(no subject)
There are times in life when we stumble across an epiphany ~ a profound realization. It is in this time that things seem to make sense (for once), and all the world is right. You suddenly know exactly where you are going, how to get there, and what to do when you arrive.
Sometimes, you need that "lightbulb" to flash on more than once. It has, today, flashed again for me. This clicking together of my life's pieces said that 1. I am only whole with Takashi, and 2. No matter what happens, I will be happy.
I need not be nervous, for whatever I say will make us stronger, I think. Even if he gently refuses my heart, I hope that our friendship becomes honest enough to be intimate about anything and everything.
And Josh and I can still be on friendly terms. Just as I predicted, being home and away from him has reminded me what is truly precious to me, and what are lies. Though it's possible for happiness to spring from complacency, it is more fulfilling to pursue that which sets ignites your consuming passions.
It's like trying to light a fire. Soggy, generic wood will not take to the flame. You must wait for it to dry. Perhaps it rains for months; it may take months or several years for the logs to completely dry so that they will light. Once the fire is made, it has either a generic or somewhat obnoxious scent to its smoke. But if you start with good, dry logs - hickory, for example - it will be easier to light. And everything that cooks on that fire will carry that exquisite flavour given to it by the smoke from said logs.
I have a hickory log, and I hope to be able to start that kind of fire with him. Ah, metaphors. Love makes a poet out of us all, doesn't it? No, not really. It first makes me enraged, then into a complete fool.
Sometimes, you need that "lightbulb" to flash on more than once. It has, today, flashed again for me. This clicking together of my life's pieces said that 1. I am only whole with Takashi, and 2. No matter what happens, I will be happy.
I need not be nervous, for whatever I say will make us stronger, I think. Even if he gently refuses my heart, I hope that our friendship becomes honest enough to be intimate about anything and everything.
And Josh and I can still be on friendly terms. Just as I predicted, being home and away from him has reminded me what is truly precious to me, and what are lies. Though it's possible for happiness to spring from complacency, it is more fulfilling to pursue that which sets ignites your consuming passions.
It's like trying to light a fire. Soggy, generic wood will not take to the flame. You must wait for it to dry. Perhaps it rains for months; it may take months or several years for the logs to completely dry so that they will light. Once the fire is made, it has either a generic or somewhat obnoxious scent to its smoke. But if you start with good, dry logs - hickory, for example - it will be easier to light. And everything that cooks on that fire will carry that exquisite flavour given to it by the smoke from said logs.
I have a hickory log, and I hope to be able to start that kind of fire with him. Ah, metaphors. Love makes a poet out of us all, doesn't it? No, not really. It first makes me enraged, then into a complete fool.