The End of the Road
September 8 - I think this is the end of the road for Martell and me. He texted me yesterday and told me that he is planning on going to a college out of state. I asked him what this meant for us, and he said that he doesn't think a long distance relationship would work, but that time would tell. I can't wait for time. So I texted him later that night and said I wanted to talk to him and asked if he thought we should break up now or if we should see if this could maybe work. He called me so that we could talk about it and he just kind of beat around the bush. He would never just come out and say, "Yes, Gina, I think we should separate." When I would ask him directly, "Do you think we should break up?" He wouldn't just say "yes" or "no." Because I refused to take a direct answer, he just said, "Ahh, fuck it we're still together." Also, he mentioned his new job again. He wouldn't tell me because he said it would make me mad, but he did say it was at a warehouse. Most likely, he's fucking making drugs and it doesn't make me mad, it pisses me off. After that, he had to go because his mom wanted him.
He was supposed to call me this morning, but he didn't. If he doesn't call me today, I'll call him tomorrow and after talking to him about this "job" of his, I guess I will tell him that it's ok that WE ARE just friends, meaning at this point, we're friends and not a couple. I really don't want to say that, I don't. But if he wants to break up and he's too stubborn to say it, I'll make his wish come true.
I'm really heartbroken... of course, I'm retaining this fantasy that after college, he'll come back to me. Which could happen, but if it doesn't, then that's what it is. But *sigh* it's going to be so hard.
I just really need to talk to him so I can finish it and declare our relationship done, with no ifs, ands, or buts. But ahh, I don't want it to be over.. I don't...
He was supposed to call me this morning, but he didn't. If he doesn't call me today, I'll call him tomorrow and after talking to him about this "job" of his, I guess I will tell him that it's ok that WE ARE just friends, meaning at this point, we're friends and not a couple. I really don't want to say that, I don't. But if he wants to break up and he's too stubborn to say it, I'll make his wish come true.
I'm really heartbroken... of course, I'm retaining this fantasy that after college, he'll come back to me. Which could happen, but if it doesn't, then that's what it is. But *sigh* it's going to be so hard.
I just really need to talk to him so I can finish it and declare our relationship done, with no ifs, ands, or buts. But ahh, I don't want it to be over.. I don't...