Not so good
Been a while since I've posted anything. Shortly after my previous post things took a darker turn. I thought I'd made a really good friend here in Albuquerque, which was in large part responsible for my extra good feelings at the time of that post. Unfortunately, she stopped communicating with me for reasons that are mysterious and known only to ghod. So I've spent a lot of the last few weeks trying to sort through the hurt and get to a point where it isn't affecting my life, without having to bottle it up and pretend it isn't there.
The timing on this really couldn't have been much worse. Rachel's been in California since shortly before Christmas, I was only really able to take enough time from work to be there for the weekend and the holiday. At the time the plans were made I figured it would be okay. I don't like to be by myself, but I thought I'd have a friend here to spend a lot of that time with. Instead I got to go through most of this alone.
I'm going to say a great big thank you here to everyone who has been helping me with this long-distance, and you know who you are. Your advice, your wisdom, and your support have been invaluable to me and I won't soon forget it.
What I mean when I say alone is I really could have used quite a lot of hugs these past few weeks, and a shoulder or two to cry on from time to time. I have a lot of friends here in Albuquerque, but losing the closest is the kind of thing that can put you off balance. It can make it harder to try and develop more of that kind of closeness with the friends you have left, out of fear of further rejection.
So, I'm starting to find my feet again. And Rachel will be back on Wednesday. We're having a party on Saturday. Life's going to go on, and I think I've managed to get through the really thick part of this without becoming someone other than who I am.
Something tells me this isn't the end of the story, and I hope I'm ready for the rest of it when it comes.
The timing on this really couldn't have been much worse. Rachel's been in California since shortly before Christmas, I was only really able to take enough time from work to be there for the weekend and the holiday. At the time the plans were made I figured it would be okay. I don't like to be by myself, but I thought I'd have a friend here to spend a lot of that time with. Instead I got to go through most of this alone.
I'm going to say a great big thank you here to everyone who has been helping me with this long-distance, and you know who you are. Your advice, your wisdom, and your support have been invaluable to me and I won't soon forget it.
What I mean when I say alone is I really could have used quite a lot of hugs these past few weeks, and a shoulder or two to cry on from time to time. I have a lot of friends here in Albuquerque, but losing the closest is the kind of thing that can put you off balance. It can make it harder to try and develop more of that kind of closeness with the friends you have left, out of fear of further rejection.
So, I'm starting to find my feet again. And Rachel will be back on Wednesday. We're having a party on Saturday. Life's going to go on, and I think I've managed to get through the really thick part of this without becoming someone other than who I am.
Something tells me this isn't the end of the story, and I hope I'm ready for the rest of it when it comes.