Dear Bradley and Colin, quit playing games with my heart. Love, Me.
I meant to do my weekly post of this earlier, only then I accidentally passed out and napped for two hours. Oops. Maybe it was because after I saw this my body COULD NOT FUNCTION FROM THE ADORABLE:
WHAT THE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. I think this proves my/cherrybina's theory that Bradley James is actually a puppy. (I'm not sure who thought up this theory first. We sort of... simultaneously started referring to him as such, and then she had photo evidence, and then I started spamming her with videos of puppies on Youtube that were secretly Bradley, and now it's become so obvious it's like trying to figure out who thought up gravity first. BRADLEY JAMES IS A HUMAN PUPPY. THIS IS ALL ANYONE EVER NEEDS TO KNOW.)
But seriously. Guys, I do TRY not to tinhat. I really do. Not because I think it's shameful or wrong to tinhat, but mostly because I'm just THAT PERSON. I'm that person who believes that everyone is a special snowflake with a valid point of view and if I could just walk a mile in their shoes I would understand blah blah blah. I argue against myself all the time. Literally, okay, I take a Legal Philosophy class, and we were using various readings to argue both sides of a case, and everyone else was half-asleep or something, so first I argued for the prosecution, and then when no one was offering anything for the defense, I raised my hand again and destroyed all my previous points. Even though I agreed with them. I just knew how to destroy them. I AM THAT PERSON. I may feel a certain way about things, but I refuse to passionately embody them until I have considered every viable option otherwise and proven to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, this is true.
So I really try to understand the "just friends" argument with Bradley and Colin. I do. They're sweet boys and don't deserve another someone convinced they are omg so meant for each other and planning their wedding if they don't feel that way. (Regardless of if they have no idea I feel this way or not.) I've been in the situation where people were convinced I just HAD to date someone who I felt icky about, and it sucks. I would feel guilty doing so. BUT THEY ARE MAKING IT VERY HARD FOR ME. I mean, come the fuck on, Bradley's flaw is that he can't leave Colin alone? And then Colin's face and laugh when he's all "oh, I don't mind"? WHAT THE WHAT THE WHAT. And the STARING contest. Good Lord, I was simultaneously enjoying that and feeling distinctly like I should get a room or maybe they should get a room because this was clearly something private going on. Plus, Colin's little smile. Oh god. I've told you about my fascination with Colin's Bradley-specific (or assumed to be Bradley-specific, as I have never seen them used on anyone else) smiles, right? (I plan on picspamming this later to convince all the doubters). So for now, believe me, Colin has two specific Bradley smiles (assuming he's not laughing at Bradley. These are JUST smiles. Colin laughs at everyone the same way). They are:
a) Partially open-mouthed, just enough to show the tops of his teeth, generally indicating private amusement, such as Bradley referring to an inside joke or Bradley being an idiot. The "I am laughing at you on the inside, you massive idiot" smile.
b) Close-mouthed smile/smirk where his eyes hardly crinkle at all but juuuust enough to make them appear gentler. This generally appears when Bradley's doing something Colin seems to like/find endearing. Famously appeared quite often on the road trip and has the effect of making Colin look like a moony-eyed idiot. I refer to this as the "oh, you" smile.
AND COLIN SPENT THE ENTIRE STARING CONTEST INCAPABLE OF KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE (which is weird, because he's a really good actor) WITH THE BIGGEST OH, YOU SMILE ON AND GOADING BRADLEY INTO STARING INTO HIS EYES SOME MORE. WHAT THE FAAAAAAAACK. How am I as a rational human being supposed to believe that two straight dudes or at least dudes that have no romantic goings-on do that shit? WHAT KINDS OF PEOPLE ENGAGE IN STARING CONTESTS LIKE THAT? OR SMILE ALL SPECIAL AT EACH OTHER? OR GO ON ROAD TRIPS OR DISCUSS THEIR FUTURES OR DO ALL THE CRAZY STUFF BRADLEY AND COLIN DO? I GIVE UP, OKAY. I GIVE UP TRYING TO BELIEVE ANYTHING BUT THAT THESE TWO ARE HAND-HOLDING, COMMITMENT-CEREMONY-PLANNING, DUMBFACE IN LOVE. AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BELIEVE THIS SO LONG AS THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THE OTHER ONE IS THE SUN AND MOON AND STARS WITH SWEET LITTLE SMILES AND STANDING SO CLOSE AND ASLKJFSLKDKSJDF.
I NEED TO GO LIE DOWN.
Click to viewWHAT THE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. I think this proves my/cherrybina's theory that Bradley James is actually a puppy. (I'm not sure who thought up this theory first. We sort of... simultaneously started referring to him as such, and then she had photo evidence, and then I started spamming her with videos of puppies on Youtube that were secretly Bradley, and now it's become so obvious it's like trying to figure out who thought up gravity first. BRADLEY JAMES IS A HUMAN PUPPY. THIS IS ALL ANYONE EVER NEEDS TO KNOW.)
But seriously. Guys, I do TRY not to tinhat. I really do. Not because I think it's shameful or wrong to tinhat, but mostly because I'm just THAT PERSON. I'm that person who believes that everyone is a special snowflake with a valid point of view and if I could just walk a mile in their shoes I would understand blah blah blah. I argue against myself all the time. Literally, okay, I take a Legal Philosophy class, and we were using various readings to argue both sides of a case, and everyone else was half-asleep or something, so first I argued for the prosecution, and then when no one was offering anything for the defense, I raised my hand again and destroyed all my previous points. Even though I agreed with them. I just knew how to destroy them. I AM THAT PERSON. I may feel a certain way about things, but I refuse to passionately embody them until I have considered every viable option otherwise and proven to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, this is true.
So I really try to understand the "just friends" argument with Bradley and Colin. I do. They're sweet boys and don't deserve another someone convinced they are omg so meant for each other and planning their wedding if they don't feel that way. (Regardless of if they have no idea I feel this way or not.) I've been in the situation where people were convinced I just HAD to date someone who I felt icky about, and it sucks. I would feel guilty doing so. BUT THEY ARE MAKING IT VERY HARD FOR ME. I mean, come the fuck on, Bradley's flaw is that he can't leave Colin alone? And then Colin's face and laugh when he's all "oh, I don't mind"? WHAT THE WHAT THE WHAT. And the STARING contest. Good Lord, I was simultaneously enjoying that and feeling distinctly like I should get a room or maybe they should get a room because this was clearly something private going on. Plus, Colin's little smile. Oh god. I've told you about my fascination with Colin's Bradley-specific (or assumed to be Bradley-specific, as I have never seen them used on anyone else) smiles, right? (I plan on picspamming this later to convince all the doubters). So for now, believe me, Colin has two specific Bradley smiles (assuming he's not laughing at Bradley. These are JUST smiles. Colin laughs at everyone the same way). They are:
a) Partially open-mouthed, just enough to show the tops of his teeth, generally indicating private amusement, such as Bradley referring to an inside joke or Bradley being an idiot. The "I am laughing at you on the inside, you massive idiot" smile.
b) Close-mouthed smile/smirk where his eyes hardly crinkle at all but juuuust enough to make them appear gentler. This generally appears when Bradley's doing something Colin seems to like/find endearing. Famously appeared quite often on the road trip and has the effect of making Colin look like a moony-eyed idiot. I refer to this as the "oh, you" smile.
AND COLIN SPENT THE ENTIRE STARING CONTEST INCAPABLE OF KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE (which is weird, because he's a really good actor) WITH THE BIGGEST OH, YOU SMILE ON AND GOADING BRADLEY INTO STARING INTO HIS EYES SOME MORE. WHAT THE FAAAAAAAACK. How am I as a rational human being supposed to believe that two straight dudes or at least dudes that have no romantic goings-on do that shit? WHAT KINDS OF PEOPLE ENGAGE IN STARING CONTESTS LIKE THAT? OR SMILE ALL SPECIAL AT EACH OTHER? OR GO ON ROAD TRIPS OR DISCUSS THEIR FUTURES OR DO ALL THE CRAZY STUFF BRADLEY AND COLIN DO? I GIVE UP, OKAY. I GIVE UP TRYING TO BELIEVE ANYTHING BUT THAT THESE TWO ARE HAND-HOLDING, COMMITMENT-CEREMONY-PLANNING, DUMBFACE IN LOVE. AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BELIEVE THIS SO LONG AS THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THE OTHER ONE IS THE SUN AND MOON AND STARS WITH SWEET LITTLE SMILES AND STANDING SO CLOSE AND ASLKJFSLKDKSJDF.
I NEED TO GO LIE DOWN.