Where Everybody Knows Your Name
I have a story. I have many stories, but this one is exceptional even for me.
Content warning: going to a bar for drinky goodness.
1. The Setting
Seattle, WA. Home of clouds, rain, hipsters, beards, Starbucks, a large pointy thing, sleepless people, and maybe some vampires. Also a notable place to find craft beers and breweries.
So there I am, with a day to myself in Seattle, and I say "Self, you like fancy beer. Perhaps you should see what this town has to offer?" I agree with myself, because I'm pretty wise, and I discover the Fremont Brewing Company, which offers me a tasty flight of beerish goodness. This was not a bad start to the evening, but this is really just the prelude.
2. The Hunger
Years of experience has taught me that maybe if I want to enjoy some drinking I should enjoy some eating first. I'm pretty wise, like I said. So I consult the Oracle of Googlemaps and pinpoint another brewery about ten minutes walk that serves food. This seems like a good target, and off I go.
I never reach my target.
3. Interception!
On the walk over, I approach a large squat building that has been painted pastel purple on one side. Towards the front of this side wall is a gigantic mural: "The Back Door! Fine dining and fancy cocktails! This way!"
3a. Maturity
I say to myself "Hurr hurr, I'm coming in the Back Door, hurrrrrr"
3b. Commitment
In doing so, I have thoroughly committed myself to this new course of action. I made the joke; I'm going to have to live up to it.
4. A Questionable Approach
I veer off the sidewalk and into the lot near the purple wall. The mural points to the back of the building (of course), and as I approach I see a single door and a few boarded up windows. There is no sound or light emanating from this area.
I have seen this setup before, in places that were shut down. I have also seen this setup before... in gentlemen's clubs.
Curses.
Still, I have committed myself to my joke. I will come in the back door, and if I behold a titty bar, then fair enough, joke's on me, I will move on.
5. A Sigh of Relief
I step inside.
It is not a club full of scantily clad persons. Hooray for small favors.
The host welcomes me in and asks if I have a reservation. I do not. He suggests sitting at the bar. I can do that.
As I take in the dark interior, I realize that this is not just a bar. It is an homage to the speakeasy, dimly lit, fancy decor, several tables, and a bar. Oh what a bar.
The bar is like an inverted Omega as you approach, with two side nubs near the back wall and a big loop protruding into the room. Behind the Omega Bar is a pyramid, and the pyramid contains their multitude of liquors. The pyramid is topped by an angel. This is not sufficient. The pyramid itself is maybe 5 feet tall, and the angel is nearly as big. Behind the pyramid and the angel is a mirror which catches the whol reflection of the room and makes the pyramid look twice as big.
6. The Menu
I scan the QR code to pull up a menu. Lots of fancy cocktails, regular cocktails, appetizers, meals, oooooo truffle parmesan fries, gonna get those, and... flights? A flight of tequilas, a flight of vodkas, a flight of bourbons... and a flight of Laphroaig scotches.
Hmmmmm, I say to myself. "Self, I am not a scotch drinker, but Laphroaig is probably my favorite of all time. This looks like an opportunity."
I order a flight of Laphroaig, and some fries and stuffed olives. Everything is absolutely delicious.
7. Human Interaction
The bartender, D, is very friendly and leaves the four bottles out for me to study. She says that maybe 2 or 3 people a month order that. We talk about Scotland, and how she really wants to go, and how beautiful it is. I talk about my trip there a little and how the distilleries were fun to visit. By the end of this discussion D is absolutely ready to go to Scotland tomorrow.
S, the host, also stops by and joins the discussion. He is also very friendly and conversational and I ask about a few of the other offerings on the 430-Proof Pyramid of Power.
And then a new challenger appears!
A gentleman, who had earlier been sitting at a table with his family, takes a seat at the bar with his drink. "I'm already sitting over there," he says. "I just wanted to come over here and sit at this amazing bar."
I agree. I toast to his approval of the bar, and we end up talking as well. He asks the dread question, "What do you do?" and I, as always, sidestep it and say "Event planning and organizing." He seems interested and says that his daughter is also into that, at a smaller scale, and would love to go to NYC to do larger scale events. I agree that it is a pretty awesome goal, with lots of potential.
He calls his family over and introduces his daughter to me. She is shy, but I give her my card because I'm a professional. We all chat, and then they all go back to their table.
Enough people. Back to business, I think.
8. A New Flavor
The Laphroaig flight is delicious. Laphroaig Triple Wood (hurr hurr) is the best of the four. Now I need something refreshing. I decide to fall back on my old favorite, the gin and tonic. Two bottles grab my attention.
"Is that Aviation Gin?"
"Yes it is."
"Could I get a gin and tonic with that?"
"Certainly! Would you like the house tonic?"
"........."
I was not ready for that question.
"The whuh?"
"We make our own house tonic, would you like to try it?"
".........yes. Yes I would."
Aviation gin and their house tonic is so good, I order another appetizer. I'm in this bar for the long haul.
Once that goes down the hatch, I go back to our Scottish path and order a Botanist gin and house tonic. I ask if I could try a taste of the tonic. They mix me an entire glass. It's a syrup which they then mix into soda water for the flavor. It doesn't taste like standard quinine-heavy tonics. Nope. It's got flavor, other herbs and bits in it. It's good by itself. It's good with gin.
9. A Parting Gift
At some point late in the evening, D asks, "Are you staying in the area long?" I say I'm still here for a few days. "Ok, hold on."
?????
She comes back with a slip of paper and starts writing on it. I can see the paper is a form of some kind. She finishes and gives me the paper. "Here. You've been such a great customer, we all like you, so this is a gift certificate in case you come back. Or give it to a friend in the area, whatever works."
?!?!?
I'm trying to figure out what kind of bizarro alternate universe I've stumbled into where I can be considered a great customer. And let's be clear: the certificate is for $25. That's two fancy drinks and change, no small amount.
I thank her, finish up my drink, pay the bill, tip excessively, and say good bye to what I can only describe as the greatest bar experience I have ever had.
If I ever return to Seattle, I am coming back to the Back Door. Hurr hurr.
Content warning: going to a bar for drinky goodness.
1. The Setting
Seattle, WA. Home of clouds, rain, hipsters, beards, Starbucks, a large pointy thing, sleepless people, and maybe some vampires. Also a notable place to find craft beers and breweries.
So there I am, with a day to myself in Seattle, and I say "Self, you like fancy beer. Perhaps you should see what this town has to offer?" I agree with myself, because I'm pretty wise, and I discover the Fremont Brewing Company, which offers me a tasty flight of beerish goodness. This was not a bad start to the evening, but this is really just the prelude.
2. The Hunger
Years of experience has taught me that maybe if I want to enjoy some drinking I should enjoy some eating first. I'm pretty wise, like I said. So I consult the Oracle of Googlemaps and pinpoint another brewery about ten minutes walk that serves food. This seems like a good target, and off I go.
I never reach my target.
3. Interception!
On the walk over, I approach a large squat building that has been painted pastel purple on one side. Towards the front of this side wall is a gigantic mural: "The Back Door! Fine dining and fancy cocktails! This way!"
3a. Maturity
I say to myself "Hurr hurr, I'm coming in the Back Door, hurrrrrr"
3b. Commitment
In doing so, I have thoroughly committed myself to this new course of action. I made the joke; I'm going to have to live up to it.
4. A Questionable Approach
I veer off the sidewalk and into the lot near the purple wall. The mural points to the back of the building (of course), and as I approach I see a single door and a few boarded up windows. There is no sound or light emanating from this area.
I have seen this setup before, in places that were shut down. I have also seen this setup before... in gentlemen's clubs.
Curses.
Still, I have committed myself to my joke. I will come in the back door, and if I behold a titty bar, then fair enough, joke's on me, I will move on.
5. A Sigh of Relief
I step inside.
It is not a club full of scantily clad persons. Hooray for small favors.
The host welcomes me in and asks if I have a reservation. I do not. He suggests sitting at the bar. I can do that.
As I take in the dark interior, I realize that this is not just a bar. It is an homage to the speakeasy, dimly lit, fancy decor, several tables, and a bar. Oh what a bar.
The bar is like an inverted Omega as you approach, with two side nubs near the back wall and a big loop protruding into the room. Behind the Omega Bar is a pyramid, and the pyramid contains their multitude of liquors. The pyramid is topped by an angel. This is not sufficient. The pyramid itself is maybe 5 feet tall, and the angel is nearly as big. Behind the pyramid and the angel is a mirror which catches the whol reflection of the room and makes the pyramid look twice as big.
6. The Menu
I scan the QR code to pull up a menu. Lots of fancy cocktails, regular cocktails, appetizers, meals, oooooo truffle parmesan fries, gonna get those, and... flights? A flight of tequilas, a flight of vodkas, a flight of bourbons... and a flight of Laphroaig scotches.
Hmmmmm, I say to myself. "Self, I am not a scotch drinker, but Laphroaig is probably my favorite of all time. This looks like an opportunity."
I order a flight of Laphroaig, and some fries and stuffed olives. Everything is absolutely delicious.
7. Human Interaction
The bartender, D, is very friendly and leaves the four bottles out for me to study. She says that maybe 2 or 3 people a month order that. We talk about Scotland, and how she really wants to go, and how beautiful it is. I talk about my trip there a little and how the distilleries were fun to visit. By the end of this discussion D is absolutely ready to go to Scotland tomorrow.
S, the host, also stops by and joins the discussion. He is also very friendly and conversational and I ask about a few of the other offerings on the 430-Proof Pyramid of Power.
And then a new challenger appears!
A gentleman, who had earlier been sitting at a table with his family, takes a seat at the bar with his drink. "I'm already sitting over there," he says. "I just wanted to come over here and sit at this amazing bar."
I agree. I toast to his approval of the bar, and we end up talking as well. He asks the dread question, "What do you do?" and I, as always, sidestep it and say "Event planning and organizing." He seems interested and says that his daughter is also into that, at a smaller scale, and would love to go to NYC to do larger scale events. I agree that it is a pretty awesome goal, with lots of potential.
He calls his family over and introduces his daughter to me. She is shy, but I give her my card because I'm a professional. We all chat, and then they all go back to their table.
Enough people. Back to business, I think.
8. A New Flavor
The Laphroaig flight is delicious. Laphroaig Triple Wood (hurr hurr) is the best of the four. Now I need something refreshing. I decide to fall back on my old favorite, the gin and tonic. Two bottles grab my attention.
"Is that Aviation Gin?"
"Yes it is."
"Could I get a gin and tonic with that?"
"Certainly! Would you like the house tonic?"
"........."
I was not ready for that question.
"The whuh?"
"We make our own house tonic, would you like to try it?"
".........yes. Yes I would."
Aviation gin and their house tonic is so good, I order another appetizer. I'm in this bar for the long haul.
Once that goes down the hatch, I go back to our Scottish path and order a Botanist gin and house tonic. I ask if I could try a taste of the tonic. They mix me an entire glass. It's a syrup which they then mix into soda water for the flavor. It doesn't taste like standard quinine-heavy tonics. Nope. It's got flavor, other herbs and bits in it. It's good by itself. It's good with gin.
9. A Parting Gift
At some point late in the evening, D asks, "Are you staying in the area long?" I say I'm still here for a few days. "Ok, hold on."
?????
She comes back with a slip of paper and starts writing on it. I can see the paper is a form of some kind. She finishes and gives me the paper. "Here. You've been such a great customer, we all like you, so this is a gift certificate in case you come back. Or give it to a friend in the area, whatever works."
?!?!?
I'm trying to figure out what kind of bizarro alternate universe I've stumbled into where I can be considered a great customer. And let's be clear: the certificate is for $25. That's two fancy drinks and change, no small amount.
I thank her, finish up my drink, pay the bill, tip excessively, and say good bye to what I can only describe as the greatest bar experience I have ever had.
If I ever return to Seattle, I am coming back to the Back Door. Hurr hurr.