A brief PSA.
Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning, Tess, aka The Gerbil, aka Her Royal Highness, Ruler of the Universe, had another stroke and passed on to the great big nommy cardboard box in the sky.
I have been, to put it lightly, distraught. You can tell I'm distraught because I don't want to talk to people online, which is pretty damn distraught. It's partially because if you talked to me for longer than five seconds you knew that Tess was far, far more than a gerbil for me. I work from home and spent almost my entire day with her, I spent hours talking to her and petting her and feeding her and fussing over her, sh was trained to jump in my lap and nip my thumb when she wanted attention. She had sass, nerve, and more personality than I knew could fit in a gerbil.
On top of that, Tess died in the middle of one of my stretches of severe depression and anxiety. (I can explain and answer questions on my anxiety/depression later, but that is not the point right now.) I was already very shakily getting through the things I had to do with my life, and losing the gerbil was a pretty harsh blow. In addition to all her gerbily duties, Tess functioned largely as a security blanket and distraction for me when I felt down, and I think you get the irony behind this entire situation.
For all of yesterday and most of today, I was utterly incapacitated with the addition of grief to the already debilitating anxiety, depression, and stress at all the homework I was neglecting, and I'm finally starting to venture out of my shell today.
To everyone who commented on my last entry, or e-mailed me, or tweeted me, thank you so, so much. It meant the world to me. However, I'm afraid I don't have it in me to respond to each one of you (including the friends requests, I just can't quite bear to go back to that entry), so please, contact me again if you have a concern or request you want to discuss with me.
I am writing this entry, however, to say, while I sincerely am grateful to all the well-wishes and sympathy, and I know a lot of you heard quite a lot about the gerbil and felt close to her and might want to say something - don't. I need to place a moratorium on any gerbil talk whatsoever. Please, DO NOT bring this up again. It's already very difficult for me to walk around my house every day not hearing her, and what I need even more than your hugs and words of support is a place I can escape from missing her and feel like everything is still fine.
Thanks, everyone. I'll be back either later tonight or tomorrow with some happy fun things all over again.
I have been, to put it lightly, distraught. You can tell I'm distraught because I don't want to talk to people online, which is pretty damn distraught. It's partially because if you talked to me for longer than five seconds you knew that Tess was far, far more than a gerbil for me. I work from home and spent almost my entire day with her, I spent hours talking to her and petting her and feeding her and fussing over her, sh was trained to jump in my lap and nip my thumb when she wanted attention. She had sass, nerve, and more personality than I knew could fit in a gerbil.
On top of that, Tess died in the middle of one of my stretches of severe depression and anxiety. (I can explain and answer questions on my anxiety/depression later, but that is not the point right now.) I was already very shakily getting through the things I had to do with my life, and losing the gerbil was a pretty harsh blow. In addition to all her gerbily duties, Tess functioned largely as a security blanket and distraction for me when I felt down, and I think you get the irony behind this entire situation.
For all of yesterday and most of today, I was utterly incapacitated with the addition of grief to the already debilitating anxiety, depression, and stress at all the homework I was neglecting, and I'm finally starting to venture out of my shell today.
To everyone who commented on my last entry, or e-mailed me, or tweeted me, thank you so, so much. It meant the world to me. However, I'm afraid I don't have it in me to respond to each one of you (including the friends requests, I just can't quite bear to go back to that entry), so please, contact me again if you have a concern or request you want to discuss with me.
I am writing this entry, however, to say, while I sincerely am grateful to all the well-wishes and sympathy, and I know a lot of you heard quite a lot about the gerbil and felt close to her and might want to say something - don't. I need to place a moratorium on any gerbil talk whatsoever. Please, DO NOT bring this up again. It's already very difficult for me to walk around my house every day not hearing her, and what I need even more than your hugs and words of support is a place I can escape from missing her and feel like everything is still fine.
Thanks, everyone. I'll be back either later tonight or tomorrow with some happy fun things all over again.