Fade Into You
It's weird how things work out. Why things happened the way they did. How they ended up changing us. It's crazy how much we can change in such a short amount of time. Yesterday I saw him for the first time in 3 months. He seems like an entirely different man now. Maybe it's because he's showing me a different side or maybe he really has changed. He's still a great man. I will never stop thinking that. But there are things now that he didn't do before. Some good. Some... I'm on the fence about. I care about him so much and hope that this doesn't get out of hand. In a way I don't take him as seriously because of it. Crazy how one thing can change your perception of a person. It's too soon to really tell what the extent of the situation is. And way too soon to even try to put words to what's going on between him and I. But as for now, I am enjoying the openness. When we were last together, there was a wall that I could not penetrate. He would never let me in. I would try but it would end up being awkward. He'd never tell me something too personal about himself. And that's why our relationship never deepened. He wouldn't let it and I didn't know how. This time around though... I'm learning about him. He's answering questions that I was once too afraid to ask. Which is nice. It takes the pressure off... Just having a hard time wrapping my head around the other stuff. I don't know why... but I have a bad feeling... It sucks that I've wanted him back in my life for so long, but it's not what I thought it'd be. He still makes me feel something... indescribable. His kiss still takes my breath away. But... is he still that man I fell for in October?
-Me
-Me