(no subject)
Calm down Carol o_o
I dont have any pictures. I didnt ever have time to buy a camera, but Rachels mom took pictures and she said shed get doubles and give me the copies. Let me repeat again. I DONT HAVE PICTURES
*fights off anxious mobs with a small stick*
It all happened too quick for me to take pictures. When they went to check her dialation she went from a 3 to a 9 in 30 mins, so they rushed the doctor in (and let me just say this one thing, they allowed some student nurses in and they PISSED ME OFF ROYALY! They had this "Im the shit" attitudes and pushed me around--I was about to go off due to lack of sleep and anxiety)
But the doctor came in, she asked us to step aside behind this curtain, and spoke loudly so we would know what she was doing, and when they went to do her practice pushes they noticed the umbilcal cord was wrapped around Kaytlins neck and Rachels blood preasure litterally shot up and we knew something was wrong because the doctors voice got really quiet and we freaked. I mean, freaked. Dustin(the father) and I, who go way back just like Rachel and usually tease each other and harass one another broke down into tears and held each other. It was a very very intense time. I mean, I've never been so scared. I had this worry, in the back of my mind, "What if I lose them? What will I do if I lose Rachel? Or God forbid we lose this baby...how do I console my sister? What do you say to someone who just lost their flesh and blood? Will I be able to comfort her?"
It was hard, so hard to sit there and WATCH the best friend I've ever had *nothing against my other dear and near friends lol* suffer with such immense pain, and know in my mind and heart that theres nothing I can do. It hurt me, it really did to watch her in that state. She was so pale, she didnt even know I was there. She even asked me here recently over the phone where I was during all of this, she knew I was there but she couldnt remember my presence. Which bothers me, those nurses had me so far back my sister didnt know I was there for her. I will admit, I was quiet during most of the ordeal, and everyone kept asking me if I was ok because I was so quiet. Ok. When Im quiet, its usually for a good reason. Im either pissed. Or Im worried. Or I've got alot on my mind. It was a combination of all of the above. I was pissed at the nurses, and obviously worried and dwelling in my own mind.
I was amazed how many people kept checking on me. Susan(Dustins mom), Mom(Rachels mom), Jeff(Rachels step dad) and some of the nice nurses, and Dustin himself. Hahahahahahaha. Dont worry about me, please focus on Rachel ya'll. *sighs* Im so thankful its over. Im so thankful my little Rose is ok. (Rose is my name for Kaytlin), and when they put that baby in my arms, I broke down into tears, I just couldnt hold my composure. I wonder, how can you love someone so much when you've just met them. I dont know how, but I do. She might not be my flesh and blood, but that child means the world to me.