(no subject)
dear journal,
remind me to never tell others my true emotions, because even after that individual knows all there is to know about me, she still does things around me knowing that it will piss me off. People will use my own life against me. Pisses me off. So the only thing i really can or would want to do is to cut off those people who aren't helping me. Hopefully by using the latter method, i can continue to avoid such aversive events. Maybe i can retain some level of happiness that much longer. Maybe.
As for relationships, i'm done. COmpletely and utterly done. I could honestly care less about options, or opportunities... i see none in that department of my life for a long time. ANd telling other people about clyde and how badly he screwed me over, is only making my situation worse by reliving the event with each story. Especially when people keep telling me that he is not worth any of that, and knowing how he's with other girls. Josh leaving me- knowing he had all of my self invested in him--losing that best friendship couldn't have hurt me any worse, ben being a douchebag up there with clyde.... i can't take it... although they try, i'm still hurt, i'm still mad. I can't take it anymore. I can't wait to get the fk out of here.
-cyn
i hope i get RA position next year.
remind me to never tell others my true emotions, because even after that individual knows all there is to know about me, she still does things around me knowing that it will piss me off. People will use my own life against me. Pisses me off. So the only thing i really can or would want to do is to cut off those people who aren't helping me. Hopefully by using the latter method, i can continue to avoid such aversive events. Maybe i can retain some level of happiness that much longer. Maybe.
As for relationships, i'm done. COmpletely and utterly done. I could honestly care less about options, or opportunities... i see none in that department of my life for a long time. ANd telling other people about clyde and how badly he screwed me over, is only making my situation worse by reliving the event with each story. Especially when people keep telling me that he is not worth any of that, and knowing how he's with other girls. Josh leaving me- knowing he had all of my self invested in him--losing that best friendship couldn't have hurt me any worse, ben being a douchebag up there with clyde.... i can't take it... although they try, i'm still hurt, i'm still mad. I can't take it anymore. I can't wait to get the fk out of here.
-cyn
i hope i get RA position next year.