OneShot: Lies Part 1
To admit something isn't easy for everyone. Even if you have to do it, want to do it for someone you like, it can be pretty hard to really admit something when you know you change something with it. Because change isn't always for the better. And Nishikido Ryo, known as a straightforward and kind of perfect boy, knew the best that sometimes, you just have to admit something for your own sake, no matter how impossible it seems. And in the end, it will turn out good.
Nishikido Ryo and Ueda Tatsuya walked together through the park, both smiling and laughing, enjoying their time together though Ryo tried to keep the distance between them. They became a couple recently although they’ve known and liked each other for years now. But that doesn’t matter once you found your love, right? And they had found it.
“Ryo, come on, I want to show you something!”
Ueda grabbed Ryo’s wrist and pulled him towards a few trees. He didn’t notice Ryo’s nervous glance over his shoulder to check if someone was watching them. It dawned already, the sun was a bright and yellow ball in the deep red sky, and the park was empty except for Ryo and Ueda. Pleased to see that they were alone, he turned towards his lover and wondered where he was heading to.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since I was little with my boyfriend”, smiled Ueda while he pointed at a tree in front of them and pulled a clasp-knife out of his pocket. He opened it with a happy expression before he let go of Ryo’s wrist and put the knife sure into Ryo’s opened hand.
“And I’m going to do it?”, asked Ryo with an unsatisfied look on his face. If they were caught or someone saw them, he was the one who carved it in and therefore he was the one to blame. Although .. if someone looked at the tree .. could they figure who’s initials those letters were? And ..
“Stop daydreaming. It’s cold! Won’t you do it for me?”
Ryo sighed as he caught sight of Ueda’s pleading eyes. Who could resist them? So he gripped the knife in his hand tigther and concentrated on the rind in front of him. He started to carve carefully a ‘R’ in, followed by a ‘+’ and a ‘T’.
“Finished”, he said proudly as he looked at his work and the readable letters, his doubts had vanished.
“Give me the knife, Ryo-chan”, ordered Ueda with an open hand stretched towards Ryo and he did so, wondering what he wanted to do.
“Something’s missing.”
Then he started to frame their names slowly until Ryo could recognize the shape of a heart and smiled. He walked towards his lover, caressing his back while he worked on the heart to make it perfect.
Ueda finished it a minute later, straightened up and eyed their names. Then he turned to Ryo, sparkles in his eyes, a wide smile on his face.
“It’s perfect, isn’t it? It matchs just so well.”
Ryo just hugged Ueda, planting a kiss on his cheek while he held the other man close to him. He wanted to enjoy the moment he had with him, the feeling was still so new to him. How long had he missed being in love with someone? Having the feeling to be really loved by someone? He had longed for it, and Ueda appeared like an angel from heaven. Right, he was his angel.
‘Don’t be so cheesy, Ryo’, he corrected himself. But he still had to smile about his love. The only thing bothering him .. was he already ready to show his love to the world? To share it with everyone? He wanted to enjoy his secret a little longer, to keep it a little longer for himself. And .. after all, he was in love with a man. Not to speak of someone in the same industry as him. How would they react if they knew it? Reporters? Fans? Their band members knew it of course since they both had someone they were really close to in the bands, and neither Kame from KAT-TUN nor Tegoshi from NEWS were able to keep their mouths shut and soon all the members knew about it. But the good thing was: They supported them. But who said everyone else would do the same? There was no guarantee. Maybe they would even start bashing either him or Tatsuya, and that was the last he wanted, the last he needed.
There totally wouldn’t be a problem if he just kept his love for himself. But .. though they never spoke about it, Ryo knew that Tatsuya was very happy and wanted to show this to the world. He wanted to let everyone know he found his luck. And there was nothing bad about it, wasn’t it right to share your feeling with others?
A slight shiver of Ueda brought Ryo back to reality. It was cold outside by now, and only his arms couldn’t keep his boyfriend warm.
“Let’s go home”, whispered Ryo into Ueda’s hair.
Ueda looked up, he had laid his head on Ryo’s shoulder for a few minutes.
“Yes, let’s go, ne! You have an interview tomorrow morning, don’t you?”
Ryo just nodded, loosening his arms, throwing a last glance at the heart before they walked through the grass back to the path. Ryo noticed a couple of an elderly woman and man behind them as they walked towards the path, and nearly automatically, he increased the distance between him and Ueda bit by bit. They weren’t far apart, but not close enough to touch each other casually while walking. Ueda didn’t notice it at first because he kept looking at his surroundings but when he reached out to find his lover’s hand, he couldn’t find it and he turned his head to look for Ryo. Ryo noticed his action of course and unconsciously, he slid his hands in his pockets.
“Ryo …? Why aren’t you next to me?”
With a look between them, Ryo figured he went a little too far and tried to fix it a little with getting closer immediately.
“Sorry, Tatsuya .. I guess I was spacing out. Won’t happen again. Oh, look, we’re nearly there!”
He pointed towards Ueda’s house, the back of it could be seen even from the inside of the park. It was a pretty huge house, but maybe normal for someone like Ueda who lived in a large house since he was young.
Ryo and Ueda walked towards the house, not holding hands, not showing their love to Ryo’s pleasure. Once they reached it, they stopped just in front of the doorway to say goodbye to each other. Ryo just wanted to wave and leave, but he was completely taken by surprise when Ueda took a step forward and kissed him on his lips. Ryo threw hurriedly a look at the elderly people who just walked out of the park after him, just to see them approving and giggling about their young love. Ryo relaxed his stiff body and enjoyed the feeling of Ueda’s soft lips on his own. After a few seconds they parted and Ueda walked in his house, turning around again to look at Ryo.
“Ryo-chan … I love you”, he said with a smile, obviously waiting for an answer.
Ryo was taken aback though, not able to say anything, just staring at his boyfriend who said those words for the first time. Their relationship meant something. It was important to Ueda. He confirmed it just now. A huge smile formed on Ryo’s face though he was still unable to answer.
“Good night”, said Ueda then, closing the door slowly with a smile.
Ryo just nodded and waved, trying to erase that stupid smile from his face. Had this been the right moment for him to say ‘I love you’, too? Had he missed his chance? Was it the perfect first time where you confessed your love? It wasn’t difficult to understand that Ueda was waiting for his answer. Why didn’t he confess? He was unable to say even one word. Maybe he wasn’t ready? But why? He was so sure of his love.
‘Next time, I’ll say it to him. Next time for sure’, calmed Ryo himself down while he walked home with a satisfied smile on his face.
*****
Ryo walked straight into the Jimusho on the next morning. He was the last one of NEWS to be interviewed, so he came a little later. It was bright outside, the sun shone and it was a warm day. He had his interview today first thing in the morning and he was pretty relaxed though he knew the reporter of that magazine was always straightforward and asked a lot of uncomfortable questions and Ryo had to answer them and havering was useless because he asked the same again then. Ryo didn’t know about the theme yet, so he was wondering what it could be.
Once he entered, he walked straight to the room the reporter was supposed to be in. Being interviewed was mostly a pleasant part of the day, sitting around with a reporter for an hour, answering questions the way you want to, eat snacks and just relax a little. Taking photos afterwards for the magazine, just as always. The only thing you had to be careful of was not to let secrets slip out while you were randomly talking to the reporter but the idols in the Jimusho were already professional when it came to that, so there was no problem.
He found the room fast, knowing all room numbers already. He opened the door and walked in, politely greeting the interviewer before he sat down opposite to the man.
“How are you doing, Nishikido-san?”, asked the reporter friendly, obviously to start the interview more nicely. Ryo was tired of that but it was meant nice, so he answered.
“I’m fine, everything went good recently.”
“Love, too?”
“W-what?” Ryo was stunned. He knew he was straightforward, but that much? Did he .. know.. ?
“I asked if your love life has been fine, too.”
“W-why are you asking me this?” Ryo was unsure of how to answer it. Probably it was just a normal question any reporter could ask and only he thought of it as a serious issue.
“It’s just a normal question, why don’t you answer me?”, asked the reporter, but Ryo knew those people, and he could see through his face, seeing the evil smirk behind the nice smile. He kept silent, not knowing what to answer without saying what he wanted to keep a secret.
“So, obviously, you aren’t in the mood to answer me. Well, looks like I have to share my information then with you? Maybe you will tell me more then? Let’s try. You were spotted yesterday evening in a park with Ueda Tatsuya, together. Do you have to admit something?”
Ryo knew this statements too well. He hadn‘t said what he had actually seen, so he probably saw them only walking towards Ueda‘s house, together, but with distance and he just made up that they were in love.
‘You definitely won‘t get to know something about my love from me’, thought Ryo to himself.
“Does that mean that friends can‘t walk together through a park without being suspected to be lovers?“
“No, of course not. So, you aren‘t in love at the moment?“
“No, I am not in love.“
Ryo knew the second he said it that he made a terrible mistake. If this was printed, Ueda would never forgive him. He made it clearly enough for Ryo to understand that he had absolutely no problem with showing their love to other people, but Ryo didn‘t think about it at that very moment where he was provoked by the said reporter.
The reporter left soon after that, and Ryo felt empty. He couldn‘t remember even one question the interviewer asked him after that one question, but that one kept circling around in his head. He felt lost, not knowing how to explain it to Ueda. Maybe he could just keep it a secret. Just as he did with their relationship.
*****
Ryo loved to spend time with Ueda, wherever he was, but the following days were uncomfortable for him. He didn’t speak about this interview as he usually did, and of course Ueda noticed it. Ryo tried to keep him on distance in public but wanted to have him as close as possible whenever they were alone. He noticed Ueda‘s confusion about that, too, but he was too afraid of the outcome of the interview to care about that, though it hurt him to look into Ueda’s eyes, knowing that the other was wondering what Ryo would do next.
*****
They were in the Jimusho, talking about an upcoming project. NEWS and KAT-TUN sat together since Johnny told them they would have a duet as single soon. All of them were overly excited, of course, it had been so long since they were able to sing a song together, official, having performances together, dance lessons together, vocal coaching together. It was all pretty new to them, but also interesting, so they sat around the table, discussing their ideas for the song. A ballad? An uptempo song? Everyone had their own ideas, and it wasn’t easy at all to find a solution that all 12 persons would be content with.
Ueda sat next to Ryo, snuggling against him. Obviously, he wasn’t too interested in discussing the song with the others, he was fine with everything as long as it was a pretty song with a meaning. Ryo had his arms around his boyfriend, smiling to himself. He was so lucky to have someone like Ueda by his side. He could only hope that it would stay like this.
“You have an interview tomorrow, don’t you?”, asked Ryo softly and low, so the others who were really loud anyway wouldn’t be disturbed.
Ueda just nodded, turning his head to look at him.
“Why?”
“Oh, I was just curious what you are doing without me”, grinned Ryo, kissing Ueda softly. Yes, he was lucky.
*****
After the discussion ended, Ueda had to stay in the room with KAT-TUN while NEWS left. KAT-TUN obviously needed to talk about something else and Ueda didn’t want to let Ryo go and stay behind, but Ryo was fine with it. Actually, it came really in handy for him. He walked straight through the different hallways, in the direction of Johnny’s office. Right in front of it were big plans with the activities of every group. Ryo put his finger on the huge paper and looked for KAT-TUN, then he drove with his finger along the lines until he reached ‘Interview’ and read the different notes under it. The interviewer was .. not the one who interviewed him. Ryo breathed out. Ueda was safe, he wouldn’t get to know Ryo’s answer to that question. Relieved, Ryo went home.
*****
Ueda looked at himself for the last time in the little mirror he brought with him while he walked towards his workplace. He was still a little sleepy and probably would still be during the interview but the photoshoot would wake him up for sure. And after the interview, he had a little time for himself. He wanted to check Ryo’s schedule yesterday if he was free around that time but he had to attend a meeting with KAT-TUN and was unable to go there because he just wanted to sleep afterwards. The days were tiring, the nights were short but they all did what they could to keep their dream alive.
Ueda walked straight to the room the interviewer was in. He was a little late, so the man from the magazine was probably already there. Ueda pressed the door handle down and peeked into the room. The interviewer was already there, just as he thought. With an apologizing smile he entered the room, closed the door behind him and sat down in front of the man, still smiling.
“Good Morning”, declared Ueda, still trying to be friendly though all he wanted was to go back to his bed and sleep a little longer.
“Good Morning”, replied the reporter and unpacked his bag to have access to the things he needed like a recorder or the questions he had to ask.
“You look tired. Is there a lot of work at the moment?”, asked the reporter with a worried look.
“Ah, it’s just as always, we have a lot of upcoming things, nothing special”, answered Ueda immediately. There was no need to mention how exhausting their life was.
“Or is it something else? Something you want to talk about?”
“What do you mean?” Ueda gave him a confused look.
“Like a new hobby. Or did you try harder at boxing? Or are you in love?”
As Ueda understood the question, his face brightened up. He thought for a second about his answer and how Ryo would react, but he had thought before about it a long time and was content with it. And Ryo would be, too.
“Well, you kind of guessed right. I’m in love.” He didn’t even try to hide the smile that formed in his face.
“Really? Who is it? Do I know her?” The reporter was very interested. Of course. It was a big deal if an idol fell in love and actually confessed it to interviewers. It was an even bigger deal if the person was one of Johnny’s.
And it’ll be an even bigger deal once I say the person, thought Ueda and smirked to himself.
“Yeah, I think you know him”, said Ueda, stressing the him. He enjoyed the surprised expression of his counterpart and waited a few seconds before he’d say his name.
“It’s Nishikido Ryo.”
Ueda heard the reporter gasp and looked at him with a serious face. He didn’t want to make it sound funny. After all, he was serious about Ryo.
“You - you are in love with Nishikido-san? Nishikido from NEWS?”
Ueda just nodded. “Yes.”
The interviewer seemed bewildered but continued the questions he was supposed to ask. Ueda answered just as he always did, not really remembering the questions afterwards. The shooting was okay, too, the photos were actually really good and he was proud of himself. Because he wouldn’t forget that interview. Definitely not. It was probably the most important interview in his whole life. And he would never forget it.
*****
“Ah Ryo, you are here!”, exclaimed Ueda as he walked through the hall towards Ryo who was standing in front of a coffee dispenser.
“I looked everywhere for you. Are you trying to hide?”
“Ah damn, now that you’ve found me I really can’t hide anymore, ne?”, replied Ryo with an acted worried expression, making Ueda laugh.
“You’re an idiot”, he smirked, and hit Ryo softly, careful not to spill the coffee over their shirts.
“How was the interview?”, asked Ryo while he was sipping at his coffee cup and they were slowly walking through the hall to their band rooms.
“It was interesting. Really. Though the reporter seemed to be some kind of shocked.”
“Really?” Ryo chuckled. “What did you tell him? I didn’t know you had dark secrets!”
“I just told him about us. About our relationship. That was okay, wasn’t it?” Ueda smiled and looked at his boyfriend just to make sure.
But Ryo was too surprised about what Ueda just said that he forgot everything else. He chocked on his coffee and coughed all the time, holding his cup in the right hand away from him, trying to get a hold of himself again. He did what!?
“Ryo? Ryo, are you okay?”, asked Ueda, worried, while he was patting Ryo’s back.
“Y-yes, I’m fine”, replied Ryo, still coughing, but recovering.
“I didn’t mean to shock you so much. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t prepared. L-let’s go home, okay?”
Ryo walked already towards the exit while Ueda was still standing in the hallway, then he caught up with Ryo, grabbing his hand.
“Now, it’s official.”
But Ryo knew that the real hiding would only begin now.
*****
The next day came soon, maybe too soon for Ryo’s taste. Today was the release date of the magazine the reporter who interviewed him worked for. And Ryo was nervous. Ueda loved to read his interviews, and he was always happy because of that but today was different. He couldn’t read it. He couldn’t get to know what Ryo really said. He would be hurt. Really hurt.
Ryo threw his hands up in horror, thinking of what would happen if Ueda knew.
Ryo was sitting in his bandroom, the other NEWS members were in there, too, but occupied by their own things. Ueda had to come to the Jimusho a little later today, that made it easier for Ryo to hide the magazines, but .. he had to tell the other members. And KAT-TUN, too. Well, everyone, if he didn’t want his secret to be discovered. The whole world would know what Ryo said but Ueda not. And that was Ryo’s job. He had to …
“Ryo-chan?”
Ryo looked up, startled, as the familiar voice next to him spoke. Tegoshi stood in front of him, holding one of those magazines, Ryo’s page opened, and he looked confused.
Ryo knew already what he was going to say but he let him say it anyway.
“Your interview … I have a question.”
Tegoshi kneeled down and held the magazine so that Ryo was able to look at it, too. Then Tegoshi pointed at a question and cleared his throat.
“You said … you’re not in love. But, well, you are. Is that an arrangement with Ueda?”
“No, it isn’t”, sighed Ryo, twiddling his thumps, facing the ground.
“Ueda doesn’t know about this?”, asked Tegoshi again, thinking.
“No, he doesn’t. He thinks I didn’t speak about that topic. And if I had, I’m sure he expected me to tell them we’re lovebirds and the happiest couple on earth."
“Why didn’t you?”
Ryo glared at Tegoshi. Wasn’t Tegoshi the intelligent one? Why did he have to ask so many questions?
“I thought you are happy.”
“We are!”, replied Ryo immediately. “But I wasn’t ready to show it in public. But … the problem is that Ueda gave an interview yesterday, too, and told them about us. I can make him overread the question though, for today, but what shall I do when the next article appears? It’ll be a big deal!”
“Ryo-chan … I think you have the problem already today.”
Ryo looked up. “Why?”
Tegoshi thumbed through the magazine until he found the page he was looking for. Ryo’s eyes widened as he understood what was written there. His loss.
UEDA TATSUYA AND NISHIKIDO RYO: WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON BETWEEN THEM?
There’s a great confusion over the relationship of Nishikido Ryo and Ueda Tatsuya, both famous Johnny’s. Ueda Tatsuya, 25, KAT-TUN, and Nishikido Ryo, 24, NEWS, are rumoured to be in a relationship due to Ueda’s statement in an interview with us. He seemed very serious about that fact but it’s not quite clear that he was saying the truth. It was a coincidence that we asked Nishikido Ryo just a day before about that matter too, because someone said he had seen them together, and surprisingly Nishikido’s answer was ‘No’, without a sign of him lying. So now we’re in the dark what’s going on between them. We’re sure though that it’ll be cleared soon, after all Johnny is a reliable agency. But the question remains: If they are in a relationship, why did Nishikido deny it? And if they aren’t in a relationship, why did Ueda make the story up? Many questions but no answers. We’re trying to contact both of them as soon as possible and ask them about that matter, but currently they aren’t reachable. What do you think? Are they in a relationship and Nishikido lied about it, or aren’t they and Ueda just thought of the story?
Ryo sat back. This wasn’t quite what he expected. It was the story he didn’t want to appear. But now it was there, today. Ueda must have had an interview with the same magazine but a different reporter. Ryo didn’t check that. I’m so stupid!
He wasn’t close to tears, he wasn’t sad, he wasn’t excited, he wasn’t nervous. He didn’t feel anything at all. Maybe despair. Yes, he was desperated. Because he didn’t have a clue what he should do.
“Ryo-chan? Are you okay?”
The worried voice of Tegoshi made him come back to reality.
“What would you do?”, he asked in a low voice.
“Try to explain?”
“He wouldn’t understand. He would feel like I stabbed him in the back, because we actually talked about making it official. And now Tatsuya looks like a liar to the rest of the world. And he would be hurt, because I denied our love. I’m sure he’ll doubt my love for him. I can’t do that.”
“Let’s hide the magazines”, said Tegoshi suddenly, slammed the magazine shut and ran to the other members.
“Yamapi, Massu, Kei-chan, Shige! Please help Ryo-chan and try everything to hide the magazines. If you see Ueda reading one of them, try to distract him. Please!”
The others looked baffled, but when they remembered the article, they agreed immediately, giving Ryo a worried look.
“Morning!”, yelled Ueda as he opened the door and walked in, obviously in a good mood. He went straight towards Ryo, giving him a kiss, greeting the other NEWS members too.
“Something happened?”, he asked as he noticed the tense atmosphere in the room, especially Ryo sitting at the other side of the room like a picture of misery.
“No, everything’s fine”, he exclaimed suddenly, jumping up. “I was just a bit tired.” He yawned exaggerated and Ueda smacked him smiling.
“Idiot.”
I’m a bigger idiot than you actually think, said Ryo to himself.
“I’m going to work then! See you later, love. Bye bye!”
Ueda waved, still in an unbelievable good mood, and left the room.
Ryo tried to smile, but he failed. “Well, that wasn’t too bad, was it?”
“Shit, Ryo!”, exclaimed Tegoshi suddenly, running towards him. “KAT-TUN!”
Ryo didn’t realize it at first but his eyes widened in shock after Tegoshi grabbed his hand and dragged him outside. He understood. He just let Ueda walk towards the greatest danger of discovering Ryo’s secret.
“Run faster, we’re going to be too late!”, grumbled Tegoshi as they were running down the corridor to reach KAT-TUN’s room as fast as possible. They could hear their voices already.
“Tat-chan! Did you read already? I think we have to talk …”
“Shit! What do we do now?”, whined Ryo, stopping right in front of the room, helpless. Tegoshi just sighed before he grabbed the door handle and nearly jumped into the room.
“Ueda!”
All eyes were on Tegoshi, and he blushed a little, trying to think as fast as possible of a good reason to go to this room. He noticed that Ueda was just about to take the magazine from Kame’s hand, and he felt his body getting warmer. It had to be fast now.
“Can you come with me for a moment?”, he asked, more stuttering than asking, but understandable.
“What for?”, asked Ueda obviously confused. After all he just left the NEWS room.
“I need your help. I … I wanted to compose a new song .. and … I can’t seem to get the right melody … would you help me? Your compositions are so good!”
Tegoshi’s thoughts were going crazy. Which song? Tegoshi didn’t write songs. Not any songs Ueda could help him with. He wrote lyrics from time to time, but he didn’t arrange them with music. There was only one … and he didn’t want Ueda to read the lyrics. But … did he have any other choice?
“Okay, I’ll come with you”, smiled Ueda, looking at his band members. “I’ll be right back once we’re finished.”
Ryo sighed in front of the door, until he realized he had to hide himself, hearing the footsteps of Tegoshi and Ueda.
“What for a song?”, asked Ueda, obviously interested in Tegoshi’s song.
“Not a ballad, so far. Probably something faster. But I haven’t decided yet”, lied Tegoshi. He had that song pretty clear in his head, but what for did he need help then?
Nishikido Ryo, you owe me something. Something big.
******************************************
A/N: I'm not a native English speaker, so first of all I apologize for my mistakes in this :) I think I've improved since the first time I wrote RyoDa but there's still a lot I can do better, so critique is appreciated! ~ Thanks for reading, I hope you were able to enjoy this. ♥
Seriously, someone give me 48hour days and/or weekends? I need to catch up with fanics I wanted to read but instead I keep writing xD I'm happy the RyoDa community goes through some changes now. It'll be awesome for sure :D I hope I didn't fail too much with this :>
Comments are always welcome as they make me feel good and motivate me. :) And sorry for the uncreative title of this! xD I started writing this when I listened a lot to Big Bang and I had this title just stuck in my head. The (upcoming) lighter blue lines which aren't thoughts in this are from a songext: Big Bang - Haru Haru ♥
I thought about posting this on different days to make it easier to read and decided for it but I guess all 3 parts at once are too much? I hope it's not too weird to read it in chapters because it's actually supposed to be a One Shot and the time span of the plot isn't very long - so I hope it's okay like this :). And LJ decided not to let me post it in once, so here we go with 3 parts! I will update the next parts day by day, so the last part should be up on Wednesday, when I have the time. I try to but I'm not sure because I have tests on Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. :/
*goes off to study physics* Seriously, who invented this stuff D: