same story all the time
I guess there's two types of guys who will ever like me and I can tell them apart by the way they reveal their feelings about me. There's the pushy kind who tell me pretty much right off the bat that they like me and give me little opportunity to deny them my time. They imagine that I must love them because I have spent time with them and have possibly been careless with my actions, like being considerate or polite. They believe with unwavering conviction that I will end up dating them even if they have to go to great lengths first to prove their love for me. When I try to tell them I don't want to go out with them, they ignore me and tell me I am "afraid to take a chance," "denying my true feelings," or "bottling up my emotions." If and when they realize I don't, and will never, love them, they become psychological disasters. They yell, cry, drink a lot, hit things, threaten suicide. Then they repress their knowledge of the truth and try to win me over again.
The second type is less time consuming, but ultimately creepier. They let me think for a long time that we are just friends and that their feelings do not extend beyond that. Then at some time they consider opportune, they admit their feelings to me over the internet. They typically give me an easy out, like "I know you don't want to date anyone right now," or "I don't want this to ruin our friendship," so I turn them down and try to act like everything is normal between us. This usually works for a while and in all the cases I can think of the guys have actually tried to distance themselves from me for a while. Then we start hanging out more and I will begin to trust that the guy is actually just my friend and has gotten over whatever crush he had on me. But the creepy part is he is just hanging out with me still to wait for the next opportune time to make a move. And as time goes on, the "moves" these guys make become more and more forward. And if I get freaked out or question the situation, the guys will always come up with a way to manipulate things so they will look innocent or try to get me to feel sympathetic and things will be cool with us even if we stop hanging out for a while. But the cycle always starts up again, I guess whenever the guy gets tired of being "just friends" or I am in a position that makes me seem vulnerable.
I know the second guy. I can recognize it now and avoid it. It sucks though because I like being friends with guys. I generally get along better with them than I do with girls. But there are very few guys I know who can actually let the relationship stay at "just friends." And now, when I like hanging out with a guy and I get along well with him, I get really disappointed when he makes that first move of telling me he likes me. Because I know now that we can't be friends after that. No matter what the guy says.
The first guy is harder to pinpoint because they seem to develop an intense bond to me when I am still first getting to know them. And they are impossible to get rid of. Unless I move.
I just want to be cool with people, you know? I don't want to be causing trouble for anyone or fucking with anyone's emotions. I don't want to have to avoid people I would normally see all the time and I don't want to have to cut out parts of my life to end a situation with someone who can't get over whatever image they have created of me.
I guess this might sound pretty dumb, but I really hate being a girl. No one can take me at face value because of my gender. I try to talk to people and they think about my boobs. I try to be friends with someone and they estimate how long it will take them to get in my pants. If someone actually does like me for who I am, it doesn't mean we can be friends and have adventures and joke around with eachother. It means I have to promise undying love and eventual marriage and hanging out all the time. Here's a fact: Just because you like me as a person doesn't mean you love me. And another: Just because we get along well doesn't mean we have to go out.
The second type is less time consuming, but ultimately creepier. They let me think for a long time that we are just friends and that their feelings do not extend beyond that. Then at some time they consider opportune, they admit their feelings to me over the internet. They typically give me an easy out, like "I know you don't want to date anyone right now," or "I don't want this to ruin our friendship," so I turn them down and try to act like everything is normal between us. This usually works for a while and in all the cases I can think of the guys have actually tried to distance themselves from me for a while. Then we start hanging out more and I will begin to trust that the guy is actually just my friend and has gotten over whatever crush he had on me. But the creepy part is he is just hanging out with me still to wait for the next opportune time to make a move. And as time goes on, the "moves" these guys make become more and more forward. And if I get freaked out or question the situation, the guys will always come up with a way to manipulate things so they will look innocent or try to get me to feel sympathetic and things will be cool with us even if we stop hanging out for a while. But the cycle always starts up again, I guess whenever the guy gets tired of being "just friends" or I am in a position that makes me seem vulnerable.
I know the second guy. I can recognize it now and avoid it. It sucks though because I like being friends with guys. I generally get along better with them than I do with girls. But there are very few guys I know who can actually let the relationship stay at "just friends." And now, when I like hanging out with a guy and I get along well with him, I get really disappointed when he makes that first move of telling me he likes me. Because I know now that we can't be friends after that. No matter what the guy says.
The first guy is harder to pinpoint because they seem to develop an intense bond to me when I am still first getting to know them. And they are impossible to get rid of. Unless I move.
I just want to be cool with people, you know? I don't want to be causing trouble for anyone or fucking with anyone's emotions. I don't want to have to avoid people I would normally see all the time and I don't want to have to cut out parts of my life to end a situation with someone who can't get over whatever image they have created of me.
I guess this might sound pretty dumb, but I really hate being a girl. No one can take me at face value because of my gender. I try to talk to people and they think about my boobs. I try to be friends with someone and they estimate how long it will take them to get in my pants. If someone actually does like me for who I am, it doesn't mean we can be friends and have adventures and joke around with eachother. It means I have to promise undying love and eventual marriage and hanging out all the time. Here's a fact: Just because you like me as a person doesn't mean you love me. And another: Just because we get along well doesn't mean we have to go out.