A moment to reflect
I haven't spent a lot of time alone while I've been down here. Come to think of it, I spend time with people everyday. I spend time with people at class, I spend time with Jeremy, Patrick, Zach, Amanda (who I need to see more), Dane, the McKinneys...most of my time is spent with other people in my company. I was wondering why it's been like that until this weekend. The guys are at PDX Lan (kind of the modern equivalent of guy's weekend going fishing I'm thinking) and I've been taking the time to get things done, start sewing projects, do some algebra and make an attempt at cleaning things up (that didn't happen so much).
With a moment alone I finally realized...here I am.
Here I am, and I'm not in Oregon to visit my friends, I'm not down here looking at anything, I'm not driving for three hours north home tonight, because I don't live in Seattle anymore. I live across the bridge in Vancouver.
Here I am.
And who am I now that I'm here? What has the consequences of my actions done to my personality? I'm more honest than I've been. I'm a little more suspicious of people, I'm catching myself questioning motivations of people lately. On the flip side, it's easier for me to trust and let go of things. I don't mind a little confrontation if that's what needs to happen. I'm enforcing better personal boundaries. I'm less afraid of things than I was a little while ago.
If I needed to stop and wonder where I should be now (like I did several months ago), it would be really silly of me.
Because I'm here.
With a moment alone I finally realized...here I am.
Here I am, and I'm not in Oregon to visit my friends, I'm not down here looking at anything, I'm not driving for three hours north home tonight, because I don't live in Seattle anymore. I live across the bridge in Vancouver.
Here I am.
And who am I now that I'm here? What has the consequences of my actions done to my personality? I'm more honest than I've been. I'm a little more suspicious of people, I'm catching myself questioning motivations of people lately. On the flip side, it's easier for me to trust and let go of things. I don't mind a little confrontation if that's what needs to happen. I'm enforcing better personal boundaries. I'm less afraid of things than I was a little while ago.
If I needed to stop and wonder where I should be now (like I did several months ago), it would be really silly of me.
Because I'm here.