(no subject)
Chapter Six.
There wasn’t any easy way to deal with it. Despite her feelings, Quinn knew it would take a while to fully believe what was happening to them. After all the movies they’d watched that month, nothing concrete came out of them. As the years passed, the werewolves stories were deformed until they were no longer wolves but gigantic dogs, furry haired and with full human thoughts, able to change from person to wolf by sheer will within painless seconds. But Rachel and her were different, a far cry from that. It was, in a way, a little disappointing. Sure, those werewolves were way cooler and maybe even happier, but they weren’t real. The older, darker stories were more accurate, and they identified with them. Rachel still insisted they’d find some answers hidden in books and movies, and Quinn could only hope they did.
It seemed that the more they knew, the more they remembered. It was both good and bad. On the next transformation, although they weren’t able to remember everything, they remembered the pain acutely. Rachel guessed they passed out or blacked out before because their bodies weren’t accustomed to such pain and, surely, a transformation so unnatural; they were only theories, but they were all they had. Hanging a bag of clothes turned out to be helpful, as Rachel wasn’t able to rescue any of her clothes, and they had met each other at the end of the path at noon. It had been a little awkward, but it felt marvelous as well, to be able to go home together and to know they weren’t alone. Sometimes Quinn found herself thinking about what would have happened if Rachel hadn’t saved her that night. Would have both of them died? Would Rachel be safe and Quinn dead? Would Quinn still be having blackouts alone, thinking she’d gone insane? A selfish part of her dared to be relieved Rachel was going through this with her, and she didn’t know if it was because she was scared to be alone, or because they now shared a bond they weren’t able to explain yet. But another part of her wondered if Rachel realized she may not be going through this had she not saved Quinn. She wondered if the brunette resented her, or if she regretted putting herself between Quinn and that werewolf. But she daren’t ask, because what if it was true? What if Rachel resented her? Regretted saving her? Quinn rather died then, if that was the case.
&&&
“Do you think we’ll remember more this time?” Quinn asked as they drove to the woods to leave a backpack. Headaches had stated that day.
“I hope so. While I admit it’s slightly terrifying and that I do not wish to suffer the pain again, I have hope that, the more we remember, we’ll be able to control ourselves one day.”
“You still think it’s us who’s killing Mr. Linton’s sheep, don’t you?”
“The dates match, Quinn! If I’m going to be a werewolf, it is my duty to learn to control my abilities as best as I can! I don’t want to kill innocent animals.” She finished in a whisper.
“But if it’s instinct, you can’t help it.”
“We don’t know that.” Rachel said sharply. “I’ll never know if I can help it until I try to.”
“I don’t think we’ll get that far this time, though.”
“I know that, but we have to try, remember? Convince ourselves to remember, starting today.”
“I hope this plan works, Rachel.” Quinn said gently, a lingering, unsaid thought filling the air around them.
“You’re scared about seeing each other.” Rachel stated. It made Quinn wonder if it was that sixth sense she mentioned sometimes, or if it was that bond that tided them. She felt it, knew Rachel felt it, too. Whether it they created it subconsciously or if it was something else beyond their control, she wasn’t sure.
“We’re wild.” Quinn whispered at last. “What if… we attack each other? What if I hurt you?”
“I could hurt you.” Rachel joked. She became somber when she realized the implications. “I don’t think… remember… when I saved you?”
Quinn’s heart started beating wildly in her chest. Was this it? Was Rachel finally going to admit she regretted it?
“Of course.” She breathed out. “I’ll never forget.”
Rachel nodded.
“I did it without really thinking about it. It was… instinct. Of course I’ll do it again consciously, even knowing the consequences. But… I’m saying I don’t ever think I’ll hurt you. My instinct is to protect you. Even… even as a wolf, I don’t think I’ll ever hurt you.”
Quinn bit her lip as she tried to regulate her breathing, stop her tears. She took a deep breath.
“You don’t… regret… saving me? You may not be in this situation if you hadn’t.” Quinn took a second to look from the road to Rachel’s face when she didn’t answer. The brunette was gaping at her, an unreadable emotion on her features.
“You may not be alive if I hadn’t.” Rachel whispered at last.
Quinn nodded slowly, feeling a headache coming again.
“You do know that’s all that matters, right?” Rachel whispered once more. “It’s all that matters to me.”
She didn’t know how to answer that. What could she possibly say? So she took Rachel’s hand in her own and squeezed, silently giving her thanks, giving all that her words couldn’t properly express.
&&&
All the walking was conscious now; even if her body did as it pleased, Rachel knew that was happening. There was no panic now, even if the thought of the pain that came with the transformation frightened her. Either way, happiness came along with the afternoon. Knowing the Moon was coming prevented her brain to worry about the pain. She thought about Quinn; surely she was happy too, now that the Moon was coming. It became darker as she started running, laughing as she passed through the trees. She began shedding her clothes carelessly, running faster still as her muscles worked and fever made her sweat. With the Moon bright above her, bathing her, Rachel fell to the floor, a moment of panic filling her brain as what was going to happen sunk in. Her laughter became a scream as her muscles stretched beyond humanly possible, feeling as they burned like a blaze, as her body arched off the ground and she tumbled sideways to fall on her deforming hands and knees. Her head felt like it was imploding and she lost the ability to scream in agony, to make a sound, as everything inside her transformed. Her neck stretched after her spine cracked and the scream she hadn’t stopped trying to release came out nasal and louder, a howl that filled everything inside her and around her. Soon, her sounds were accompanied by others, far away; a distant howl that made her spine arch for a second before she crunched down, front paws stretched forward against the ground and ears listening intently. But then it was over and she crashed her teeth together before clenching her jaw and sprinting forward, running ahead in search for that smell that filled her nostrils and flooded her brain, making her unable to think about anything else.
&&&
Quinn jumped from the ground as soon as she woke up, looking around warily and covering her bare chest. She was alone, as always, but something in the back of her mind had her body in alarm. Trying to remember the night before as she tried to find her clothes was like grasping at a fading dream; if she stopped thinking about it for a second, she’d forget. The day part was always the same, and she was able to remember everything because (Rachel suggested) she was still human at that point, even if her body worked all day to be able to transform itself at night. Her oversized shirt was lying in a heap next to a tree, and she crunched down resting on its body to pick it up with shaking hands. After what felt like a lot of time searching, she gave up and headed for the river. There was something… something in the back of her mind… She knew her mind was trying to suppress it and she was fighting against it. It felt important. As she submerged in the water in a jump, the memory came back to her like a punch in the brain; it literally felt like that.
Her hands and feet -her paws, were hitting the ground steadily, a thump-thump that reverberated through the trees in the otherwise silent ambient. There was a scent that charmed her, had her running forward to it. Her lungs worked easily against the warm night air, filling and releasing, and her lungs were heady with the scent that reached her every time she breathed in. Her tongue came out to lick her snout as the halted close to the source, one front paw into the air as she slowly rounded what was covering her pray from view. But her body froze at the sight and smell and feel of the other creature before her. Its scent was something else entirely, both threatening and mesmerizing. Its body was grand and its hair almost as black as the night. She found herself baring her teeth to it, without making any sound. The creature scared her, and the creature was eating one of her prays. She stood on edge, unable to tear her gaze away from the beast before her, trying to decide the wisest next move. The creature’s scent was familiar; she recognized it as something akin to her own, but she didn’t know if a fight was wise, if it was even an option. Eventually, hunger and impatience decided for her as she walked backwards, until the creature was far away. Then she turned around and headed for a weaker, but not less appealing smell.
Quinn was still on edge as she approached the tree were the backpack was hidden, only to be met with the sight of Rachel Berry, in all her naked back glory.
“Don’t turn around.” Quinn warned shakily.
“Okay!” Rachel shouted back, digging into the backpack and finding a shirt. “Do you need anything?”
“Some, um… pants. I found my sneakers while I walked here.”
Rachel turned around and threw a pair of sweatpants at her, but Quinn flinched as reflex and let them drop to the ground.
“Are you ok?” Rachel was next to her in three long strides, raising a shaking hand to Quinn’s face and tilting it up. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
Quinn shook her head and bowed to put on the pants. Should she tell Rachel she saw her? Would Rachel truly want to know she killed a sheep hours ago? She knew she had to know, it was progress. One of Quinn’s fears had proven itself inconsequential, she had beaten her brain in trying to suppress her memory and she had controlled herself in front of Rachel. Everything was amazing if a part of it wouldn’t dishearten Rachel.
“Quinn, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m really sore, can we go home?”
“Sure.” Rachel didn’t sound or looked convinced as she reached down to shoulder the backpack and Quinn had to help her stand straight again. “Looks like I’m a lot sore, too. I remember running a lot.”
“Yeah, me too.” Quinn mumbled, lacing her arm with the brunette’s. “Do you want to go to my house, maybe eat vegan crepes?” Perhaps she could charm Rachel with vegan food and maybe it would make her feel better… yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.
&&&
Rachel waited two weeks until she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Quinn was acting weird. She could tell the blonde was hiding something from her since the last transformation, and she was scared of what the blonde might have saw or did. Whatever they had couldn’t work if there wasn’t trust, if they were holding back. Since summer vacations had started, Quinn made up excuses not to see each other. Hanging out with Sam, with Brittany and Santana, doing things with her mom, insanely skating schedules… Rachel was no fool. Just two days ago, Quinn said she was going to Santana’s house when Rachel knew very well she was on Cancun with her family.
No matter how scared she was about the reason her friend was holding back, Rachel had to know the truth. So if The Wizard didn’t come to Dorothy, Dorothy would go to The Wizard. That’s how she ended up knocking on the Fabray home at two in the afternoon. Quinn opened the door grumbly, a towel around her body and short wet hair clinging to her neck. She immediately brightened when she saw Rachel on her doorstep and then grimaced a second later.
“Hello Quinn.” Rachel said sternly, pursing her lips.
“Hi Rach, I was just about… to call you. Um, come in?”
“Thank you.” The brunette stepped into the house and crossed her arms across her chest.
“So… how are you? I haven’t seen you in, like…”
“A week.”
“Right. So…” Quinn scratched the back of her neck uncomfortably and looked up when she heard the other girl sigh.
“Quinn, can we talk?” Rachel asked tentatively. She hadn’t seen her so unsure in front of her for quite a while, and it was an unwelcomed sight. Quinn immediately knew she had made a mistake in staying away from Rachel.
She nodded, walking to the kitchen and sitting on a stool by the island. Rachel imitated her position in front of her and Quinn took a deep breath to steady herself.
“I know I’ve been avoiding you… I’m… so sorry.”
“What happened?” Rachel bit her lip when they hurt didn’t stay away from her voice. “Did I do something to upset you, because I truly -“
“No! Rach, wait, let me explain. Okay?” She waited until she got a nod in response. “The last time we… you know… I remembered something. And… I was reluctant to tell you because there’s good news, but also a bad one.”
“I want the bad one first.” Rachel blurted out.
“They kind of come together, so…” Quinn took a deep breath. “I was running… there was this scent… I couldn’t stay away, so I ran towards it and there was… Mr. Linton’s farm.” Rachel gasped. “I went slowly around it and there they were… the sheep.”
“Oh, no.”
“I’m sorry, Rachel… I stood back because there was something else there. It was a black wolf and it was eating -“
“It was me.” Rachel covered her face with her hands, and Quinn could see her shoulders trembling. She quickly stood up, forgetting the towel that feel to the floor, and wrapped her arms around the other girl’s waist.
“I didn’t want to upset you.” Quinn whispered, Rachel’s tears affecting her beyond her comprehension. “I didn’t want to tell you, but I also couldn’t lie to your face.”
Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn’s neck at that, and they stood there for a while as she sobbed and hiccupped.
“I’m sorry; my tears are all over your shoulder.” Rachel tried to wipe them away with her palms as she pulled away.
“It’s okay.” Quinn murmured as she stroked Rachel’s hair away from her face and dried her tears with her thumbs. “I was in the pool, so…” She shrugged. “Water?”
Rachel nodded and whipped at her face with the bottom of her t-shirt, calming down her breathing.
“It’s still hard to control strong emotions.” She excused herself.
“I slapped Santana in the face.” Quinn confessed as she handed her the glass. Rachel raised both eyebrows. “I got mad at her for something she said and I couldn’t control myself. Thankfully Britt was there, otherwise Santana would’ve punched me back.”
Rachel chuckled after gulping down her water and Quinn got a small satisfaction from that.
“And the good news?”
“Can’t you figure it out yourself?” The blonde raised an eyebrow. She watched as her friend scrunched her face up in thought, coming out blank.
“I saw you, Rachel!” The brunette grimaced and she was quick to correct herself. “You were there, and I could see you and smell you and you had my pray!” Rachel’s lower lip trembled. Fuck. “Rachel, I walked away! I didn’t hurt you!” Quinn beamed as she grabbed onto the brunette’s shoulders to make her understand.
“Oh.” Realization dawned upon her and her face lit up. She grabbed both of Quinn’s hands, keeping them in place. “How did you do it?”
“You were… a part of me saw you as a threat, I think… but your smell… uh, it was special; similar to mine, but calming. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like… I knew I wouldn’t hurt you, so I left.”
“That’s interesting.” Rachel hopped off the stool, giving Quinn only a second to step back. “Do you think we’ll recognize each other as werewolves or maybe somehow realize we know each other? Perhaps there’s something meaningful about being bitten by the same werewolf, like we share some supernatural bond! That should explain a few things about why we can sense some things about each other and I think I read something in that web page… -“
Quinn sighed as Rachel started rambling on her own and wasn’t really talking to her anymore. She wouldn’t be able to catch up on her line of thought, so it was better to just wait until Rachel came out with a clean theory they could discuss. Turning towards the stove, she set the pot for the green tea Rachel would surely want in a few minutes and quickly went out the back door to put on the bathrobe she’d left by the pool. There wasn’t going to be any more lounging today, she was sure of that. She grabbed the stack of papers from the bottom drawer along with a pen and handed it to Rachel when she started waving her hands around, as if thoughts were pouring from her ears and losing themselves in the air. Grabbing two mugs, Quinn chuckled as Rachel sat down on a stool once more and began scrabbling away furiously. At least she had taken things relatively well, and they didn’t have to stay away anymore. Quinn sighed, only a week had been too long.