Gromit!

[cheryl_bites]

So, it turns out Inter has a Uruguayan Diego. There are two of them, one ugly and one not (in fact, he is quite good-looking, in a sneaky sort of way that creeps up on you). We have Forlan, who turns out to be - guess what? - the ugly one. Bah, humbug! (The good-looking one, like most of the rest of the world, has gone to Paris St Germain.)

I suppose Martha will have to get rid of her When There Were Blondes At Inter tag now. Oh, and the ultimate consolation: presumably we won't be getting Tevez.