I MUST SAY IT
1. His name is Conner Kent. NOT Connor. CONNER. Especially sentences like "I love Connor so much! He's one of my favorites!" just make me twitch. If you love him, spell his name right. Kthnxbye, I am someone with a constantly misspelled name and, really, that one little letter MATTERS.
2. Here are two versions of the same scene. Tell me which is less confusing.
a) "Honey, I'm home!"
"Finally!" Liz closed the door behind her.
"Did you miss me?" Jane jumped up and ran to hug her girlfriend.
"Of course I missed you. Dinner's almost ready." Liz disentangled herself from the hug and pulled her coat off.
"What are we having?" Jane grinned.
"Your favorite."
b) "Honey, I'm home!" Liz closed the door behind her.
"Finally!" Jane jumped up and ran to hug her girlfriend.
"Did you miss me?"
"Of course I missed you. Dinner's almost ready."
Liz disentangled herself from the hug and pulled her coat off. "What are we having?"
Jane grinned. "Your favorite."
See how matching the dialogue and actions of the same character makes it work better? I have seen a lot of stories recently where I keep being like, "wait, who's talking now?" because it's all written like that first version up there. So yeah, authors, a little bit of alignment by you makes the reader feel less like a confused idiot.
Speaking of dinner, now I get to go home and eat it.
This entry was originally posted at http://ciaan.dreamwidth.org/38894.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
2. Here are two versions of the same scene. Tell me which is less confusing.
a) "Honey, I'm home!"
"Finally!" Liz closed the door behind her.
"Did you miss me?" Jane jumped up and ran to hug her girlfriend.
"Of course I missed you. Dinner's almost ready." Liz disentangled herself from the hug and pulled her coat off.
"What are we having?" Jane grinned.
"Your favorite."
b) "Honey, I'm home!" Liz closed the door behind her.
"Finally!" Jane jumped up and ran to hug her girlfriend.
"Did you miss me?"
"Of course I missed you. Dinner's almost ready."
Liz disentangled herself from the hug and pulled her coat off. "What are we having?"
Jane grinned. "Your favorite."
See how matching the dialogue and actions of the same character makes it work better? I have seen a lot of stories recently where I keep being like, "wait, who's talking now?" because it's all written like that first version up there. So yeah, authors, a little bit of alignment by you makes the reader feel less like a confused idiot.
Speaking of dinner, now I get to go home and eat it.
This entry was originally posted at http://ciaan.dreamwidth.org/38894.html. Please comment there using OpenID.