With or Without You
He did it again. It hurts like hell. I tried to keep myself from feeling this way. Distance myself. But it didn't work. I did fall. I always hit the ground when I do though. In a way I understand why he ended things but in others I don't. I saw something in his eyes when he looked at me. How he touched my face and kissed me. I know he felt something. But I guess it's not enough when there's so many reasons you shouldn't be together. I'm a mess and he is perfection. It was nice having him in my life and I wanted to keep him around so badly. Although we are at 2 different spots in life, we have gone through some of the same rough patches. It was nice sharing that with him. Being able to talk to him, see where he's at now, and be inspired to be just as great. I hate the impression he has left on me... and yet I am thankful for it. I'm confused... I just want him... he relaxed me. He made me feel comfortable in my own skin. I miss him already. I'm never going to feel him brush my bangs out of my eyes. Or have him grab me and spin me around so that he could hold me. Cuddle and fall asleep in his arms. My heart is in pain and I don't know what to do to stop it. I don't want to do what I used to do. I don't want to be angry at him to make this easier. He is an amazing guy. I have no reason to hate him. You can't hate someone because they don't see a future. It just sucks because I did...
-Me
-Me