My Thoughts...

[cissyann]

I really enjoy reading the posts in this community every morning. I have really learned alot about caring for chihuahuas, things to look for and I also love seeing the super cute pics. I have been a little disturbed by some of the bickering that seems to go on lately.
One of the reasons I have followed this site for so long is that there hasn't

Comments

[cissyann]

Well, I guess my post sure stirred up a lot of replies. I appreciate those who remind me just to ignore the drama and that the people who respond harshly haven't changed yet and probably aren't going to. I just got a little fed up at seeing new people who were so excited about having a new chihuahua and joining the community get slammed. Someone mentioned referring to people as "children" which I did not do. I said I felt some of the responses were immature - that is my opinion and I stick to it. Like the poster who hated to point out her age I hate to sound old, but over the years I've seen the level of politeness expected in my generation become a way of the past. In regards to the comment that I should have taken this to the moderator, I didn't know that. I am not that blog savvy and I had to go back and read the rules several times to understand what you were talking about. I don't even understand some of the terminology in the rules. (What the heck is a troll? Does it live under a bridge?) If I acted inappropriately I apologize

[midnight_d]

A troll is someone who purposely goes into a community/forum/messageboard just to stir up trouble.

[wizba]

Oh yes because these replies were really harsh

*rolls eyes*

Seriously, I think your, and many of the OMG you guyz are MEANZ type people's, ideas of rude/harsh/etc are seriously in need of some readjustment. Telling someone what reality is, that isn't harsh/rude/etc, that is reality. Sometimes reality is harsh, but that doesn't mean the person that tells them it is...just means they are a realist.

You can treat a person with compassion and dignity and still tell them the truth. Obviously, people that have had their feelings hurt on here so badly were doing something perhaps dangerous or bad and decided to ignore that and just go with the OMG you are meanz!

If you really had better things to do with your time why make this post? Gee...I know, to be a troll.

If you seriously find these replies disturbing, then I fear for you in the real world...seriously.

These types of post are EXACTLY why this icon was made.

[midnight_d]

LOL @ Meanz!

[cissyann]

Obviously we disagree. I think it is interesting that you are concerned about how I will make it in the "real world" I see that you are 19 years old. I am 40 this year and have a Master's Degree and have been a psychiatric social worker since you were one year old. I deal every day with the real world. People who are suicidal, homicidal, abused, etc. I've been through some hard times in my life. I currently have a family member possibly dying in the hospital. I imagine I know a lot more about how harsh reality can be than you could know. I also know that in the "real world", in the work place, in a marriage, dealing with your co-workers, your kids, people in general, saying things in a kind way creates a more positive atmosphere and you end up getting more of the result you are looking for. It's the old adage that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. The reason you get a better result is that people are more open to hearing what you have to say, rather than shutting their ears because of the way you said it. I have also found

[rozae]

Thanks for sharing your life experiences. My one request is that, in the future, posts like these are reconsidered. The persons who need to hear such words typically aren't listening. They're simply going to go on the defensive, almost instantly. Meanwhile, drama erupts, and everyone gets hurt further.

I understand that this post was a sort of plea to get things back on track and maybe bring awareness to those with questionable behavior. Instead, these posts seem to further divide the various types of people within the community. It makes it harder to move on.

[cissyann]

I can see that. It was not my intent to be divisive. I probably was doing no more than preacihng to the choir.

[cissyann]

I went through and read your comments - very mature and reasonable. I again apologize if I proceeded incorrectly in any way and did not want this to end up being divisive. It was my intent to try to bring awareness, but if I had thought about it further I might have realized that that what I say is not going to change the attitude of others and that I need to accept what I can't change and rather show kindness to people who I feel may not be getting it. Previously I was not angry or have anything against any individual people - just concern over the tone. After reading some of the post written directly to me, I have to say I went from dissapointed and frustrated to very angry. I felt personally attacked - which I tried (how successfully?) not to do in my post. I also felt like I was not welcome in this community and was considering leaving the community. I appreciate you pointing out to people the specific things that do come across as hostile or contemptous. Maybe they are not aware of what it is that is being seen as attacking? I am

[wizba]

Age doesn't have to do with making it in the real world, real world being outside of the internet. I know plenty of 40 year olds that still are not in the real world and the list grows every day...even people with medical liscences or psychiatric ones. In fact, some of the most damaged people are counselors to others

[rozae]

*rolls eyes*

Again, it's how you say it that affects how people will receive what you say. Rolling eyes and the like are signs of contempt. Is it any wonder people are taking great offense to what you're saying?

[wizba]

That was purposeful because its getting a bit ridiculous...I mean the responses were all pretty nice, so I don't understand what she is going nutso over. I

She couldn't possibly be taking offense to me to start out with, seeing as I have not had a computer for over a week now to respond to recent posts.