Mortal Movie Madness!
After so many years, I'm getting back into the habit of movie reviews because I love movies. And if you remember anything about me, you know I love bad movies. So, without further ado...
MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
Let's get down to brass tacks: Movies based on video games are rarely of high calibre. Super Mario Brothers? Bad. Street Fighter? So bad it's good. Prince of Persia? The surprising exception to the rule, but still not exceptional. Resident Evil? I'm only there for Mila Jovovich. Original Mortal Kombat? Horrible. Trying to add a plot to a game where the entire story is "Beat up everyone and then win" is a herculean task.
1990's Mortal Kombat had Christopher Lambert trying to carry the weight of the film on his shoulders, and he buckled. It was a bad movie even among bad movies. The fight scenes were mediocre (except for Johnny Cage vs Skorpion, which was genuinely fun to watch and done better than the rest of the film). Cary Tokugawa was, at least, a convincing and threatening villain. And then Mortal Kombat II came out and made the first look like Shakespeare. It was that bad. I've seen Casper Van Dien SyFy flicks better than this.
So when I heard that a new Mortal Kombat was coming out in 2021, let's be fair: I ignored all this past history and said to myself "Self, we are going to see that the moment it comes out." My self agreed.
So let's hit up the movie FAQ.
1. The big question: How is it?
Listen, it's still a movie based on a fighty video game. Do not underestimate how low a bar is being set here. However, the writers have put in a substantial amount of effort to create a story that's probably vastly more believable than nine iterations of "The Fast and the Furious". And the characters are also more believable, more human, more realistic than anything the original Mortal Kombat had to offer. So, have we stepped up our game? Absolutely.
2. It's a fighty game; how are the fighty scenes?
The opening scene is probably the best fight sequence in the movie; Hiroyuki Sanada as Hanzo Hasashi and Joe Taslim as Bi-Han engage in a well-choreographed battle that doesn't skimp on the blood or the emotion. This sets the tone for the rest of the film. Some of the fights are, of course, enhanced by special effects like fireballs and spinning hats and optic blasts. The final battle with Sub-Zero is a close second, and Cole's training sessions with Liu Kang are probably third. Again, light years beyond what the original Mortal Kombat offered.
3. What's good?
The characters have a bit more motivation and development. You feel for Hanzo Hasashi. You can tell Cole has a (trope-like, of course) love for his family. Sonya is the outcast and you sympathize. Kano is the corrupt scumbag you love to hate, and he is probably the funniest person around (also he sounds exactly like Ozzy Man from the Internet). Sub-Zero is the only villain who you have any connection with, and even he is just a trope to be the dragon of the main villain, Shang Tsung.
4. What's bad?
Like I said, we're still in a video game. The bad guys are just doing Bad Guy Things to conquer Earth, because that's what Bad Guys do. The good guys are doing Good Guy Things to stop the bad guys. The good guys win. Really, you've seen this story a hundred times before. And it was probably better 90 of those times.
5. What's notable?
Like many such works, you have to have reference to the game in question. So, quotes like "Flawless Victory" and "Your Soul Is Mine" were inevitable. Some of the special effects are fun to watch, like Kung Lao's hat and Mileena's mouth, as well as all things Sub-Zero and Skorpion. Really, the fact that I felt for the protagonist is notable enough, even if he is a trope.
6. Is it worth seeing?
I can't answer this; I love bad movies and I don't mind shelling out occasionally for theatrical fanciness. But it's better than the original, so if you like the original (or wanted to), this is worth a shot.
7. Will we get a sequel?
Well, it's left open for one, so maybe if lots of people go, a second could happen.
8. ???
Got more questions? Ask and I will answer!
MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
Let's get down to brass tacks: Movies based on video games are rarely of high calibre. Super Mario Brothers? Bad. Street Fighter? So bad it's good. Prince of Persia? The surprising exception to the rule, but still not exceptional. Resident Evil? I'm only there for Mila Jovovich. Original Mortal Kombat? Horrible. Trying to add a plot to a game where the entire story is "Beat up everyone and then win" is a herculean task.
1990's Mortal Kombat had Christopher Lambert trying to carry the weight of the film on his shoulders, and he buckled. It was a bad movie even among bad movies. The fight scenes were mediocre (except for Johnny Cage vs Skorpion, which was genuinely fun to watch and done better than the rest of the film). Cary Tokugawa was, at least, a convincing and threatening villain. And then Mortal Kombat II came out and made the first look like Shakespeare. It was that bad. I've seen Casper Van Dien SyFy flicks better than this.
So when I heard that a new Mortal Kombat was coming out in 2021, let's be fair: I ignored all this past history and said to myself "Self, we are going to see that the moment it comes out." My self agreed.
So let's hit up the movie FAQ.
1. The big question: How is it?
Listen, it's still a movie based on a fighty video game. Do not underestimate how low a bar is being set here. However, the writers have put in a substantial amount of effort to create a story that's probably vastly more believable than nine iterations of "The Fast and the Furious". And the characters are also more believable, more human, more realistic than anything the original Mortal Kombat had to offer. So, have we stepped up our game? Absolutely.
2. It's a fighty game; how are the fighty scenes?
The opening scene is probably the best fight sequence in the movie; Hiroyuki Sanada as Hanzo Hasashi and Joe Taslim as Bi-Han engage in a well-choreographed battle that doesn't skimp on the blood or the emotion. This sets the tone for the rest of the film. Some of the fights are, of course, enhanced by special effects like fireballs and spinning hats and optic blasts. The final battle with Sub-Zero is a close second, and Cole's training sessions with Liu Kang are probably third. Again, light years beyond what the original Mortal Kombat offered.
3. What's good?
The characters have a bit more motivation and development. You feel for Hanzo Hasashi. You can tell Cole has a (trope-like, of course) love for his family. Sonya is the outcast and you sympathize. Kano is the corrupt scumbag you love to hate, and he is probably the funniest person around (also he sounds exactly like Ozzy Man from the Internet). Sub-Zero is the only villain who you have any connection with, and even he is just a trope to be the dragon of the main villain, Shang Tsung.
4. What's bad?
Like I said, we're still in a video game. The bad guys are just doing Bad Guy Things to conquer Earth, because that's what Bad Guys do. The good guys are doing Good Guy Things to stop the bad guys. The good guys win. Really, you've seen this story a hundred times before. And it was probably better 90 of those times.
5. What's notable?
Like many such works, you have to have reference to the game in question. So, quotes like "Flawless Victory" and "Your Soul Is Mine" were inevitable. Some of the special effects are fun to watch, like Kung Lao's hat and Mileena's mouth, as well as all things Sub-Zero and Skorpion. Really, the fact that I felt for the protagonist is notable enough, even if he is a trope.
6. Is it worth seeing?
I can't answer this; I love bad movies and I don't mind shelling out occasionally for theatrical fanciness. But it's better than the original, so if you like the original (or wanted to), this is worth a shot.
7. Will we get a sequel?
Well, it's left open for one, so maybe if lots of people go, a second could happen.
8. ???
Got more questions? Ask and I will answer!