assurance that you have a lot to offer the right person, and if they're not interested in being the right persons for you, you're not going to sit in a corner pining for them."
"Even if it's a lie?"
Sean dropped a quick kiss to Orlando's lips. "Especially if it's a lie. Take a page from their book if you need to. It would do them good."
"I know." Orlando dropped his head back to Sean's shoulder. "It's just convincing myself to actually do it. But I will, I promise. I mean, you're right. We can't continue on like this."
"No you can't. And maybe you'll rediscover the Orlando we've known the last decade - the fearless one with enough energy and spirit to burn."
Orlando let out a quiet laugh. "But I'm not that Orlando anymore. I gave it up for something that might not even happen."
"No," Sean corrected, "you gave up the fangs, not the man you were. He's still in there somewhere - you just need to rediscover him."
"I don't think that man was ever real."
"He was. And I've seen him recently," Sean said, as he guided Orlando to a chair in front of the desk.
"You have?"
"Dom has, too," Sean said, smiling. "That night in my house."
"I..." Orlando stopped, frowning.
Sean crouched in front of Orlando, catching Orlando's hands in his. "When you vamped out on Dom, and then when you left the room with Aubrey. You were scared as hell, but you were also curious, and you weren't going to let the fear rule you. All you need to do is find that Orlando again and unleash him on Harry and Karl."
Orlando snorted. "So they can have me for breakfast?"
"I think you'll be surprised at the reaction."
"I don't think this is a problem that's going to be solved with sex."
"This isn't about sex. It's about fear." Sean moved to the chair next to him, but kept his hand on top of Orlando's. "You made a major mistake in running, and they were right to take you to task for it. Frankly, if Dom had done what you'd done, I wouldn't have come after him at all."
Okay, wow, that was...enlightening. "Really?"
"Really," Sean nodded. "You broke their trust in you by shutting them out, and that's not an easy thing to forgive. But tiptoeing around them and being afraid to speak up isn't the solution."
"And what if it can't be fixed?" Orlando whispered, giving voice to his worst fear. "What if I fucked it up beyond repair?"
"You're not Joaquin," Sean soothed, "and I promise you that you didn't fuck anything up beyond repair. They wouldn't have come after you if you had."
Orlando nodded, and picked at a stray bit of thread on his trousers. He didn't look up. "Harry didn't want to. Come, I mean. Karl had to pretty much force him to get on the plane."
"You've been around long enough to know that God himself couldn't force Harry to do something he didn't want to do. Harry wanted to come - he just needed a push. And Karl, as he normally does, provided it. You'll be fine, I promise. They're not going to abandon you, not over this."
"Maybe not," Orlando admitted, "but they can make my life miserable for a really long time."
"They can. But they won't. Trust me when I say that you being miserable - or happy or sad or hurt or scared - is going to affect them."
"They can block me out," Orlando said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It wasn't like he was telling Sean anything that Sean didn't already know.
"True," Sean said, but he was smiling like he knew something Orlando didn't. "But I don't suppose anyone ever bothered to tell you that the pet bond is unique in one way. They can block you, yes, but they will always be able to tell when you're in distress or feeling something very strongly. Even if you're on the other side of the world. Not even an iunctum bond or a Sire/fledgling bond can do that, not if one person is actively blocking it. It's why Liv and Gerard have never been able to find Joaquin."
Orlando opened his mouth, then closed it. Just like that, he remembered the first time he was ever alone with Harry and the way Karl had come charging in, thinking Orlando was in trouble. Maybe Sean had a point. "Okay," he said, slowly, "I can see that. Sort of."
"It's part of the bond. And part of the protection a vampire provides for their pet. And I'm not saying we can't ignore our pet's emotional turmoil for a time, but it does take its toll. So trust me when I tell you that they want to sort things out with you."
"Huh." Orlando couldn't think of a single other thing to say. He had no idea he had that sort of connection - that sort of power - over their well-being. Even if they were very good at hiding it.
"Keep that in mind when you're talking to them, as well," Sean advised. "And remember to actually listen to what they're saying, instead of reacting to what you think they might say."
Which sounded exactly like what Karl had told him back in London. Maybe it was time to listen. Orlando stared at the papers scattered across his desk. So many things he still needed to do. But all he could think about was getting out of that office. Something told him that Viggo wouldn't mind. "I need to go," he said, looking around for his keys. "I need -"
"Go." Sean snagged his keys and iPhone from the desk and pressed them into Orlando's hand. I'll take care of things here."
"I...you...thank you." Without thinking, he pulled Sean into a tight hug, then kissed him, hands framing Sean's face, keys and phone caught between them, and Orlando tried to pour everything he was feeling - all of his love and gratitude and thankfulness that Sean had sought him out - into the kiss.
Sean accepted the gift, and returned it, letting Orlando know, without words, that he felt the same. Then he brushed his lips across Orlando's one last time, and gave him a small nudge. "Go on, get. And if you need anything..."
"I know who to call," Orlando smiled. He gave Sean one last hug, the practically sprinted out of his office. He felt energized, ready to take on the world, and silently thanked Sean again. He couldn't wait to get home to Harry and Karl and clear the air, and hopefully - God, hopefully - make some real progress in getting them all back where they belonged.
***
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Miranda Otto, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Viggo Mortensen
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And Orlando's still not in a relationship with Harry and Karl.
Summary: Orlando attends a Council meeting and has a few questions about the vetting process for Gift petitions. Takes place three months after Return To Normal.
Orlando cursed under his breath as he willed the printer to hurry the hell up. Council was in session in less than ten minutes and he still had two emails to answer and his notes to look over and Viggo wanted the economic forecasts for Malaysia to present to the members and just whose bloody stupid idea had it been not to allow any sort of electronic devices into Council chambers. It was barbaric in this day and age, not to mention a bloody waste of trees. All that paper they had to shred at the end of meetings...it was beyond stupid. He had half a mind to pester Harry and/or Karl into proposing an amendment to at least allow Blackberries or iPhones or iPads or something, hell, even a projector for Power Point slides would be a great addition.
Fuck security protocols, really. It just wasn't good business.
Finally, the printer finished, and Orlando snatched the papers, stuffing them in a manila file, and raced down the hall, replying to his emails on his iPhone along the way. When he got outside the chamber doors, James, the security guard, greeted him. "Hands out, please, Mr. Bloom."
"It's Orlando. For the millionth time." He held out his hands for the wand to be waved over him. James was very thorough. Once clear, Orlando placed his iPhone into his secure drop box, and took a second to straighten his tie before stepping inside the controlled chaos. Aides and assistants raced to and fro, while the Council members looked over papers and notes, everyone looking deep in thought. He spared a quick glance for Harry and Karl, seated together as always, heads bent over the same sheet of paper, then made his way to the head of the table and Viggo.
He dropped the file in Viggo's lap. "You do realize this is completely medieval."
"So you keep saying," Viggo replied, mildly, and opened the folder. "But there's a reason for it. The Malaysia numbers?"
"Here." Orlando handed the sheets over to Viggo. "And, if I could ask a favor. Can you push the Gift petitions to the end of the meeting? I still need to look over my own notes."
"Is there a problem?" Viggo looked up, and Orlando found himself standing straighter under that penetrating gaze.
"No, just...there was a discrepancy in one of the reports, so Miranda's digging for a little more information for me," Orlando said, wishing again (for the millionth time) that he could bring his iPhone in with him. Then he wouldn't have to wait on Miranda. Or anyone else.
Viggo looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "I don't think that will be a problem. I'd like to get the Malaysia issue out of the way early, anyway."
"Thank you," Orlando said, and smiled. Then he looked around the room, still amazed that the aides and assistants didn't crash into each other every ten seconds. It seemed as if each Council member had at least a half dozen people seeing to them, and they all had terribly important things to take care of all the time. From the corner of his eye, Orlando saw Viggo smile and shake his head. "What?"
"Nothing," Viggo replied, then added: "You're just a very loud thinker at times."
"Oh." Damn it. Orlando could feel the flush creep up his face, and he cleared his throat, hoping no one would notice. He gestured towards the room. "Shall I?"
"Please."
Taking a deep breath, Orlando rapped on the table until heads turned his way and the chaos and noise ceased. "Ladies, Gentlemen," he said, nodding at each of them. "The meeting is now in session."
Almost like a dance, the aides and assistants left the room, shutting the heavy oak doors behind them with an authoritative thump. The sound never failed to make Orlando think of bad action films with secret cabals that met in basements of mansions, plotting the takeover of the world. Although, he supposed, the Council was sort of like a cabal. Only, not secret, and they didn't have to plot to take over anything.
Orlando stood off to the side - as the assistant to the Head of the Council, he was allowed to sit in on certain meetings, which still freaked him out when he thought too much about it - and watched roll call, then dropped into one of the chairs by the far wall and opened his folder. Seven people petitioning for the Gift, and one of Orlando's jobs (which had been a total shock when Dave had explained it to him) was to carefully go through the vetting process of each candidate and create profiles that would then be presented to the Council before the vote. This was his first time up to the plate, so to speak, and he wanted to make sure everything was beyond reproach. The fate of these people depended on it.
The door beside him opened soundlessly and Miranda glided in, perfectly put together, not a single hair out of place. She was the single most organized person Orlando had ever met. And a little terrifying in that she could recall everything - her memory was perfect. But she ran the Council with ruthless efficiency and a smile, a bitch on wheels in sensible pumps and conservative dresses, and Orlando knew the place would be lost without her.
//Here.// She handed him a sheaf of papers, and sat beside him. //Nervous?//
"A little," Orlando replied, careful to pitch his voice so as not to disrupt anyone at the table. "First time and all."
//You get used to it.// She settled back in her seat. As Orlando looked over the new papers, she reached over and pointed at one line of text.
Fuck.
He quickly flipped through the papers again, then shook his head. Even though the vote could always go either way after discussion, Orlando knew there was no way this one was going to get approved. He now understood why Dave had said this part of the job sucked.
//Just remember that it's not your fault.// When he looked over again, Miranda offered an understanding smile. //Dave blamed himself in the beginning, too. But, if your research wasn't thorough, someone would slip through the cracks, and that's just not an acceptable risk.//
"I know," he whispered, eyes darting to the table where a heated discussion was playing out. "I just...it sucks, y'know?"
//Not everyone is meant for this life.// She patted his hand, stood. //You'll be fine. Just remember to breathe and speak clearly. Gina appreciates perfect elocution.//
"Thanks." Miranda left the room as silently and gracefully as she'd entered, and Orlando spent a moment inhaling and exhaling. The topic at the table was now concerning some trade agreement with the new government that had taken over Nigeria - pretty standard, from what Orlando could see - with Richard and Michelle mostly leading the discussion. Frankly, Orlando was surprised that Marcus hadn't found a way to offer his two cents yet, but maybe he was saving himself for the Gift vetting process.
//Child, really, he's a Senior Council member. Some respect for his position, if nothing else, would be welcome.//
Orlando glanced up from his notes to find Viggo giving him a pointed look. Fuck. He really was going to have to learn to temper his thoughts better around Viggo - which was pretty much impossible, but still. He settled for glaring back and making a concerted effort at going back to his notes.
***
It was another two hours before Orlando was asked to speak. He gave himself another steadying breath as Viggo called upon him to present his findings to the Council, and stood. He could do this. It helped that both Harry and Karl both gave him encouraging nods and sent the same encouragement through their bonds. Things weren't remotely even close to being perfect between them yet, but he knew he had their support in this, and that was enough for now.
"So, as you can see on your notes, there are seven applicants who've requested the Gift," he began, and did his best to take Miranda's advice. Just give the information on each person and let the process happen as it should. Still, it was hard not to feel something for these people whose lives and futures were entirely dependent upon the thirteen people in this room.
The first two applicants went smoothly. Orlando presented the information on each person, the Council members conducted a brief discussion, and then the candidate was led in to hear their fate. Orlando listened closely to the discussion, trying to get a feel for what each individual member looked for and thought important. It varied widely. But no matter, both were given approval and Orlando couldn't help the twinge of jealousy that shot through him with each yes vote.
Then it was time for the third candidate.
Orlando took a deep breath and started to recite the information. He didn't make it halfway through before Marcus (of course it was Marcus) interrupted.
"You do realize the psych profile contradicts itself."
Orlando tried to keep his face expressionless. "It does," he admitted, clasping his hands behind his back to hide his nervousness. "But if you'll flip to the back of that report, you'll see an addendum. We had to do some last minute digging, but there are indications of, ah, mental instability in the family through the maternal line. At least one female in each generation -"
"Is completely cuckoo for cocoa puffs," Sung said, and Aishwarya snorted out a laugh. Orlando had to bite his lip to keep from laughing himself. Trust Sung to break the ice and keep things irreverent.
"If sanity was a prerequisite, our population would be cut in half," Sean said, with a surreptitious wink for Orlando. "However, I am worried about her uncles..."
"Agreed," Harry nodded. "While I have no problem with her personally - she seemed lovely in my interview with her - I do worry that her uncles might try to press her into doing some work for them as a family favor."
Gina tapped the folder. "And given how much family means to her, she might feel she has no choice. And a vampire doing drug cartel dirty work...that's not something we can afford."
Orlando listened to the arguments with growing dismay. He hadn't even considered that a candidate could be rejected for having a shady family. Before getting this job, he'd never thought about all of the socio and political and moral implications that had to be taken into account before giving anyone the Gift, had naïvely thought that it was really up to the vampire and the mortal, and the vote was merely a formality.
"I don't need any more discussion," Eva said, looking around the table as a few others nodded. "With no guarantee that she could refuse family requests, my vote is no."
"I have to agree," Marcus said, closing the folder. "I would be hesitant to vote yes based on the psych profile alone. We don't need someone having a potential psychotic break with our powers and abilities. Add to that the family issues, and it's a definite no from me."
"I think we've heard everything we need," Viggo said, resting his hand on the report. "All in favor?"
Orlando looked around the table, not surprised when no hands went up. There was no need for Viggo to ask for those opposed. Orlando swallowed hard and bowed to the Council, then moved to the door to admit the woman and her sponsor.
After that round (which went well, all things considered, Orlando thought, even though he didn't have a basis for comparison), the rest of the votes went just as smoothly. The Council approved one more and rejected the others - one because the vampire wasn't 'mature enough' (as Gerry had put it) to sire a fledgling yet, one due to the health of the mortal in question (too fragile to survive the process according to extensive medical records), and the last because both Karl and Aishwarya hadn't liked the mortal during his interview process. Orlando took notes, paid attention to both the vampires and mortals during the rejections (on Viggo's orders, although he wasn't quite sure why), and generally tried to soak in the entire process like a sponge.
The meeting was adjourned shortly after, and Sean beckoned him over to where he and Harry and Karl were sitting as soon as the doors opened and the all clear was given. Orlando looked at him for a second, then shook his head. He didn't want to impose, especially not when the subject of the Gift nomination process was bound to come up. Hell would freeze over before he would give Harry any reason to think he was trying to pressure Harry on this matter.
He watched as Sean said something to Karl, too low for Orlando to hear, then Karl frowned and made his own beckoning motion.
Harry, however, never even lifted his head from the papers in his hand. Fuck.
After a quick look at Viggo to make sure he wasn't needed (Viggo was deep in conversation with Gerry), Orlando walked over and stood before them.
"How're you holding up?" Sean asked after a brief look towards Harry.
"I'm good," Orlando said, frowning at the toes of his shoes. It looked like one of them had a scuff. He shifted his foot. No, just a shadow. Then he realized no one had said anything. Looking up, he found Karl and Sean watching him closely. "I guess I just don't quite understand how some of you come to your decisions."
"Call it intuition," Karl said. "Sometimes, you just know that giving the Gift to someone would be a very bad idea."
"And sometimes," Sean added, "you know the sponsor couldn't find their way out of a paper bag if someone turned it upside down and shook it."
Orlando glanced at Harry, who had yet to say a word. He opened his mouth, then closed it as Viggo joined them.
"Your first lesson," Viggo said, his expression unreadable. "Why were you told to pay special attention to the rejected candidates and their sponsors?"
"Um..." Orlando looked back down at his shoes, mind whirling as he tried to come up with the answer. It had to be something simple, something he could figure out on his own. Suddenly, something Marcus had said during the last rejection clicked. "Because there's always the chance the sponsor could go rogue or the candidate could convince them to go rogue, and they'd be given the Gift anyway, and something they do or say during the rejection could be a clue?"
"Very good. And the other reason?"
Orlando didn't dare look to anyone else for help. He knew he was on his own for this one. "Because the candidates might decide to seek revenge against the Council, so we need to pay attention to how they act?"
"Two for two. I'm impressed." Orlando had a feeling that he'd passed an important test when Viggo gave him an approving nod. "How are you holding up? I know the first time being part of the process is a lot to handle."
"Good." Orlando darted a quick look to Harry, who was now just staring calmly at him, like what they were discussing was no more important than the trade agreement earlier. It was really disconcerting. "I mean, I guess I never realized just how complicated it all was until now, but I'm handling it."
"Just remember, you and Harry are the only two vampires ever given the Gift and allowed to keep it without a full Council vote," Viggo said. "These laws have been in place for thousands of years, and serve to protect both ourselves and mortals."
"Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be so lucky the second time around," Orlando said, refusing to look at anyone but Viggo.
"No," Viggo replied, giving Harry a thoughtful look, "I'd say not. Observations on the rejections?"
Jesus, nothing like being put on the spot in front of Harry. Orlando supposed he should be thankful that Marcus wasn't part of the group. "Well...the two women were disappointed and so was the one guy, but, um, the other guy...the one Karl and Aishwarya had issues with...he was pissed. Really pissed. I'd have someone watch him for awhile if I were you."
The second the words were out of his mouth, Orlando felt the blood drain from his face, and he stared at a spot just past Viggo's ear. Giving unsolicited advice to the head of the Council? Wonderful. Very mature.
"Is that your recommendation as my aide?" Viggo asked mildly, but Orlando could hear the slight emphasis Viggo placed on the last word and winced.
"Yes, I mean, yessir. That's my recommendation," Orlando replied, keeping his voice as businesslike as possible.
"Very well. I trust you to see to the details. Gentlemen." With that, Viggo nodded and strode out the door.
Orlando just let out a weak breath. "Anyone ever tell him how scary he gets when he's in full-on Viggo mode?"
Sean chuckled. "That's why he does it. Fear's a useful tool in our line of work. A little intimidation goes a long way in certain situations."
"Or a lot of intimidation in some cases," Karl added.
Sean leaned across Karl, frowning. "You're awfully quiet, Harry."
"Am I?"
"You've barely said a word since Orlando walked over." Sean glanced back and forth between the both of them, sharp green eyes missing nothing. "Is everything alright between you two?"
"It's fine," Orlando quickly replied, before Harry could even open his mouth. The very last thing he wanted was Sean thinking that Orlando was unhappy. He and Harry had enough to deal with right now.
Karl hadn't moved, but Orlando could tell he was watching both of them closely. Harry just cast him a speculative look. "Are you fine?" he asked, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Watching this can't have been easy for you, given the circumstances."
Orlando held Harry's gaze. He could feel the others watching him, but he refused to look at them. "This is just a part of my job. Nothing that happened tonight has anything to do with me."
//Would you tell me if you weren't fine?//
Orlando could only manage a small nod. He wanted to assure Harry that he really had changed, but he knew nothing he could say would mean anything. He'd have to prove himself.
He just wished he knew how to go about doing it.
//Alright.// The look in Harry's eyes softened. //Just remember, I am here for you, even if you don't think I'll like what you have to say. I value your honesty more than your acquiescence.//
//I know.// Orlando held his gaze for another moment, then glanced at Sean and Karl. "As much fun as this is -"
"Were we having fun?" Sean asked Karl, who just shrugged.
"- I've got a few reports on my desk that I need to take care of," Orlando finished, ignoring Sean's comment. Best not to let him get started. "So if you'll excuse me..."
"Will you be home late?" Karl asked.
"Depends on how involved the reports are." He hesitated for a second, then bent to brush a kiss across Karl's cheek. "Let's just say I'll be home later, and I'll let you know if it's going to be much later."
A quick glance at Harry showed he was still had that same calm, unreadable look on his face. So Orlando bit his lip, then nodded at Harry before starting towards the door. But if his fingertips trailed briefly across the smooth skin of Harry's nape, snarling for just a second in the tie that held his hair back, Orlando figured no one would blame him.
***
An hour later, he was knee-deep in spread sheets and roundly cursing an error in the formulas that meant he'd have to redo at least two reports (he was also ready to kill the inflexible moron that had invented Excel, but that was another matter), when Sean strolled into his office and shut the door behind him.
Orlando simply blinked as Sean sank onto the chair opposite his desk and folded his hands over his lap, looking for all the world like he was settling in for the duration. "Uh, did you need something?"
"Not really. I thought you might want to talk."
"Talk?" Orlando's mind went blank. "Talk about what?" His head was still swimming with numbers.
Sean's eyebrows quirked upwards. "Whatever's going on with you and Harry and Karl. I take it that it hasn't been all sunshine and roses since you got back from London."
The numbers vanished from his head like a popped soap bubble. "Everything is, y'know, fine," he finally managed, trying not to wince as his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "It's just that I was gone for a long time, and um, we're, y'know working things...reconnect..."
He trailed off as Sean just sat there, patient and silent.
"You're not buying this, are you," Orlando sighed, and it wasn't a question. He closed his laptop. The spread sheets would have to wait, because there was no way he was getting any more work done. May as well call it a night and head home. He glanced over to find Sean still watching him.
Bloody fucking vampires.
Orlando cleared his throat again, looked out his office window at the bright lights of L.A. sprawled out below them. "I'm sleeping in one of the guest rooms," he quietly said, knowing the words didn't need any elaboration, "in the west wing."
"I see," Sean said slowly, but he didn't sound surprised. "And how are you dealing with that?"
"Um..." What the hell was he supposed to say here? That he was lonely as hell and going crazy with the lack of physical contact? That he wasn't entirely sure when (or if) things were going to get back to normal or if Harry would ever forgive him or if Karl would ever forgive him or how he was going to go about proving himself when they weren't really offering him any clues? That there was still a distance that he had no idea how to bridge?
Some of Orlando's turmoil must have shown on his face because Sean's face softened in sympathy. "It won't be forever, child."
Orlando swallowed around the lump in his throat. "It was for Joaquin," he whispered. "It's been centuries and neither Karl nor Harry have forgiven him yet. What if I'm like that?"
Sean grimaced. "You always go for the hard example. It's got to be a gift."
"Ha," Orlando muttered. He rubbed a hand over his face and looked back out the window. The view hadn't changed - it was still as gorgeous and breath-taking as ever. But he couldn't appreciate it. "That's not an answer, though."
"I know." Sean sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "All I can say is that he was never bonded to either of them. That tips the scales significantly in your favor."
"Maybe." Orlando was reluctant to admit Sean might be right. After all, it wasn't like Sean had to live in a silent house where people barely looked at him and never fucking touched him. And he'd honestly thought, after their talk in London, that maybe... He should have known better. They'd both said it wasn't going to be that easy.
Tipping his seat back, he stared at the ceiling until his eyes started to water. "How's Dom?"
"He's good. Which you'd know if you'd ever actually accept any of his invitations for an evening out. Don't think he hasn't realized you're avoiding him. Right now, he's not sure if it's because you slept with each other or because of whatever's wrong between you and Harry and Karl, but heaven help you once he decides one way or the other."
"I'm not avoiding him, I just...don't want to go out clubbing with him. He's come over to the house several times."
Sean made his name a warning. "Orlando..."
"What do you want me to say?" He winced at how defensive he sounded. "I just said I wasn't avoiding him."
"Why don't you want to go out with him?"
"It's gonna sound stupid."
"Try me."
What the hell. It wasn't like he could possibly embarrass himself more than he already had. "I don't want to go out with anyone, not just Dom," he said. "What if I meet someone I want to take home...I mean, fuck, can you imagine how well that'll go over right now with Harry and Karl? I'm not going to give them a reason to think I'm not serious about patching things up with them."
Sean pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know this isn't about sex..."
"Duh. How can it be about something that's not even happening?"
"That's not what I meant. Harry and Karl know what a physical person you are," Sean said. "I'm sure they're not going to expect you to abstain from sex with anyone else simply because you're not having sex with them. They're not abstaining from sex, unless something very odd is going on that I don't know about."
"I wouldn't know," Orlando said, then stopped to take a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry. I just...I guess I'm a little stressed right now, but I'm not trying to take it out on you. And it's got nothing to do with Dom, okay, but I don't want to be tempted. And if I go out -"
"You're afraid you will be," Sean said. "And worse, that you'll act on it. Not to repeat myself, but they won't -"
"Don't," Orlando said, quietly. "Don't tell me they won't think anything of it, because they will. Maybe not consciously, and maybe they won't ever say anything, but it'll be there, deep down. And maybe I'm wrong, but my gut tells me that pulling someone right now would be a very bad idea. A very bad idea, because I may not have made an ounce of progress in the last few months, but static is better than going backwards, right?"
"Not really," Sean replied. "Not if it means you're afraid to have an honest conversation with them. Isn't that what caused all of your problems with them in the first place?"
"I know," Orlando groaned, slumping back into his seat. "I know, alright, but I can't...I can't risk it. I can't lose them, Sean, I just can't."
"Then talk to them." Sean reached across the desk to place his hand over Orlando's. "They love you and they wouldn't have gone after you if they weren't interested in making things right. It's past time for the three of you to have an honest assessment on where things stand right now and the next steps you all need to make to go forward."
Orlando looked at Sean's hand covering his for a moment, then sighed. "It's not that simple. I don't even know which direction is forward, and they're giving me no clues at all. Maybe I should ask for a progress report."
"Maybe you should."
"Sean..." Orlando trailed off as he looked at Sean. Something in his expression made Orlando stop for just a moment. "Are you serious?"
"As a blood transfusion."
Orlando wondered if that was the vampire equivalent of a heart attack. "You seriously want me to, I dunno, march into their room and ask them to tell me how I'm doing?"
"Well, you don't have to march," Sean offered, with a sly grin. "But yes, that's exactly what I want you to do. More importantly, that's exactly what you should do. It's your life, too, you know. And you have every right to know if they need something from you that you're not currently providing."
"You do realize how insane that sounds, yes?" Just the idea of it was enough to chill Orlando's blood. But it also spoke volumes about the situation that he was honestly considering it. He was going as batty as the rest of them.
"Don't misunderstand me. Harry and Karl have every right to take as much time as they need to forgive you or whatever it is they're doing, but they also have an obligation to talk it over with you. And you have a right to have all of the information you need to make an informed decision about what you want."
"That's simple," Orlando replied. "I just want them back. Whatever it takes. I want things...to be like they were, I guess."
"You know that's impossible," Sean said. "But they just might be better."
"They can't be any worse," Orlando mumbled. He had no doubt that Sean heard him, then wondered if he looked as pathetic as he felt just then.
"So," Sean said, after a long moment of silence. "Whatever it takes?"
Orlando just nodded.
"And what if whatever it takes means giving up the fangs?"
"I...what?" Orlando stared, not comprehending the question for a long moment. "That's...that's not funny."
"It isn't meant to be. I'm simply trying to determine just how serious you are. Because I can guarantee you that Harry and Karl will do the same."
It had to be a trick question. Suddenly, he wondered if maybe Sean knew something he wasn't saying. He wanted to ask, but he swallowed the words. The last thing he was going to do was ask someone else for insight on his relationships.
Giving up the fangs. He'd already done that, but he knew Sean meant giving up the possibility of getting them again. And that possibility...
Orlando looked down, focused on the heavy signet ring on his left hand. "If that's what it takes, then I suppose I'll remain a pet for the rest of my life. However long that ends up being."
"It would still be centuries, you know." When Orlando looked up, it was to find Sean looking at him with a sympathetic expression. "And since you have a double pet bond, who knows how much longer you'll live and how much more slowly you'll age."
Orlando thought about Dom, still so young and vibrant looking - even though he was well over a century old - and nodded. "Do you..." He faltered, but forced himself to ask the question. "Do you think Harry's changed his mind? Is that why you're asking?"
"Not that he's told me," Sean answered. "He hasn't even hinted at it. But I know the push and pull over it has been an issue between you."
"Understatement."
"Tell him what you told me," Sean urged. "Take the issue off the table so he can't use it as an excuse. Whatever went wrong with the three of you isn't about the Gift, so don't let them get sidetracked on it."
"You want me to bring up the issue of the Gift with him. The last bloody thing I need to do is mention that, because -"
"I'm not suggesting you discuss the Gift itself with him. I'm merely saying that if he believes you're willing to withdraw your request, then it's no longer an issue. And it can no longer be used to avoid discussing the actual problem."
"You act as if they'll actually talk to me," he said, then stopped. Sean didn't need to hear the gory details. "Okay, I'll give it a shot."
"That's all I'm asking. And they will talk to you," Sean added. "You just haven't always liked what they've had to say."
Orlando really hated it when Sean had a point, but now...it was different. Everything was different. "I hope you're right about them talking to me."
"Go home," Sean said, gently. "Sit them both down and have an honest conversation. And if they start to shut you out or behave like the Eternal Idiots they are, call them out on it instead of retreating. You have to start treating them as your equals and get them off this pedestal you've put them on."
Orlando instinctually bristled. "I don't -"
"Please don't insult my intelligence by denying it. But I can tell you now that's the main thing that's holding you back from getting to where you need to be with them - deep down, you don't think you have the right to be there in the first place."
"I got lucky that night in the club," Orlando said, with a soft smile. "If I'd seen the two of them together before all of this?"
"You would have never approached either of them."
"Not in a million years. Plus, I doubt either of them would have even noticed me if they'd been with each other. You know how they are."
"I don't think that's true at all. I may not have been there the night you met Karl, but I remember the ceremony, and I remember the moment the bond clicked between the two of you." Then his grin got wide and a little wicked. "And I definitely remember the bond clicking between you and Harry that night, even if none of us knew what it was at the time."
Orlando chewed his lip. Maybe that was where everything had gone off the rails. All those years ago. Then he shook his head. It wasn't like he could go back in time and change things. And even if he could, he wouldn't. Not if it meant losing Karl. But sometimes... "You know, there are times when I'm jealous as hell of you and Dom."
"I'm not surprised. You barely had Karl to yourself before you were confronted with Harry, and you've always known that Harry would never be fully yours. Dom and I may have fun with other people, but we've both known from the moment we met that we would always come first with the other. You've never had that."
"No. And I never will. I know how lucky I am to have the both of them, and I wouldn't change things, but sometimes...I look at you and Dom or Dave and Lawrence..."
Sean got up and crossed to the desk. "C'mere," he said, and pulled Orlando up into his arms. Orlando didn't even try to fight it - he was just grateful that Sean knew him well enough to know he needed a hug.
"It's alright." Sean brushed a kiss to his forehead. "You're allowed to want someone for yourself, you know. You're allowed to want either one of them to yourself. You don't think Monica's felt the same way at times about Harry or Josh about Karl? You're not alone."
"You know that doesn't make me feel better, right?" Orlando buried his face in the curve of Sean's neck and held tight, ridiculously grateful for this small bit of physical affection.
"Perhaps not, but it can't hurt to know there are others who understand exactly how you feel."
"But, I shouldn't feel this way," Orlando muttered. "I've known almost from the beginning how it was going to be. I just...I'm never going to have that someone just for me."
Gentle fingers tipped his chin up until Orlando was looking in Sean's eyes. "Never is a very long time. And I've no doubt that there is someone out there. Even if they haven't been born yet. Don't stop living your life because you're trying to make them happy."
Orlando just nodded, because he couldn't think of anything to say. It was like his brain had overloaded and shut down.
"Talk to them," Sean said. "Take the issue of the Gift off the table and go from there. And if they're still unwilling to treat you as a pet should be treated, simply remind them that there's an entire world out there that would be thrilled to have a little of your time."
"I hardly think threatening them -"
"Not a threat. Just an assurance that you have a lot to offer the right person, and if they're not interested in being the right persons for you, you're not going to sit in a corner pining for them."
"Even if it's a lie?"
Sean dropped a quick kiss to Orlando's lips. "Especially if it's a lie. Take a page from their book if you need to. It would do them good."
"I know." Orlando dropped his head back to Sean's shoulder. "It's just convincing myself to actually do it. But I will, I promise. I mean, you're right. We can't continue on like this."
"No you can't. And maybe you'll rediscover the Orlando we've known the last decade - the fearless one with enough energy and spirit to burn."
Orlando let out a quiet laugh. "But I'm not that Orlando anymore. I gave it up for something that might not even happen."
"No," Sean corrected, "you gave up the fangs, not the man you were. He's still in there somewhere - you just need to rediscover him."
"I don't think that man was ever real."
"He was. And I've seen him recently," Sean said, as he guided Orlando to a chair in front of the desk.
"You have?"
"Dom has, too," Sean said, smiling. "That night in my house."
"I..." Orlando stopped, frowning.
Sean crouched in front of Orlando, catching Orlando's hands in his. "When you vamped out on Dom, and then when you left the room with Aubrey. You were scared as hell, but you were also curious, and you weren't going to let the fear rule you. All you need to do is find that Orlando again and unleash him on Harry and Karl."
Orlando snorted. "So they can have me for breakfast?"
"I think you'll be surprised at the reaction."
"I don't think this is a problem that's going to be solved with sex."
"This isn't about sex. It's about fear." Sean moved to the chair next to him, but kept his hand on top of Orlando's. "You made a major mistake in running, and they were right to take you to task for it. Frankly, if Dom had done what you'd done, I wouldn't have come after him at all."
Okay, wow, that was...enlightening. "Really?"
"Really," Sean nodded. "You broke their trust in you by shutting them out, and that's not an easy thing to forgive. But tiptoeing around them and being afraid to speak up isn't the solution."
"And what if it can't be fixed?" Orlando whispered, giving voice to his worst fear. "What if I fucked it up beyond repair?"
"You're not Joaquin," Sean soothed, "and I promise you that you didn't fuck anything up beyond repair. They wouldn't have come after you if you had."
Orlando nodded, and picked at a stray bit of thread on his trousers. He didn't look up. "Harry didn't want to. Come, I mean. Karl had to pretty much force him to get on the plane."
"You've been around long enough to know that God himself couldn't force Harry to do something he didn't want to do. Harry wanted to come - he just needed a push. And Karl, as he normally does, provided it. You'll be fine, I promise. They're not going to abandon you, not over this."
"Maybe not," Orlando admitted, "but they can make my life miserable for a really long time."
"They can. But they won't. Trust me when I say that you being miserable - or happy or sad or hurt or scared - is going to affect them."
"They can block me out," Orlando said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It wasn't like he was telling Sean anything that Sean didn't already know.
"True," Sean said, but he was smiling like he knew something Orlando didn't. "But I don't suppose anyone ever bothered to tell you that the pet bond is unique in one way. They can block you, yes, but they will always be able to tell when you're in distress or feeling something very strongly. Even if you're on the other side of the world. Not even an iunctum bond or a Sire/fledgling bond can do that, not if one person is actively blocking it. It's why Liv and Gerard have never been able to find Joaquin."
Orlando opened his mouth, then closed it. Just like that, he remembered the first time he was ever alone with Harry and the way Karl had come charging in, thinking Orlando was in trouble. Maybe Sean had a point. "Okay," he said, slowly, "I can see that. Sort of."
"It's part of the bond. And part of the protection a vampire provides for their pet. And I'm not saying we can't ignore our pet's emotional turmoil for a time, but it does take its toll. So trust me when I tell you that they want to sort things out with you."
"Huh." Orlando couldn't think of a single other thing to say. He had no idea he had that sort of connection - that sort of power - over their well-being. Even if they were very good at hiding it.
"Keep that in mind when you're talking to them, as well," Sean advised. "And remember to actually listen to what they're saying, instead of reacting to what you think they might say."
Which sounded exactly like what Karl had told him back in London. Maybe it was time to listen. Orlando stared at the papers scattered across his desk. So many things he still needed to do. But all he could think about was getting out of that office. Something told him that Viggo wouldn't mind. "I need to go," he said, looking around for his keys. "I need -"
"Go." Sean snagged his keys and iPhone from the desk and pressed them into Orlando's hand. I'll take care of things here."
"I...you...thank you." Without thinking, he pulled Sean into a tight hug, then kissed him, hands framing Sean's face, keys and phone caught between them, and Orlando tried to pour everything he was feeling - all of his love and gratitude and thankfulness that Sean had sought him out - into the kiss.
Sean accepted the gift, and returned it, letting Orlando know, without words, that he felt the same. Then he brushed his lips across Orlando's one last time, and gave him a small nudge. "Go on, get. And if you need anything..."
"I know who to call," Orlando smiled. He gave Sean one last hug, the practically sprinted out of his office. He felt energized, ready to take on the world, and silently thanked Sean again. He couldn't wait to get home to Harry and Karl and clear the air, and hopefully - God, hopefully - make some real progress in getting them all back where they belonged.
***