(no subject)
ok...lots have happened since my last entry, i found out that i was mainly jealous of laur...so i thought that josh started liking her.....well i was only jealous cuz laur and josh all of the sudden started getting close, or wutever. but no, he dosent like her...and she's crazy for briley! i told matthew that josh had taken some of his feelings away, so yea.....that conversation didnt go to well...but all is good now between matthew and i, im ahppy with all that now. and laur talked to josh bout me((which by the way i didnt kno she was goin to do this)) and she told him wut i told matthew bout my feeelings and all, he said he didnt kno wut to do, he feels extreamly bad, he thinks he hurt me once we broe up...and i think i took it the wrong way when we broke up...i thought we were on a "break" but obisouly now.....i dont know, now its gunna b weird around him, but im not gunna show it. laur told him that i was to stubborn to admit that i still like him, and i kno i am...cuz i wanna get over him. i dont think we'll ever get back together and if were not i wanna go ahead and start working on a friendship, which i kno we already have that but still..i wanna start thinking him in the mind set. i dont want him to feel bad for breaking up with me....so yea. i think im just gunna tell laur to kinda hint to josh that i dont like him as much anymore, and my feelings r starting to go away......and i think its true, i dont know him all that well anymore, and how can u like someone that u dont know that well.....i guess its time to fly solo, not to like anyone, i think that will b good for me...i serisouly dont need a guy to make me happy.....i realized that im happy when im not with anyone, im actually a lot happier because i dont sit at home waiting for that guy to call....yes, i serisouly think im a lil happier without anyone like that in my life ... now that i think of it, it makes me smile because i dont have to impress anyone, i dont have to worry bout anything, and i can be myself....matthew is just a friend right now, i still have thoes feelings towards him but not as strong of feelings, though i kinda dont want him to kno about em....o well, only time will tell....but right now life is going good for me! and im happy....hehe...i have my girls to thank for that, they have helped me realize that i dont need a guy to be happy, i can be happy by myself or just with my friends, im more free like this....i love thoes girls so much, they help me through everyhting.....i couldnt survive without them!