OneShot: Lies Part 2

[cherrylady6]

Lies

“I need to go now, Tegoshi, I have an interview now”, stated Ueda after he threw a glance at his watch. Tegoshi nodded, thanking Ueda properly for spending time with him and helping him composing. It turned out better than he thought. Though he knew Ueda was a good composer, he didn’t think he was that good, especially in composing fast songs. But they had nearly the complete melody for Tegoshi’s song, and Tegoshi was really proud of their work. He’d probably ask Ueda to help him another time, but Ryo didn’t need to know. He could think Tegoshi had a hard and awkward time with Ueda, and he had to do Tegoshi something good for that.

Ueda turned around again as he opened the door and waved, before he closed it carefully and left. Tegoshi smiled. He did a good job.

*****

Ueda walked again to the room the reporter waited in, mentally prepared for an interview as always. He didn’t even know the theme this time. He was used to know it before and think of some good questions and answers himself, just in case. Sometimes he thought he’d be a pretty good reporter, too. He opened the door, surprised that the reporter was already there, and greeted the man.

“Well, let’s get straight to the point.”

Ueda was surprised because he was used to small talk in the beginning, but it would be faster like this, so he was okay. He nodded.

The interviewer started to look in his bag for something and then he pulled out a magazine. He turned the pages, obviously he looked for an article. After he found it, he put it on the table between him and Ueda and turned it in Ueda’s direction.

“What do you have to say to this?”, he asked and glanced expectant at Ueda.

Ueda hadn’t seen that article ever before. He looked at it interested because he saw him and Ryo together on a page, and that was definitely something that didn’t happen often. He took the magazine and started to read. He narrowed his eyes after reading the headline, asking himself what the article was about. His eyes widened as he read on. Then he looked up, staring at the interviewer.

“Is this true?”, asked Ueda and pointed at the article. “Ryo … denied our love? He did?”

“Yes, he did. You didn’t know?”, asked the reporter straight-faced.

Ueda stood up and walked out of the room. The interviewer didn’t think of his counterpart to react like this and tried his best to follow Ueda, directing the cameraman to stay behind him.

Ueda didn’t think of the camera behind him, his thoughts were revolving around Ryo lying to the magazine and more, Ryo lying to him. They had talked about it. They had wanted to make it official. How could Ryo dare to backstab him? He thought Ryo loved him. But maybe he was wrong.

Ueda opened the door to the NEWS room and looked around. His facial expression didn’t show any feelings. All he felt was cold. He saw Ryo together with his other members in a corner of the room, obviously having fun with them. Ryo stood up immediately as he saw Ueda and tried to figure out what happened.

“Tatsuya …!” He wanted to say more but he couldn’t say a word as he looked into Ueda’s dark eyes. They weren’t inviting and friendly as always, they didn’t sparkle because he was happy to see Ryo. They were just dark - and cold.

Ueda walked straight towards Ryo and before he could say anything else, Ryo felt Ueda’s hand in his face as his lover slapped him. Hard. Ryo’s face was directed to the left side now, and he stayed like this. He didn’t dare to look at Ueda. He didn’t feel the pain on his skin, but he felt the pain in his heart. The angst that caused him to panic. Why had the man he loved just slapped him?

“I didn’t know you were that much of an asshole.”

Ryo shut his eyes as he heard the familiar voice say these words. He could tell how hard Ueda tried to keep his voice normal. All he wanted was to hug him and never let him go, to explain everything. If he knew Ueda would be okay with that, he would’ve done it right then.

He turned his head slowly back, facing Ueda. Tears were streaming down his beautiful face. Tears that Ryo caused to flow. He lifted his arm to wipe the tears away, but Ueda gripped his wrist firmly before he reached his face. Ryo could feel that Ueda was shivering.

“Was that your plan? To show the world how stupid I am to fall in love with you? Did you want to play me for a sucker for all this time? You’re so sneaky. I can’t believe I’ve fallen for you. I must’ve been so stupid. It’s over. Don’t ever come near me again.”

Ueda’s voice was trembling and broke finally, due to the tears in his eyes. Ryo stood only there, feeling the tears in his own eyes. He wanted to say something, to explain everything, he wanted to talk to Ueda so bad, but he couldn’t pronounce even one word. He stayed silent.

“I hate you …”, whispered Ueda and turned around, running towards the door, leaving all of them behind.

“Well …”, said the cameraman then, and the reporter added fast: “We’ll take our leave now.”

They were fast gone, sure happy with all the material they just filmed.

Ryo just stood there, still, staring at his wrist where Ueda’s hand was holding it a few seconds ago. And now, he was gone. Slowly, he felt the burning pain in his cheek and he cursed as he put his hand on it and it hurt even more.

“Why didn’t you say something?”, asked Yamapi. Ryo looked at his friends who were sitting in the same position as before and had been watching all this time. They looked all horrified by what just happened.

“I … couldn’t”, answered Ryo, honest. “There weren’t any good words for me to say.”

“Why didn’t you run after him?”, asked Tegoshi.

“Because he wouldn’t listen to me anyway.”

“But he would’ve had the feeling that you care about him a lot, that you love him and that you don’t give up on him this fast.”

Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

“It’s too late, now.”

*****

“Tatsuya! Wait, please! Let me explain it!”

Ueda turned around and glared at Ryo who has been running behind him all the time, trying to get to talk to him all this morning.

Ryo was shocked as he saw the face of his former lover. He looked as if he didn’t sleep for days and his eyes were swollen.

“What do you want to explain? That you played only with me, all the time? I don’t need your explanations, Ryo! I saw the article with my own eyes, and really, I understood. I don’t want to hear more. There’s just one thing bothering me: why did you have to say it through a magazine? Why not personal? Weren’t we even close enough for that?”

“Tatsuya, I -“

“Please, don’t hurt me anymore. And stop calling me Tatsuya.”

Ueda turned around, walking fast away. He was nearly running and didn’t look back where Nishikido Ryo stood and looked after him, stunned, sad, lonely. Was it really over? Ueda. Ueda. That didn’t sound nice in his mind. Well, it was a nice name of course! The name of his love after all. Why was he so bad expressing his thoughts lately? He just wasn’t used to call him Ueda. Where did the familiarity between them go?

I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

If we pass by each other on the street
Don’t act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Ryo sighed before he slowly turned around, too, and walked towards his bandroom. There was still work to do, after all. He didn’t want to give up but he knew that Ueda would avoid or ignore him as much as possible.

*****

Ueda’s mind went blank as he was remembered of the duet with NEWS by his band members. Could they make his life any harder now? He tried to avoid Ryo at all costs and soon there would be an upcoming project where it was nearly impossible to ignore him. They would have to work together. Ueda remembered how happy he was when the project was actually announced. Didn’t he hug Ryo? Because he was glad to be able to spend even more time with him? He missed the minutes where he lay in Ryo’s arms during the meeting, letting the others discuss while he was enjoying Ryo’s closeness. He missed …

“Ueda!” Koki’s hand, moving in front of his eyes, brought him back to reality. “Stop daydreaming and contribute to our discussion here! You’re a band member, too.”

Ueda nodded slowly, smiling apologetic, listening to the ideas of the others. When it came to dancing, Ueda tried everything to dance in a position as far away from Ryo as possible.

“How about a different dance for KAT-TUN and NEWS?”, he suggested, happy because he found a good solution.

“Well, that would be a completely different performance, right? But we want to perform together!”

“Uh, yeah …” Ueda leaned back in his set and sighed. Just why did it have to be now?

*****

I have to do everything right this time … I have to do it …

Ryo was nervous as he was walking along the corridor to the room where he had his next interview. It was quite a chance for him to say what he wanted to say if he used that chance well. But he had to. He had to say the right words to make Ueda come back, or Ueda would never forgive him. But would he even read it after everything that happened?

Of course, told Ryo himself. Ueda loved his interviews! … when they were still together. He wouldn’t read it now, would he? Ryo stopped and faced the wall, closing his eyes as his head hit the wall softly. He had to get those thoughts out of his head. They made him crazy. He would make everything right. There was only one chance for him to do it.

Slowly, he walked on, repeating the lines he planned over and over in his head. Soon he arrived at the room for the interview, took a breath and went in.

“Nishikido-san!” The interviewer stood up immediately and greeted Ryo, nice and reserved.

Ryo greeted him too, revealing his excitement with his nervous movements. He went over to his chair, sat down and waited for the first question.

“Well, let’s sta-“ The man wasn’t even able to finish his sentence as Ryo cut him off already, being nervous to a point he couldn’t take anymore. He spoke very fast but still clearly.

“About the scandal. With Ueda Tatsuya. I’d like to talk about that.” Ryo breathed in and out, heavy.

“Go ahead”, said the reporter, just pressing the button on his recorder to start.

“Well … it was my fault, actually. I’d like you to write about this in the next issue, really. I said in this one interview that I wasn’t in love currently, right? Well, that was a complete lie. I’m actually pretty happy with Ueda Tatsuya from KAT-TUN. Or I was until he read that magazine. He’s pretty mad at me and he can be because it’s my very own fault, I know that. He thinks I don’t love him, that I don’t love him enough to be able to tell it everyone. But that’s not true! I love him more than everything else, everyhing else I own, really. I swear. I can’t live without him. It hurts me so much to see him everyday, not being able to walk up to him and hug him from behind but knowing he will ignore me all day, won’t be listening to me and my story. It really hurts. But I can’t change it at the moment because I’m the wrong one and I have to wait for him to forgive me, if he can. I annoyed him all day because I thought he would listen to me but he didn’t. It was the wrong way to go. I’m really hopeless at the moment. There’s the upcoming project for both of us, but I’m sure he already worked out a plan to avoid me in the breaks, and we won’t be able to talk during the practice anyway. I’m worried. I’m really worried. I fear that he isn’t able to forgive me, to forget about this. Though he pretends to be tough on the outside and I agree that he is able to take a lot, I still have to say he is very sensible when it comes to relationships. And I destroyed his trust in our love, I’m so stupid, I could hit myself so many times for it. How could I? He was one of the most precious things I ever had in my life. And I lost him. I even hurt him. I want to say so many things to him! How sorry I am, how I really feel about him, how I -“

Ryo stopped surprised as the reporter reached out to him with a sheet and a pen in his hand. He took it, hesitating.

“Write it down. Though your words are lovely, it won’t impress him too much when it’s printed down like every other article. Write him a letter, your own handwriting will make it more expressive and more personally.”

Ryo smiled at the man, understanding what the use of this was.

“I’m going to initiate an own article for you with this letter and we’ll take photos for it, too. And in a few minutes we’ll start with the actual interview, alright?”

Ryo nodded happily as he looked up from the letter which he already started to write. His words were flowing and he didn’t need to think about it. There was so much he had to say.

There’s so much I have to say to you, if you only listened to me.

*****

“1 … 2 … 3”, counted the choreographer and watched NEWS and KAT-TUN performing the steps they just learned.

“Yeah, looks good!”, he commented, accomplished with both bands. Though their new dance was really complicated because there were a lot of changes between going back and forth, everyone worked it out pretty fast. They had to change places a lot so that everyone was in the front of the stage at least once.

Ueda was as happy as he could be, being a line in front of Ryo, because it was easy to ignore him like that.

It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, thought Ueda, smiling to himself. But this moment of inattention caused him to lose track of the steps and he looked helplessly around to see the right order of steps again but it only made him more confused because they all had a little different steps in the lines. There was only one dance step the same in every line.

“No, no, stop!”, yelled the choreographer, noticing the wrong steps of Ueda. Well, how couldn’t he as Ueda was in the first line?

“You”, he pointed at Ueda, “watch out.” Ueda nodded fast to assure the dance teacher that he understood.

“No, wait. You will .. you will go there, next to that guy with the black hair. He has the same dance steps as you.”

Ueda didn’t dare to follow the teacher’s eyes as he was pointing at someone behind him. Ueda went through everyone he knew with black hair but there was only one. Only one he didn’t want to think of.

“How …?”, he tried to ask, knowing there was no space in the line.

“Ta - … Taguchi-kun? You’re good at dancing, are you okay with moving and dancing in this line?”

Ueda knew the answer already. He turned to his left as he heard Taguchi’s steps coming from the right side of him, not wanting to see the bright smile walking towards him. He walked slowly a line back, standing next to Ryo with as much distance as the performance allowed him. He nearly heard the air crackling between them and the tenseness made him feel uncomfortable. But he could concentrate a lot better, maybe because all his senses seemed to be on alert, and he didn’t make a single mistake.

“Wow, you’re doing a good job in that row! You’re liking the people better? Anyway, you’ll stay there! I’ll change the choreography a little, so you can dance there in the official performance, too! It’ll look great, believe me!”

“No, really, I’m okay with -“

“No need to thank me!” The choreographer smiled at him, and Ueda tried to smile back, ignoring Jin who gazed accusing at him since the teacher asked if he liked the members better. Ueda tried to keep his countenance as he stuck his tongue out at Jin who was in a line with him before. Jin just grinned, turning his head back.

“Well, that’s it for today!”, announced the choreographer then and started to clap. The members joined and started to pack their things afterwards, filling the room with chatting and laughing. Ueda walked towards his bag as soon as possible, not even giving Ryo a try to talk to him though he felt his glance on him.

“So, you like them better than me, huh”, said Jin more to himself than to Ueda but still loud enough for him to hear. Ueda caught sight of Jin pouting while packing his bag and started to laugh, welcoming the distraction Jin offered him.

“I’d do everything for dancing next to you, don’t you know that? But I’m not good enough for that!”, he joked. Jin smiled accomplished. Ueda was getting along well with Jin as always, and he enjoyed it this time more than ever. Turning around, Ueda saw Ryo glancing at him, nearly waiting for him.

“Want to go for a drink, Jin?”, he asked loud enough for Ryo to hear. Ueda glanced again at Ryo just to see the disappointment in his eyes.

“Always”, answered Jin then, opening the door, walking into the cold night with Ueda.

*****

“Excited?”, asked Nakamaru, pacing around in the waiting room. Only a few minutes were left until the first performance of their new song and everyone was curious how the fans would react.

“Actually, I’m fine”, answered Ueda, doing push-ups on the ground. He was always doing this before performances, and it was good for him.

“Stop working out already, we have to go on stage in a few seconds”, ordered Koki with a smile, kneeling down and pressing down his hands on Ueda’s stomach to stop him from exercising.

“Ah, itai, itai! It hurts! Okay, I stop!”

They stood up, cleaning their clothes before they lined up to go on stage. There would be a talk first, as always. But they were so many today so Ueda didn’t plan on saying something but concentrate on the steps already.

“Give your best, members!”, shouted Kame, reaching his hand out, waiting for the others. Everyone put their hand on top of Kame’s, then threw it in the air, yelling “Good luck!”. Then they walked out of the room, mostly in pairs.

The talk processed smooth and all of them enjoyed being there in a large group. Ueda didn’t really listen to the talk a lot until his name was brought up.

“Well, the project was actually an idea of Ueda”, explained Nakamaru, throwing a glance at his band member.

“Oh, why?”, asked the host, now looking at Ueda too.

“Ah, I wanted to improve my appearance lately! And I noticed that all members of NEWS have a really nice charisma. So I tried to smile more and said that I had to stick with NEWS for a brighter, more sparkly feeling! I was only joking but somehow, Johnny heard that and suggested a song for us together and everyone became highly excited and now I’m credited for creating that project. Really, I was only joking.”

And if I had known how my relationship would turn out, I would’ve never made that joke, added Ueda in his thoughts.

The talk continued, and the next words Ueda noticed were “Please stand by for the next song” and everyone stood up to get ready for the stage.

Ueda got up, waiting to be able to go on stage. He just arrived there when the host announced the song’s name and the music started. He was looking to his left to check if he was in the right line, avoiding his right side because of Ryo, and started to dance. He had to stretch out his arms during that one dance step, and because he felt good, he did it without thinking. But he flinched as his fingers touched Ryo’s arm, the well-known feeling of the soft skin under his fingertips. He noticed how close Ryo actually was and pulled his arm immediately back. Noting how unprofessional his moves were, he tried to fix it, the fear of doing wrong steps becoming greater with every movement he made.

He streched out his arm again to do the dance properly, but everyone else turned around already, being a step ahead. Ueda followed them as fast as he could but somehow he didn’t manage to catch up with them. He became nervous, watching his own steps and the others desperately as he tried to figure out the right time for the steps but he failed. Suddenly, he felt lost in his own world, not hearing the music anymore. Instead, he heard everyone’s steps echoeing in his head, and his moves were out of time. He heard someone giggle in the audience.

Did they laugh at him? Was his dance so absurd that they found it already amusing?

He noted the sound of someone opening a handbag and looking for something. Was that someone bored? Or tired of looking at him?

“What are you doing? Concentrate!”, a sharp whisper from his right side woke him up, and Ueda dared to look towards Ryo for the first time in a long time.

“I don’t know”, he whispered back, expressing his desperation. He noticed Ryo moving a little towards him, and a little in front of him, trying to cover most of Ueda’s wrong steps. Ueda was thankful. After all, he could count on Ryo, he was sure, even if they were enemies.

“We’re moving forward”, instructed Ryo as the first line with Jin danced slowly backwards and Ueda’s line was now in the front.

Ueda knew himself that Ryo wasn’t able to cover him here, and he was aware of the fact that everyone was able to see his wrong steps now.

What is really going on between Ueda Tatsuya and Nishikido Ryo?

A picture of the article shot through Ueda’s head as he saw a smile of Ryo, directed at him. Ueda’s head was hurting, he was starting to get an incredible headache. What a great timing.

And - what were all these people thinking? They read the article, for sure. And now, Ueda and Ryo were dancing next to each other. What was the audience thinking? That Ueda forgave Ryo already, being kind-hearted? Were they calling him a wimp for that, for not being able to live without Ryo? Or did they think he was cold-hearted and ignored Ryo and didn’t care about him anymore?

Ueda didn’t notice how close he was to the edge of the stage. Sure, they pointed it out in the rehearsals. They were many members and therefore very close to either the back of the stage or the front of the stage. But Ueda didn’t feel his body anymore, he was just dancing along, not noticing the steps he made. He had to deal with all the disturbing sounds of the audience and the headache which became worse every single second. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his concentration - but when he opened them again, he was lost in the lights, and he couldn’t see properly anymore. The next moment, his vision turned black and he lost the ground under his feet. He fell, feeling the air in his face. The last thing he heard was Kame’s voice yelling his name before his body hit the floor and he lost consciousness.

*****

“Tat-chan!”, yelled Kame who was dancing a row behind Ueda and pushed his way through the first line to the edge of the stage. Ryo was standing there, not moving an inch, staring at the place where Ueda stood just a second ago. Then the music stopped and everyone was in an uproar. Kame was the first one who jumped off the stage and kneeled down next to Ueda, bedding Ueda’s head into his lap.

“Tat-chan? Tatsuya? Can you hear me?” Kame was bent over his friend, slowly stroking his cheek, trying to talk to him. “Hey, wake up! You didn’t hurt your head, did you? Are you hurting somewhere? Do you have injuries? Tatsuya, answer me!”

His voice broke as he desperately tried to get Ueda to talk. He heard the audience talk excitely as he felt a hot tear streaming down his face.

“Kamenashi-kun! Please move aside!”, yelled an ambulance man as he tried to make his way through the members.

“No!”, answered Kame immediately, not moving an inch but trying to hold Ueda closer. He didn’t want to let go of his friend.

“Kame …” Jin put a hand on Kame’s shoulder, calming him down. Kame stood up, slowly, and Jin lead him to the other members, who stood all shocked at the side of the stage. Ueda was pushed towards the ambulance on a divan bed and Kame ran towards him, walking along with him towards the ambulance, not leaving his side. Jin let him, and everyone else was too shocked to react in any way.

Ryo was just not able to do anything. He felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him and now he was falling and falling and it didn’t stop. He wasn’t able to notice the pain in his heart and he wasn’t aware of the sorrow in his eyes. He didn’t feel. All he did was look after Ueda as the ambulance drove away with him, until it was just a little blue light in the distance.

******************************************

A/N:

THIS WAS EPIC FAIL T__T I really shouldn't write scenes like this.
I appreciate critique if you found something you'd disagree with in any way.
Feel free to point out my mistakes ~
I hope you enjoyed the story until now ♥

The lyrics I used: Big Bang - Haru Haru

Comments are love ♥ They make me happy :D
I really hope you like the story until now as I put all my heart into it :)
Last part should be up tomorrow if I'm not too busy! ~ :> I'm not quite sure.