Answer to the question Why
Hello
I've just joined the community to look for an answer to one specific question, but unfortunately nothing under 'advice' tag really fits.
I’m 35 yo, and I don’t want to have kids. My main reason is I don’t like kids and don’t like being around kids. There are a lot of other reasons as well, but to me this one is already more than sufficient.
My problem is - what to answer to the Why question.
So far I managed to avoid the direct question “When are you going to have kids?”, but given my age and the fact that I am in a happy relationship now, I expect people to become more and more persistent. The answer is simple - because I don’t want to. Why? Because I don’t like kids and don’t want to have one around me all the time. But here comes my problem: I do care what family and friends think about me. They all (100%) have kids by now, and I'm afraid telling them “because I don’t like kids” will sound offensive, as if I don’t like their particular offspring. I don’t want them to think of me like as of some sort of a child-eating monster who can’t be allowed into their life any more.
I understand that if your friends don’t support and accept you as you are, maybe they are not such a worthy friends. But I'm sure a lot depend on the delivery. Surely there must be a way to construct the answer to the question so that the people I care about won’t find me repugnant?
I don’t want to lie and say it’s because of some health issues. But I also don’t want to choose a ‘smaller’ reason like “I'm very happy with my life right now and want to keep it this way”, however true it is, because I expect people to try to persuade me that the reward is bigger than the inconveniences. It all might be so, but not when I just simply don’t want to have kids around me - which would bring me back to my true reason...
Any thoughts on the way how to put it into words and not to be blunt?
Thank you.
I've just joined the community to look for an answer to one specific question, but unfortunately nothing under 'advice' tag really fits.
I’m 35 yo, and I don’t want to have kids. My main reason is I don’t like kids and don’t like being around kids. There are a lot of other reasons as well, but to me this one is already more than sufficient.
My problem is - what to answer to the Why question.
So far I managed to avoid the direct question “When are you going to have kids?”, but given my age and the fact that I am in a happy relationship now, I expect people to become more and more persistent. The answer is simple - because I don’t want to. Why? Because I don’t like kids and don’t want to have one around me all the time. But here comes my problem: I do care what family and friends think about me. They all (100%) have kids by now, and I'm afraid telling them “because I don’t like kids” will sound offensive, as if I don’t like their particular offspring. I don’t want them to think of me like as of some sort of a child-eating monster who can’t be allowed into their life any more.
I understand that if your friends don’t support and accept you as you are, maybe they are not such a worthy friends. But I'm sure a lot depend on the delivery. Surely there must be a way to construct the answer to the question so that the people I care about won’t find me repugnant?
I don’t want to lie and say it’s because of some health issues. But I also don’t want to choose a ‘smaller’ reason like “I'm very happy with my life right now and want to keep it this way”, however true it is, because I expect people to try to persuade me that the reward is bigger than the inconveniences. It all might be so, but not when I just simply don’t want to have kids around me - which would bring me back to my true reason...
Any thoughts on the way how to put it into words and not to be blunt?
Thank you.