Just back from the Autosport exhibition at the NEC


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This morning, I received a cake that one of the girls in the office baked - she makes the most amazing cakes! Suppliers have been ringing to say goodbye, the guys in across Europe have been getting in touch to say it's sad I'm leaving, the team bought me some swanky cuff-links and the people in the restaurant gave me a free lunch and hugs ( Read more... )

Every morning, I drive through SloughIt's quite easy to recreate the atmosphere of Slough. For example, go to a public swimming pool and take a dip. Dry off afterwards and put your towel into a supermarket carrier bag. Take the bag with the towel in it, and put it somewhere dark for 30 days. Then open the bag and take a sniff ( Read more... )

Someone sat next to my desk yesterday with a microwaved fish pie. I didn't know who they were so I couldn't very well tell them that they stank. The smell lingered for quite some time afterwards.

Someone called me Citygent the other day. I was in the lift going up to me desk at work and a bloke in the lift said "You're quite the Citygent, aren't you?" I was most taken aback. But he was referring to the suit, umbrella and suitcase ( Read more... )

People with the misfortune to manage me have always had an absolute nightmare to deal with. I'm generally unreliable, go off at tangents, get bored easily and can cause no end of disruption. What's typically stopped me from being fired is that occasionally I do something pretty amazing. Like turn up to work on time as some point during the year.

I ( Read more... )

So they finally killed my access to the blog at work. It was going to happen. Fark gone, Boing Boing gone, The Citygent gone. I'm left with the BBC News page for lunchtime sandwich at desk action ( Read more... )

If any of us have worked in an office, we're all guilty in some way or another.

Here's you're new guide to the office meeting Bullshit Bingo game!

See if you can get three in one for triple score, like 'You can't have your cake and eat it, so you have to step up to the plate and face the music.'

I just got a missed call and saw the number was a call from France. I dial back.

"Er... um... Hello? Er... je pense vous telephone, er... moi?"

This French bloke starts rabbiting away in, oddly enough, French. I couldn't understand a word he was saying and thought to myself 'I wish I hadn't started this'.

So I put the phone down on him.

Silly lad here went to the meeting and mentioned that I had the results back from a European survey I did recently. I now have to do a presentation at the end of today to the GM team. Triffic.

Meeting Jimi D later for beers and food. Maybe Simon Loungabout, too.