(no subject)
dear journal,
it's senior year at centre college. It is 1:58 as i start writing this. I am up, because it is fall break and i cant seem to fall asleep before 3am now. Currently, i have postponed GRE studying for my passions with sensation and perception (my only PYB class this term) and of course, looking at grad school programs.
I am looking to apply at BU, UMB, UK as my top three grad prgs right now in School Counseling and School Psychology --all masters prgs if available. And other prgs at Salem State and Suffolk because for some reason i think maybe they'll have something to offer-- financially cough cough- that the other schools cannot? idk. But right now i have a list of deadlines and requirements and everything for most of those schools.
My dad wanted me to look more into speech pathology because his co-worker's daughter is making bank (70k) for a 10-month job, and uses her summers to do whatever she wants since she paid off all her debt at Framingham State w/in the year. I on the other hand, looked at other options, and yeah, maybe school counseling may not be the best fit for me? But what is? I've only changed my career plans at least once a year. How do i know this is the one.
Well... i came to the conclusion that counseling w/in the school system is the best thing for me because it allows me to use my psych side of my degree while also being able to work with kids, in an environment that (depending on where i am) will be constantly changing in scenery and hopefully intense-- keep me on my toes and not in boredom hating my job. I want to be able to help the youth- they are our future. And now a days, it seems that education is the only way to prove one's worth anymore. I feel that therapists never did me any good and most kids are not going to seek professional help when in need- they will turn to their friend most likely, or sometimes it's just so obvious that they need help that teachers in school or maybe me, a school guidance counselor, will be able to talk with them and their parents (afterall those in school probably see these kids more than the working parents do at times-- just a theory).
I feel that it was only until after my first internship with Crossroads for Kids that i've really been able to put this together. I can be there for kids all year round-- in school where it matters, and outside of school during the summers to help keep them on track and away from the pressures of society or stressors from their homes. I can apply play therapy or use that expressive therapy side of myself to get to know the kids, and then be able to use that new knowledge to address the reason for their academic or whatnot problems in the school system... More importantly, it is the combination of the summer and school year that stuck out the most in my mind. From crossroads, i worked with several guidance counselors in the boston public system and realized that they were probably one of the best guidance counselors because they understood these kids, and because they were putting themselves out there- they cared. simply put. I realized the importance of what one does with their summers.
With the importance of school and summer equally in my mind, while talking with one of the career counselors at my college, i realized what i wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be able to do both. To work as a guidance counselor, and have an after school program, that would eventually turn into a year-round program similar to the YMCA or boy/girls club or camp basically. I did not want to lose touch of that community feeling that camp had, i did not want to lose touch with the kids and how they felt about themselves and others. .... wait...
shouldn't i be doing social work???
why doesnt this make sense, how can i be there with kids and science at the same time-- one of my forever passions. Psychology is key obviously in that sense, but if i counseled kids in a community setting would that be guidance counseling&camp or breaching into a whole diff scene. Would i/should i be working as a non-profit administrator/ mgmt? idk. I hope not... ok think, you are using educatinal psychology, and using your summers to do non-profit work that you most likely would be unable to do as a social worker (with MSW) because you would be broke lol. That part makes sense... now here comes the tricky part.. would you be happy?
Yes, i've had one of the best summers of my life working as a camp counselor at Camp Wing. It's one of the best times of my life because of the sense of community, the simple hanging out and getting to know one another, while also working on the physical and social well-being aspects of our lives.. the mental well-being comes from school... SEE - perfect sense. the harmony/well-being pyramid comes into full circle with those two things. Now i need to know how will i know i will volunteer or participate in summer activities... well i know that by the faces of the kids that they were either crying because they were leaving camp, or because they were going back home... diff or same? camp is fun and yeah its sad when its over, but sometimes it meant more than just fun and games to kids and counselors alike, it was our safe haven.. everything outside of our world was gone and we were safe from those pressures and crazy dysfunctional whatnots-- for once we had that constant stability in knowing that we were living for each other and all aiming at the same goal which was to just have fun... so yes leaving camp was sad for me.... but i think i realized that why i was crying was not because everything had ended, but because i was going back into an unstable world. Like the kids, i was dreading the life that we were going back to- whether that was a broken home or actually miles away from home in kY, things wouldnt be the same for a while. BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT??
Why does the haven disappear? only to come around once every summer for a few weeks? Is that normal? Do most people.. excuse me, most kids, live their life like that? That's why school is important, and counseling kids to stay within a safe space, as my posse trainers had taught me in pre-collegiate training-- challenge ideas not the person, be w/in a comforting zone, respect others-- can help to protect their well-being until the summer again. With this environment and room for nuture-- woudln't you believe one to be able to open up more, to beleive more in himself and take pride in his ideas? be able to dream because he knows the world isn't terrible place for him or that all odds are against him-- youth empowerment... its amazing the wonders that it can do. After all, didn't debie bial receive the genius award for such an idea called the posse foundation. having a posse, a support group of ten people, all year round to be able to help each other until graduation in an area far from home and from what was once thought as societal norms so that they can continue into the ever diversifying country as our leaders of tomorrow. Retention rates for posse scholars are very high and the program is continuing to spread to other cities, recently Atlanta and Miami posse offices continuing youth empowerment efforts in separate yet as a collective organization. Doesn't my guidance couseling and camp/non-profit youth empowerment program have the same mentality except in stead of college posses there wiil be high school posses-- of course i can't steal that name due to fraud infringement etc but the same concept applies. High school posse support system until college is reached.. I feel that this concept may be considered more seriously now that high school dropout rates are increasing. A lot of this may be due to lack of motivatiion on part of the students, poor public school funds, or apathy on the teacher/public school staff.
Haha maybe i just created my thesis.. idk.. but knowing now how things in my life (posse and camp wing and of course other personal issues) have shaped me to be interested in school psychology/ guidance counseling makes a lot of sense now, why being a guidance counselor and continuing the summer service works would mean so much to me and have won over many other jobs.. although physical therapy still interests me, and i really wish i could have worked in a hospital... i feel like i'm already well on my way to the social aspect of things- i mean i always have been.. and now its kinda hard to just turn back on it after so many teacher assiting at daycare and horizons for homeless children volunteering... and now posse and camp... i think i just about cry everytime i think how maybe it was meant to be.. me working with kids in this way.. maybe not as a doctor.. but as a friend if that's not too corny to say.
I know i get really defensive when mom or dad question my capabilities...but i feel like it's a good sign as twisted as it sounds... it just means my heart is in it.. I know that school psychology is my passion.. im prety sure that Ed.S in School Psychology at UK would probably be the best fit.. i can be sorta a dr and be a in school therapist while also advising in other ways.. i mean it makes sense.. now do i have what it takes?? i hope so. I mean, it just sounds good too haha Dr. cynthia estremera school psychologist lol.
I'm pretty sure, that if i become a school psychologist... i might as well just go all the way, and be supervisor of school counseling or something like that you know? go back again for more schooling to be certified further in youth dev psych. so that i could potentially service in an area dealing with sexual/physical abuse clinics, or be an in school therapist (even though i hated therapists at one point... hate= being in that situation, unconsciously superimposing my mixed feelings on the therapist). just a thought.
it's senior year at centre college. It is 1:58 as i start writing this. I am up, because it is fall break and i cant seem to fall asleep before 3am now. Currently, i have postponed GRE studying for my passions with sensation and perception (my only PYB class this term) and of course, looking at grad school programs.
I am looking to apply at BU, UMB, UK as my top three grad prgs right now in School Counseling and School Psychology --all masters prgs if available. And other prgs at Salem State and Suffolk because for some reason i think maybe they'll have something to offer-- financially cough cough- that the other schools cannot? idk. But right now i have a list of deadlines and requirements and everything for most of those schools.
My dad wanted me to look more into speech pathology because his co-worker's daughter is making bank (70k) for a 10-month job, and uses her summers to do whatever she wants since she paid off all her debt at Framingham State w/in the year. I on the other hand, looked at other options, and yeah, maybe school counseling may not be the best fit for me? But what is? I've only changed my career plans at least once a year. How do i know this is the one.
Well... i came to the conclusion that counseling w/in the school system is the best thing for me because it allows me to use my psych side of my degree while also being able to work with kids, in an environment that (depending on where i am) will be constantly changing in scenery and hopefully intense-- keep me on my toes and not in boredom hating my job. I want to be able to help the youth- they are our future. And now a days, it seems that education is the only way to prove one's worth anymore. I feel that therapists never did me any good and most kids are not going to seek professional help when in need- they will turn to their friend most likely, or sometimes it's just so obvious that they need help that teachers in school or maybe me, a school guidance counselor, will be able to talk with them and their parents (afterall those in school probably see these kids more than the working parents do at times-- just a theory).
I feel that it was only until after my first internship with Crossroads for Kids that i've really been able to put this together. I can be there for kids all year round-- in school where it matters, and outside of school during the summers to help keep them on track and away from the pressures of society or stressors from their homes. I can apply play therapy or use that expressive therapy side of myself to get to know the kids, and then be able to use that new knowledge to address the reason for their academic or whatnot problems in the school system... More importantly, it is the combination of the summer and school year that stuck out the most in my mind. From crossroads, i worked with several guidance counselors in the boston public system and realized that they were probably one of the best guidance counselors because they understood these kids, and because they were putting themselves out there- they cared. simply put. I realized the importance of what one does with their summers.
With the importance of school and summer equally in my mind, while talking with one of the career counselors at my college, i realized what i wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be able to do both. To work as a guidance counselor, and have an after school program, that would eventually turn into a year-round program similar to the YMCA or boy/girls club or camp basically. I did not want to lose touch of that community feeling that camp had, i did not want to lose touch with the kids and how they felt about themselves and others. .... wait...
shouldn't i be doing social work???
why doesnt this make sense, how can i be there with kids and science at the same time-- one of my forever passions. Psychology is key obviously in that sense, but if i counseled kids in a community setting would that be guidance counseling&camp or breaching into a whole diff scene. Would i/should i be working as a non-profit administrator/ mgmt? idk. I hope not... ok think, you are using educatinal psychology, and using your summers to do non-profit work that you most likely would be unable to do as a social worker (with MSW) because you would be broke lol. That part makes sense... now here comes the tricky part.. would you be happy?
Yes, i've had one of the best summers of my life working as a camp counselor at Camp Wing. It's one of the best times of my life because of the sense of community, the simple hanging out and getting to know one another, while also working on the physical and social well-being aspects of our lives.. the mental well-being comes from school... SEE - perfect sense. the harmony/well-being pyramid comes into full circle with those two things. Now i need to know how will i know i will volunteer or participate in summer activities... well i know that by the faces of the kids that they were either crying because they were leaving camp, or because they were going back home... diff or same? camp is fun and yeah its sad when its over, but sometimes it meant more than just fun and games to kids and counselors alike, it was our safe haven.. everything outside of our world was gone and we were safe from those pressures and crazy dysfunctional whatnots-- for once we had that constant stability in knowing that we were living for each other and all aiming at the same goal which was to just have fun... so yes leaving camp was sad for me.... but i think i realized that why i was crying was not because everything had ended, but because i was going back into an unstable world. Like the kids, i was dreading the life that we were going back to- whether that was a broken home or actually miles away from home in kY, things wouldnt be the same for a while. BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT??
Why does the haven disappear? only to come around once every summer for a few weeks? Is that normal? Do most people.. excuse me, most kids, live their life like that? That's why school is important, and counseling kids to stay within a safe space, as my posse trainers had taught me in pre-collegiate training-- challenge ideas not the person, be w/in a comforting zone, respect others-- can help to protect their well-being until the summer again. With this environment and room for nuture-- woudln't you believe one to be able to open up more, to beleive more in himself and take pride in his ideas? be able to dream because he knows the world isn't terrible place for him or that all odds are against him-- youth empowerment... its amazing the wonders that it can do. After all, didn't debie bial receive the genius award for such an idea called the posse foundation. having a posse, a support group of ten people, all year round to be able to help each other until graduation in an area far from home and from what was once thought as societal norms so that they can continue into the ever diversifying country as our leaders of tomorrow. Retention rates for posse scholars are very high and the program is continuing to spread to other cities, recently Atlanta and Miami posse offices continuing youth empowerment efforts in separate yet as a collective organization. Doesn't my guidance couseling and camp/non-profit youth empowerment program have the same mentality except in stead of college posses there wiil be high school posses-- of course i can't steal that name due to fraud infringement etc but the same concept applies. High school posse support system until college is reached.. I feel that this concept may be considered more seriously now that high school dropout rates are increasing. A lot of this may be due to lack of motivatiion on part of the students, poor public school funds, or apathy on the teacher/public school staff.
Haha maybe i just created my thesis.. idk.. but knowing now how things in my life (posse and camp wing and of course other personal issues) have shaped me to be interested in school psychology/ guidance counseling makes a lot of sense now, why being a guidance counselor and continuing the summer service works would mean so much to me and have won over many other jobs.. although physical therapy still interests me, and i really wish i could have worked in a hospital... i feel like i'm already well on my way to the social aspect of things- i mean i always have been.. and now its kinda hard to just turn back on it after so many teacher assiting at daycare and horizons for homeless children volunteering... and now posse and camp... i think i just about cry everytime i think how maybe it was meant to be.. me working with kids in this way.. maybe not as a doctor.. but as a friend if that's not too corny to say.
I know i get really defensive when mom or dad question my capabilities...but i feel like it's a good sign as twisted as it sounds... it just means my heart is in it.. I know that school psychology is my passion.. im prety sure that Ed.S in School Psychology at UK would probably be the best fit.. i can be sorta a dr and be a in school therapist while also advising in other ways.. i mean it makes sense.. now do i have what it takes?? i hope so. I mean, it just sounds good too haha Dr. cynthia estremera school psychologist lol.
I'm pretty sure, that if i become a school psychologist... i might as well just go all the way, and be supervisor of school counseling or something like that you know? go back again for more schooling to be certified further in youth dev psych. so that i could potentially service in an area dealing with sexual/physical abuse clinics, or be an in school therapist (even though i hated therapists at one point... hate= being in that situation, unconsciously superimposing my mixed feelings on the therapist). just a thought.