FIC: "Return To Normal" 1/2 (Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Orlando Bloom) R

[azewewish]

Title: "Return to Normal" 1/2
Authors: Brenda & Jo (azewewish & idiosyncratic)
Featuring: Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Orlando Bloom (Cooper, Aubrey)
Rating: R (language)
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And Josh and Orlando aren't pets.
Summary: Orlando comes home, Josh makes lunch, and his place really isn't Grand Central Station. Takes place a few days after Coming To Terms.



Josh was in the kitchen fixing lunch - a new salmon and pasta recipe that he'd been dying to try - when he heard a knock on the door. A quick glance out the window showed no car in the driveway, which narrowed down the list of possibilities. No car meant it wasn't Aubrey or someone else from the band, or any of his other friends.

Someone from the castle, then, and given that it was mid-day, it was too early for Karl and Harry. Which also ruled out the possibility of it being Sean dropping by to check on the soundproofing they'd finally installed in the studio room last week. Maybe Lij or Dom, then, dropping off something they'd borrowed (but he figured it would be snowing in Hell before that happened without him hounding them for ages) or just wanting to hang out since the brat was still MIA.

Grabbing a towel for his hands, Josh started for the living room, hearing another brisk knock. "I'm coming!"

When he opened the door, his jaw dropped. Speaking of the fucking devil...

"You're back."

"Yeah," Orlando said, with a small smile. "Got back early this morning. Can I, um, come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

He took a good look at Orlando as Orlando stepped past him. Hair loosely pulled back, faded jeans, flip flops, and a Hello Kitty t-shirt (and honestly, Orlando was the only guy that Josh knew that would wear one of those and practically dare people to say something). Then Orlando stopped and turned, meeting Josh's gaze, and there was something different in his eyes.

"I'll make this quick since I'm sure I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but I came to apologize for running off like I did, because I know it caused all sorts of shit that you had to deal with, and I'm sorry for that."

This was definitely not how he'd envisioned this reunion (or whatever this was) going. Josh was so not prepared to deal with this. "I need a drink," he stated, and turned to head to the kitchen. Was it too early for beer? It was lunchtime, right, people drank beer at lunch.

He poked his head in the fridge, wishing he had something stronger than Corona, and fished one out. "You want anything?" he asked, flipping off the cap.

Orlando leaned against the island, hands shoved in his pockets. "I'm cool, thanks."

"Okay." He took a first bracing sip, then settled back against the counter. Kept his eyes on Orlando. He was going to be calm about this if it killed him. "So...I guess this answers the question of where Karl and Harry disappeared off to the last few days. I was beginning to think you'd moved to London permanently."

Okay, maybe not so calm. But fuck it, he was sick to death of Orlando wreaking havoc and leaving everyone behind to deal with the emotional fallout.

Orlando exhaled slowly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I never planned on moving to London. I just...I had a lot of thinking to do."

"And you couldn't do that here?"

"No, not really. And I only meant to be there for a week, maybe two. I thought for sure Harry'd come after me. But he never did, and before I knew it, a few months had passed, and...."

"What are you, a runaway teenage girl who needs her daddy to prove he loves her?"

Orlando's lips flattened to a thin line. "I didn't come here to be insulted."

"Well, too fucking bad, because, really, how old are you?" Josh stopped himself before he went further, forced himself to take a deep breath. It wasn't going to do anyone any good if he just went off all half-cocked and pissed. He was angry and hurt, sure, but Orlando was here. He'd apologized. He'd made the first step. Josh needed to remember that. "Sorry. Well, not sorry sorry, but I don't wanna yell at you. I don't think. But, seriously, do you know how that sounds?"

"Yeah, I do, believe me, I heard all about it from Harry and Karl," Orlando replied, and he looked as if he could still hear the echoes of whatever it was they'd said to him. It was low of Josh, but he really hoped Orlando'd gotten an earful. "I thought...well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I fucked up."

"No, it does. Matter, I mean. I saw you that morning, remember, I know how screwed up your head was," Josh reminded him. "So what the hell did Karl and Harry say to you in my living room that day that made you think running to London and staying there was your only option?"

"They didn't say anything."

"What?" That didn't sound right at all, especially considering Karl's not so subtle questions about that night. Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You didn't tell them."

"I did. Sort of." Orlando at least had the grace to look embarrassed. "I told them something happened, just not what. And, um, I couldn't talk to them about it. Not then. Not 'til I figured it out for myself."

"And you had to run off to Dave to do that?"

"No...yes...maybe, I don't know. I just...I needed him right then. He knows me in a way no one else, not even Lij, does. I think Harry and Karl would've just confused me more."

Josh frowned. "Look, are you sure you made the right decision in breaking your bond with Dave? Because if you're running to him..."

"You sound like them again."

"Well, maybe we all have a point." Sure, Josh had his childhood best friend who knew everything there was to know about him, shit he'd never told anyone else, but there was no way he'd just up and run back to Minnesota to pour his heart out to Greg and not tell Karl about it, too. No way.

"I didn't make a mistake," Orlando replied, stressing each word. "I love Karl and I love Harry and I want Harry to be my Sire when he's ready, I just... Dave doesn't expect anything from me. I've never felt like I had to earn his approval."

And okay, maybe Josh could understand that, at least a little. He'd witnessed firsthand the look in Karl's eyes when he was disappointed, and it wasn't an experience he was dying to repeat anytime soon. But still... "You running off didn't help your cause. Karl was pretty fucked up about it. Not that he said anything out loud, but I could tell."

"I know," Orlando said, quietly, and the look in his eyes was devastating. It took the edge off of Josh's anger. "I hurt them both, and that's on me. But it's between me and them, and we're working on it."

"Good. I'm glad," Josh added, secretly hoping they made him jump through at least one or two hoops before completely forgiving him. "Apology accepted, then, and, uh, thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's been building up awhile."

"I could tell."

"But you know I'm not the only one you need to apologize to, right?"

Orlando nodded, then sighed. "I don't suppose you know how upset Dom is, do you?"

"Well, he hasn't, I dunno, unfriended you on Facebook or anything, but I think you shutting him out hasn't been sitting well with him."

"No, I don't imagine it is," Orlando quietly said. "I'll give him a call later."

"Probably a good thing," Josh replied. Orlando'd made that first step. The least Josh could do was make the second. "You hungry? Because I was in the middle of making lunch, and there's going to be plenty."

Orlando perked up, then tried to hide it. "What're you having?"

"Pan-seared salmon with pasta and a spinach cream sauce." Josh grinned at Orlando's expression. "It's a new recipe I'm trying out."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Orlando said, failing miserably at trying to play it cool. It was almost enough to make Josh laugh. "You, um, need any help?"

"Yeah, you can chop the parsley." Josh pointed at the parsley already laid on the cutting board before pulling out the pan to cook the salmon. "You know, you're going to have to talk to her, too."

The sound of the knife against the board paused, then resumed. "I know," Orlando said. "And I'm going to. Just as soon as I, y'know, figure out what to say to her. And before you say anything, I know I bollocksed that up beyond repair."

Josh transferred the fish to the pan, then glanced up. "Wait, were you wanting to, uh, see her again? I mean, romantically?"

"No. I mean, she was awesome and, uh, y'know, it was..." Orlando made a vague waving motion. Josh was glad he was out of the way of the knife. "Anyway, she was great and I'm grateful to her, but I think the last thing I need is another complication."

"Now you sound like you learned something while you were gone," Josh grinned, even though he was happy to hear it. He didn't want to imagine the weird can of worms that would have been opened if Orlando'd wanted to pursue a relationship with Aubrey.

"I did," Orlando nodded. "I need to focus on Harry and Karl. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with her."

"Best advice I can offer you is to be honest and open. It's not like you promised her a ring or declared your undying love to her or anything...you didn't, did you?"

Orlando snorted. "I'm not that crazy. But thanks. I'll, uh, call her too, maybe ask her out for coffee or something." Josh noted that he was taking his time, chopping the parsley with slow, even strokes of the knife. It wasn't something Josh had taught him.

Josh pulled the zester out of a drawer and handed it over, along with a large lemon. "Who taught you to chop like that?"

"Oh, um," Orlando ducked his head and focused on the lemon. "Yas, did. Yasmine, I mean. She's, um, a girl Dave and I met. In London. She's with Dave and Lawrence. Yana, too."

Yas? Yana? Dave and Lawrence? What the hell? "A girl you met in London? Hold on, didn't you just say you weren't interested in complications? Do Karl and Harry know about her?"

"It's not...It's not like that." When Orlando glanced up, he was bright red. "I mean, it was like that, at least a little, but she's just a friend and so is Yana, although she wasn't -"

"Just...stop." Josh held up a hand. He checked the water to make sure it hadn't started boiling yet, then took the salmon off the pan and transferred it to a plate. "Start from the beginning, speak slowly."

"Yas, uh, Yasmine, and Aiyana, that's, uh, Yana, they're this couple Dave and I met not too long after I got to London."

"Couple, as in they're dating each other?" With Orlando, Josh knew it was always best to clarify.

"Yes. They've been together, um, a few years now. Anyway, at first, Dave and I thought they were, um -" he cleared his throat and glanced back down at the lemon zest like it was going to sprout wings " - just a bit of fun, but then we got to know them and they were really cool, and then Lawrence met them, and they really got on with him and they sort of moved in last month. With Dave and Lawrence."

It was about as convoluted and garbled as it got, but luckily, Josh was learning his way around the pretzel that was Orlando's mind. "Okay, so you and Dave picked these two chicks up for some low-key fun, but then they got a good look at the big fella and decided they wanted to climb that, and they dumped you for the hot married vamps and now you're just friends with them? Is that about it?"

Orlando's smile was endearingly sheepish. "Yeah. More or less."

"Dude," Josh laughed. "How much does it suck to be you? Please tell me they were just cute and not smokin' hot at least." Although, given what he knew of Dave and Lawrence, he wasn't betting on it.

Orlando snorted. "I wish. I've got pictures on my phone if you want to see them."

"Pictures?"

"Not like that," Orlando said, indignant. "Just, y'know, silly camera phone pictures that girls like to take."

Like Orlando hadn't taken more than his share of 'silly camera phone pictures' with Katie and Dom and even Josh himself. "Yeah, alright." He started to chunk the salmon after tossing the pasta into the now boiling water. "You can show me after we're done here."

"Yeah, I -" Orlando stopped as a knock on the door echoed through the house. "Expecting company?"

"Man, this place is turning into Grand Central," Josh muttered, wiping off his hands and heading for the door again. He opened it to find Dom standing there, hair perfectly spiked like he'd just rolled out of bed, cheeky smile firmly in place.

"I was just in the neighborhood," Dom said without preamble, strolling in like he owned the place (Josh had finally gotten used to it). "Thought I'd drop by, see if you were making...huh."

Josh turned to see Orlando standing by the kitchen door, hands shoved in his pocket, faint smile curving his mouth as he looked at Dom.

"I should belt you. You need to be belted." Dom turned to look at Josh. "Please tell me you hit him."

"I had strong words for him, does that count?"

"I hope the phrase fucking twat was used, because he is. You are," Dom stated, whirling back to Orlando. Who still hadn't moved. "Over three fucking months and not a peep out of you, you total wanker."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Orlando looked it, too. "I'm a dick, and I don't deserve you for a friend."

"Mate, I've been telling you that for over a decade." Dom wrinkled his nose, then sighed. "Tell me Harry and Karl are making you sing for your supper, since Josh seems to be a softie."

"You have no idea."

"Good," Dom nodded. "Now I feel better." He turned to Josh. "So, what's for lunch?"

"Still a shameless beggar," Orlando said, with a soft laugh.

"Shut it," Dam mock-growled, pointing a finger at Orlando. "I haven't forgiven you yet."

"No fighting in my living room," Josh joked, but kept an eye on them as he ushered them towards the kitchen. "And lunch is a new salmon and pasta dish I'm trying."

"Sounds good," Dom said. He perched on a stool at the island and propped his chin in one hand, then blatantly stared at Orlando.

"What?" Orlando said, after a moment, looking down at himself, then back up at Dom.

"Just thinking that a complete arsehole like you shouldn't look nearly as good as you do," Dom said as he made a face. "And in a bloody Hello Kitty shirt at that."

"Um, thanks?"

"Bastard," Dom said, but this time it had a fond note to it.

"I really am sorry, you know."

"As well you should be. Next time you try and pull something like that, it'll be me on your ass, and not in a way I think you'll like, so don't let there be a next time."

It was, Josh thought, a textbook perfect Dom sort of threat to make.

"I promise there won't be a next time," Orlando said, holding his hand over his heart. "I think Karl and Harry might kill me for real if I try."

"Which would be no less than you deserve," Dom said, and Josh half-listened to the two of them, let the familiar cadence of their voices fade into the background as he sautéed the spinach and added the cream and lemon zest to it.

Then he heard another knock on the door. "Jesus fuck," he said, throwing up his hands and pulling the sauce from the burner.

"I'll get it," Orlando offered, but Josh waved him back.

"No, it's cool." He grumbled all the way to the door, then yanked it open to find Elijah standing there with his hand raised to knock again.

"Um, is this a bad time?"

"No," Josh sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he flashed a smile. "Come in, lunch is almost ready, Dom's here and Orlando's back, make yourself at home."

He definitely needed another drink.

Elijah blinked. "Did you say Orlando's back?"

"Mmhmm. Back and in the kitchen catching up with Dom. And if you're thinking about kicking his ass, I'll warn you now, the line to do it is a pretty long one, so you might have to wait awhile," Josh said, motioning Elijah to follow him.

Dom and Orlando both popped their heads up when Josh came into view, and Orlando's eyes grew comically wide when he spotted Elijah. Josh went straight to the fridge for another Corona.

He straightened and turned just as Elijah walked up to Orlando and smacked him across the back of his head. "You fucking asshole," Elijah snapped, delivering another smack. "How dare you just fucking waltz back in here and act like nothing's fucking happened after vanishing for over three fucking months without a fucking word to anyone? I ought to -"

"Easy, mate." Dom practically launched himself off the stool and wrapped his arms around Elijah in an effort to get him away from Orlando (who looked like he was trying to hide). Josh just leaned against the counter and laughed. So much for waiting in line. "Give him a chance to answer before you knock him out."

"You're not pissed?" Elijah craned his head around, gaping at Dom.

"Oh, I'm pissed," Dom said, mildly, "and I reckon I've got a better reason to be pissed than you, but the important thing is that he's home safe."

"Lij, I'm sorry! I fucked up, I know, okay," Orlando said, dodging as Elijah's hand came at him again. "Would you stop?"

Elijah managed to get one more hit in, then stepped back, glaring his very best glare of doom, arms crossed. "Stop whining, you big baby, I barely hit you."

"Fuck that, I think you've been working out or something." Orlando rubbed at the back of his head. "I said I was sorry."

"You're always sorry!" Elijah threw his hands up. "The only reason I knew you weren't dead is because of Karl. You didn't answer a single text or call or -"

"I'm a grade A arse," Orlando said, interrupting quietly. "A selfish bint who deserves to be battered black and blue, and I get it. I'd be pissed too. But I'm back now."

Elijah's eyes narrowed. "How long've you been back?"

"Three hours, I think, give or take. I was gonna call you later today after you got off work, I promise." Then Orlando frowned. "And why aren't you at work?"

"Stop avoiding the issue. You're a total asshole and I don't know why I'm still even friends with you."

"Because you love me?"

"Hmph," Elijah grumbled, then let out a long breath. "Could you at least tell me why you dropped off the map? These two idiots haven't told me shit, just that you needed some time away from L.A."

"I, ah...they didn't?"

"It wasn't our story to tell," Josh said.

"Huh. Well, um..."

"Just tell him, Orli," Dom urged, softly, resting one hand on Orlando's shoulder.

"I did need time away," Orlando said, focusing on his hands, and Josh felt for him, because there was no way this was an easy confession. Especially not to your best friend of almost 20 years. "I, um, I slept with Aubrey that night after we left the club and, um, I freaked out. A lot."

"You WHAT?!"

"Can we talk about this later? Please?"

Elijah turned his stunned gaze to Dom, then Josh. "You two knew about this and I didn't?"

"Uh, well, Dom was sort of there at the time, and I was there for the morning after," Josh shrugged, hoping that Elijah wasn't going to stroke out in his kitchen. Because he really didn't want to have to explain that to Christina. They'd been hanging out a fair amount lately, and he liked her. "It wasn't like Orlando ran to us and not you. He didn't even let Karl or Harry know."

"Shocking," Elijah muttered, sarcasm fairly dripping from the word. "You do something crazy that freaks you out and instead of talking about it, you run rabbit. I swear, you're like a dog that never learns."

Finally, Orlando stood and crossed the room to Elijah. "I've learned. Believe me, I've learned. And I want to tell you everything, I promise, and I want your advice, because you're my best friend in the whole world, and I'm really, truly sorry that I've been stupid and selfish and a cunt and every other word you can think of, but I'd really kind of like you to stop yelling at me for five minutes because I need a hug."

"Jesus, you're such a girl," Elijah stated, but pulled Orlando to him anyway. Dom and Josh quietly high-fived each other, then Josh made a motion to Dom to help him set up the table. Dom grabbed plates and utensils, and Josh tossed the noodles into the mixture, then grabbed the salad he'd made earlier out of the fridge. He quickly sliced some French bread, stealing glances at Orlando and Elijah all the while, but they looked like they were having a hug-fest or something, so he let them be. Instead, he took the salad bowl out to the dining room, then went back for the pasta dish and bread.

"He seem okay to you?" Dom asked as Josh sat everything on the table.

Josh glanced towards the kitchen, then shrugged. "I don't know, man," he said. "He's...well, quieter, I think. That could be from the flight, though. Or the fact that Harry and Karl apparently ripped his ass apart, and not in the fun way."

"Quieter is a good way to describe it. He's different now."

"Yeah, I got that..." He paused as Elijah and Orlando strolled in and took their seats. "Chick flick moment over?"

"Piss off," Orlando said as he reached for a piece of bread.

"Yeah, yeah." Josh held out his hand. "Pass your phone over, dude."

"Phone?" Elijah and Dom shared a look.

"Seems Orlando met a girl in London," Josh said, enjoying (maybe a little too much) the way Orlando started to squirm. Payback could be a lot of fun sometimes. "He said he's got pictures of her and her girlfriend."

"Was she hot?" Dom asked, leaning forward and waggling his eyebrows.

"They, and yes," Orlando said, giving Josh a dirty look. But he pulled out his phone and started thumbing through the photos.

"Wait, I'm sorry, did you say you met a girl in London?" Elijah's fork clattered to his plate. "Jesus Christ, Orli, what the hell?"

"It wasn't like that," Orlando absently replied. "They're with Dave and Lawrence now anyway and...aha, here." He all but shoved the phone under Josh's nose.

Josh took it from him and looked down. "Damn, you weren't kidding," he said, in admiration. "Dave and Lawrence are lucky men."

Dom made a gimme hand for the phone, so Josh tossed it over. Dom's appreciative whistle was low, heartfelt. "That's it, I'm flying to London to stay with Dave next. Fuck me."

Elijah pointed at Orlando. "You know, I'm trying to be good about waiting for some answers here, but what the fuck, dude?"

"Lij..." Orlando paused and took a deep breath. He gripped the edge of the table with both hands, so hard his knuckles turned white, and his eyes focused on his plate. "Look, in the last three months, I've discovered that I'm bisexual, had something pretty bloody close to a nervous breakdown, and ran away to London because London is safe. So can we please, please talk about this later? I swear I'll tell you everything."

"Alright. But we will talk."

Orlando just nodded and reached for his fork.

Dom breathed a sigh of relief and shared a look with Josh - time to change the subject to something less volatile. "So listen," Dom said, grinning as he passed the phone back to Orlando, "I've got a box for the Kings when they're back in L.A. So who's joining me to root on our boys?"

"I will," Orlando said, flashing Dom a grateful look. "Heard that was a hell of a game last night. Sorry I missed it."

"Oh, man," Dom said, placing a hand over his heart and smiling as he closed his eyes. "That fake-out was a thing of beauty."

"I think the neighbors might've heard me yelling," Josh laughed. "I'm so in."

"Lij?" Dom looked over, both eyebrows raised. "You can even bring Christina."

"Uh, sure, that'd be great. She loves hockey."

Josh lifted an eyebrow. "You don't sound very enthusiastic, dude."

"What?" Elijah lifted his head and gave Josh a wide-eyed look. "No, it's fine. She'd be thrilled."

Orlando looked around the table - Dom and Josh just shrugged back at him. Josh knew he didn't have a clue about what was going on. "You two are still getting on alright, right?" Orlando asked. "I mean, I know I haven't been around, but if you two're having problems and you wanted to talk -"

"What, no, we're fine. We're great, actually," Elijah stated, and Josh breathed an inward sigh of relief. He really liked Christina, and it was clear (to him, at least) that Elijah was crazy about her. "Uh, in fact, that's sort of why I dropped by today. I was hoping Josh might have some word on when you might be back, or some advice for me."

"You were wanting me to give you advice about Christina?" Josh asked, confused. Yeah, sure, they'd gotten along the times they been hanging out, but it wasn't like he was BFF with her or anything. "If this is about a birthday gift, just go with jewelry. Every woman I know digs it."

"No, her birthday's already passed," Elijah said. He started to fidget in his seat, then went completely still when he noticed they were watching him. "Um, it is about jewelry, though."

Dom's eyebrows shot up and he looked at Josh, who shrugged again. Jewelry could mean a couple different things, and no way in hell was he going to assume. Orlando just looked confused.

"You want to buy her jewelry," Dom said, slowly, "or you've already bought it?"

"Already bought it," Elijah replied. He swallowed hard, then dug into his pocket and pulled out a box.

Whoa, okay, yeah. To hell with assuming, because only two types of jewelry fit into a box that size.

Elijah toyed with the box for a second, then looked at Orlando. "This is why I'm not working today," he said. He took a deep breath, like he was trying to steady himself, then opened the lid and set it in the center of the table. "I, um, need some help figuring out the how."

"Holy fuck," Josh breathed, certain his eyes were bugging out of his head. Not that he thought anyone would blame him. That was one helluva ring.

"Jesus, you went all out, didn't you?" Dom asked, then clapped Elijah on the back. "I'd say yes just for the ring - I think you'll be fine."

Elijah smiled wanly, then looked at Orlando. "Well? What do you think?"

Josh watched as Orlando swallowed, then cleared his throat. "Uh, wow."

"You hate it," Elijah stated, sounding panicked.

"No, I don't...it's beautiful. She'll be thrilled." Then Orlando shook his head. "It's dumb, forget it."

Elijah nudged Orlando's shoulder. "Out with it, dork."

"It's just...you're getting married. I guess it just struck me that, I dunno, we're not eighteen anymore."

"No, we're not," Elijah said, with a small smile. He picked up the ring and looked at it for several long moments. "But look at this way. This means you'll have babies to spoil sooner or later."

Orlando's expression was so comical that Josh had to look away. Poor bastard.

Continued in Part Two