Chucky's In Love!
Dollhouse: 1-11: Briar Rose
The DollHouse Doctor (hahahah, now I get it!) assures Avuncular Guy and us that Alpha is Dead. "They tracked him down and put a bullet in his brain." She kind of acts like she believes it. Oh Honey, how many horror films have you seen? The whole second half of any horror film is about the Horror Villain dying and dying and dying and dead. No wait, dying again and again and again.....AND SEQUEL!
Anyway, our Hero (?) XFBI Agent Ballard, is feverishly persuing his Grand Conspiracy Theory Obsession about the Dollhouse....
He has tied his living room up in knots following the money, the dolls, his wet dreams?; I really don't know what he is following, but it has given his living room decor a certain individual distinction. Call Martha Stewart, she might want to see this. It's like early American Bureauo-cratic.
XFBI Agent Ballard has also been tying his own personal Dollie, November, in knots as she lies splayed on his bed. Then he dumps her, because, she is not real. So she can be treated like dirt, because she is not a Real Person. But XFBI Agent Ballard is only interested in the Dollhouse to free the Dollies because they are Real People who are Enslaved. But not November, because she is not Real, she is not Enslaved, she is a Dollie. And when XFBI Agent Ballard has the chance to free her, he doesn't. Because she is not a Real Person like the other Dollies, specifically Echo. Are you following the tortuous logic of XFBI Agent Ballard?
Let us follow the broken hearted November....
She is about to throw herself off a bridge over a California State Highway. XFBI Agent Ballard broke her heart. Her heart is easily broken because of past events that no imprint can wipe out. But her Dollhouse Runner saves her and takes her back to the Dollhouse to get a Broken Heart Treatment.
XFBI Agent Ballard follows them there....
XFBI Agent Ballard is an opportunist and selfish ass...he is a creep. Let's say it, XFBI Agent Ballard is a CREEP.
Where is Echo?
Echo is in a third grade school room reading the story of Briar Rose....
The story sounds like Sleeping Beauty to me---spindle, wicked fairy godmother (Mme DeWitt), prickin' of the thumbs, something wicked this way comes, and the handsome prince to the rescue. Well NOW, we know that it can't be XFBI Agent Ballard because he is a certified CREEP and I certified him as one. I guess that Mr. Whedon couldn't get the rights to the Sleeping Beauty story from Disney, so he had to use the name of Briar Rose to cover his copyright tracks. But I would really like Disney to find out about his copyright shenanigans and start a fight with Fox about it. Just think, that fight could be better than Godzilla and Mothra in Tokyo Bay!
But instead of Disney and Fox ripping Los Angeles to shreds in their Epic Copyright Battle for the Ages, we get to watch some little girl named Susan rip up the Book of Briar Rose during story time. I tell you, these show budgets have got to be increased.
Echo's name is Susan and it turns out that this is all an experiment by Topher. Topher took an imprint of Little Susan (and by the way, who is calling Child Protective Services about this? An eleven year old girl gets imprinted? She can't give consent and her parents are unavailable to give it. The Dollhouse is running amuck in Child Protective Services? Little Susan should be playing with dolls, not being set up to be one).
Topher took Little Susan's brain and tweaked it and made a Big Susan brain and put it in Echo.
Oh Clever Child Molesting Topher!
Topher, identify yourself for the Child Molester Poster that we will scattering around the neighborhood.
Echo is going to guide Little Susan out of her violent fits and molested feelings. Big Susan is going to help Little Susan re-write her story....
It's called Editing.
Meanwhile, back with our first CREEP, XFBI Agent Ballard, who by the way, has a File on the Dollhouse---an XFILE! kept by an XFBI Agent named Ballard. Sounds kind of like Mulder, doesn't it?---what is it with all these Conspiracy Theory Obsessives in the FBI? Also, "ADDLED" and Ballard, so close, hmmmm....
XFBI Agent Ballard has discovered that the Dollhouse and the FBI Headquarters look very much alike...
Dollhouse...
FBI....
Could that be because they are? Essentially the SAME THING?
This doesn't occur to XFBI Agent Ballard. Instead, he goes to hunt up the Environmental Architect who built the Dollhouse, because XFBI Agent Ballard wants in, you know, to free all the enslaved Dollies but November.
Who is the Environmental Architect? Steven Keppler who is now ordering Thai food....
and growing Medicinal Carrots (they are good for the eyes, you know, night vision and glaucoma)....
Mr. Keppler is also the Employee of the Month of his firm.
Mr. Keppler is played by Alan Tudyk. I will be downloading this episode into my permanent files.
And once again, Firefly, Mr. Tudyk, and Blue Sun. Just saying.
XFBI Agent Ballard and Keppler decide to break into the Dollhouse, because Keppler knows how to, and pursue their John Brown mission to free the Dollies, except for November, she can just lie a molderin' in her pod for all XFBI Agent Ballard cares.
You ever notice how everything is underground in this show? Lily Foundry was the underground way into the Rossum Building at the University, now we go underground to the Dollhouse. It's the Underground Railway for Dollies. Perhaps I should be referring to Sojourner Truth's Escape Route?
The Sojourner Truth Boys (Ballard and Keppler) sneak around the Dollhouse in their jammies and plot Freedom! for all the Dollies, but November.
Keppler has a problem with stair risers. Like me, he likes them to be there, otherwise you are asking for trouble.
Keppler high kicks his way down the Dollie stairs like a show girl....
And XFBI Agent frees Echo (who is back from her remedial third grade class). But Echo has Stockholm Survivor's Syndrome and cock-stair-risers XFBI Agent Ballard....
Everybody ends up in trouble in the Principal's Office (Mme DeWitt's office) blaming and recriminating....
Except for Keppler, who has other plans...
Because Keppler is ALPHA or ∝ as he signed himself in Art Class.
ALPHA threatens the Dollhouse Doctor (Haha)...
And slices up Victor, or shall we call him, Victim, from now on?
And ALPHA runs AMUCK in the Dollhouse! It's Pandemonium!
Can we be sure that it was Medicinal Carrots that ALPHA was growing in his apartment? It appears to be Medicinal Meth to me.
ALPHA is a Rogue Doll! He is CHUCKY (who also liked to slice and dice)! See how much they look alike?
ALPHA
CHUCKY!
Damn! We are in the middle of a Chucky Sequel! Who saw that coming?
ALPHA (not that CREEP XFBI Agent Ballard) frees Echo and puts her in the chair and restores her to....
The Bride of Chucky!
And then APLHA and Echo run off together and live happily ever after.....
The End.
Good Episode.
The DollHouse Doctor (hahahah, now I get it!) assures Avuncular Guy and us that Alpha is Dead. "They tracked him down and put a bullet in his brain." She kind of acts like she believes it. Oh Honey, how many horror films have you seen? The whole second half of any horror film is about the Horror Villain dying and dying and dying and dead. No wait, dying again and again and again.....AND SEQUEL!
Anyway, our Hero (?) XFBI Agent Ballard, is feverishly persuing his Grand Conspiracy Theory Obsession about the Dollhouse....
He has tied his living room up in knots following the money, the dolls, his wet dreams?; I really don't know what he is following, but it has given his living room decor a certain individual distinction. Call Martha Stewart, she might want to see this. It's like early American Bureauo-cratic.
XFBI Agent Ballard has also been tying his own personal Dollie, November, in knots as she lies splayed on his bed. Then he dumps her, because, she is not real. So she can be treated like dirt, because she is not a Real Person. But XFBI Agent Ballard is only interested in the Dollhouse to free the Dollies because they are Real People who are Enslaved. But not November, because she is not Real, she is not Enslaved, she is a Dollie. And when XFBI Agent Ballard has the chance to free her, he doesn't. Because she is not a Real Person like the other Dollies, specifically Echo. Are you following the tortuous logic of XFBI Agent Ballard?
Let us follow the broken hearted November....
She is about to throw herself off a bridge over a California State Highway. XFBI Agent Ballard broke her heart. Her heart is easily broken because of past events that no imprint can wipe out. But her Dollhouse Runner saves her and takes her back to the Dollhouse to get a Broken Heart Treatment.
XFBI Agent Ballard follows them there....
XFBI Agent Ballard is an opportunist and selfish ass...he is a creep. Let's say it, XFBI Agent Ballard is a CREEP.
Where is Echo?
Echo is in a third grade school room reading the story of Briar Rose....
The story sounds like Sleeping Beauty to me---spindle, wicked fairy godmother (Mme DeWitt), prickin' of the thumbs, something wicked this way comes, and the handsome prince to the rescue. Well NOW, we know that it can't be XFBI Agent Ballard because he is a certified CREEP and I certified him as one. I guess that Mr. Whedon couldn't get the rights to the Sleeping Beauty story from Disney, so he had to use the name of Briar Rose to cover his copyright tracks. But I would really like Disney to find out about his copyright shenanigans and start a fight with Fox about it. Just think, that fight could be better than Godzilla and Mothra in Tokyo Bay!
But instead of Disney and Fox ripping Los Angeles to shreds in their Epic Copyright Battle for the Ages, we get to watch some little girl named Susan rip up the Book of Briar Rose during story time. I tell you, these show budgets have got to be increased.
Echo's name is Susan and it turns out that this is all an experiment by Topher. Topher took an imprint of Little Susan (and by the way, who is calling Child Protective Services about this? An eleven year old girl gets imprinted? She can't give consent and her parents are unavailable to give it. The Dollhouse is running amuck in Child Protective Services? Little Susan should be playing with dolls, not being set up to be one).
Topher took Little Susan's brain and tweaked it and made a Big Susan brain and put it in Echo.
Oh Clever Child Molesting Topher!
Topher, identify yourself for the Child Molester Poster that we will scattering around the neighborhood.
Echo is going to guide Little Susan out of her violent fits and molested feelings. Big Susan is going to help Little Susan re-write her story....
It's called Editing.
Meanwhile, back with our first CREEP, XFBI Agent Ballard, who by the way, has a File on the Dollhouse---an XFILE! kept by an XFBI Agent named Ballard. Sounds kind of like Mulder, doesn't it?---what is it with all these Conspiracy Theory Obsessives in the FBI? Also, "ADDLED" and Ballard, so close, hmmmm....
XFBI Agent Ballard has discovered that the Dollhouse and the FBI Headquarters look very much alike...
Dollhouse...
FBI....
Could that be because they are? Essentially the SAME THING?
This doesn't occur to XFBI Agent Ballard. Instead, he goes to hunt up the Environmental Architect who built the Dollhouse, because XFBI Agent Ballard wants in, you know, to free all the enslaved Dollies but November.
Who is the Environmental Architect? Steven Keppler who is now ordering Thai food....
and growing Medicinal Carrots (they are good for the eyes, you know, night vision and glaucoma)....
Mr. Keppler is also the Employee of the Month of his firm.
Mr. Keppler is played by Alan Tudyk. I will be downloading this episode into my permanent files.
And once again, Firefly, Mr. Tudyk, and Blue Sun. Just saying.
XFBI Agent Ballard and Keppler decide to break into the Dollhouse, because Keppler knows how to, and pursue their John Brown mission to free the Dollies, except for November, she can just lie a molderin' in her pod for all XFBI Agent Ballard cares.
You ever notice how everything is underground in this show? Lily Foundry was the underground way into the Rossum Building at the University, now we go underground to the Dollhouse. It's the Underground Railway for Dollies. Perhaps I should be referring to Sojourner Truth's Escape Route?
The Sojourner Truth Boys (Ballard and Keppler) sneak around the Dollhouse in their jammies and plot Freedom! for all the Dollies, but November.
Keppler has a problem with stair risers. Like me, he likes them to be there, otherwise you are asking for trouble.
Keppler high kicks his way down the Dollie stairs like a show girl....
And XFBI Agent frees Echo (who is back from her remedial third grade class). But Echo has Stockholm Survivor's Syndrome and cock-stair-risers XFBI Agent Ballard....
Everybody ends up in trouble in the Principal's Office (Mme DeWitt's office) blaming and recriminating....
Except for Keppler, who has other plans...
Because Keppler is ALPHA or ∝ as he signed himself in Art Class.
ALPHA threatens the Dollhouse Doctor (Haha)...
And slices up Victor, or shall we call him, Victim, from now on?
And ALPHA runs AMUCK in the Dollhouse! It's Pandemonium!
Can we be sure that it was Medicinal Carrots that ALPHA was growing in his apartment? It appears to be Medicinal Meth to me.
ALPHA is a Rogue Doll! He is CHUCKY (who also liked to slice and dice)! See how much they look alike?
ALPHA
CHUCKY!
Damn! We are in the middle of a Chucky Sequel! Who saw that coming?
ALPHA (not that CREEP XFBI Agent Ballard) frees Echo and puts her in the chair and restores her to....
The Bride of Chucky!
And then APLHA and Echo run off together and live happily ever after.....
The End.
Good Episode.