Candy
I am eating a lollipop.
Let's interrupt this story by saying something that is obvious to those who know me: I'm willing to eat anything once. I'll give practically anything a try- cow brain, tongue, liver, and so on. There are relatively few exceptions to this aspect of my personality.
Sometimes, this leads to a wondrous discovery. Black Pudding? Not really as bad as it sounds. Limberger cheese? Stinky, but not terrible. That little worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle? Overrated.
That being said, sometimes this leads to great horror.
Now back to our story.
I am eating a lollipop.
The lollipop is, cutely, shaped like a half-circle slice of watermelon, and this image is also reflected on the lollipop wrapper. And one can indeed detect the hint of melony flavor in the distance as one rolls the lollipop over one's tongue.
This melony sweetness, however, is vastly overpowered by the lollipop's OTHER flavor, which does not appear as a picture on the label, and instead is buried in six-point font at the bottom of the wrapper, in the list of ingredients. See if you can spot the thing that doesn't belong:
"Ingredients: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Titanium Dioxide, GUAJILLO CHILI, Iodized Salt, Artificial Flavors, Blue #2, Red #40, Yellow #5."
I am thoroughly disgusted with this thing, and yet somehow I can't stop eating it. This may be indicative of a different aspect of my personality, one which stubbornly refuses to give in when faced with a stupid decision.
And yes, fizrep, in case you are wondering, this delectable treat did indeed come from Mexico. It did not, as you perhaps thought, contain any tamarind, though whether that's for better or for worse remains to be seen.
Let's interrupt this story by saying something that is obvious to those who know me: I'm willing to eat anything once. I'll give practically anything a try- cow brain, tongue, liver, and so on. There are relatively few exceptions to this aspect of my personality.
Sometimes, this leads to a wondrous discovery. Black Pudding? Not really as bad as it sounds. Limberger cheese? Stinky, but not terrible. That little worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle? Overrated.
That being said, sometimes this leads to great horror.
Now back to our story.
I am eating a lollipop.
The lollipop is, cutely, shaped like a half-circle slice of watermelon, and this image is also reflected on the lollipop wrapper. And one can indeed detect the hint of melony flavor in the distance as one rolls the lollipop over one's tongue.
This melony sweetness, however, is vastly overpowered by the lollipop's OTHER flavor, which does not appear as a picture on the label, and instead is buried in six-point font at the bottom of the wrapper, in the list of ingredients. See if you can spot the thing that doesn't belong:
"Ingredients: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Titanium Dioxide, GUAJILLO CHILI, Iodized Salt, Artificial Flavors, Blue #2, Red #40, Yellow #5."
I am thoroughly disgusted with this thing, and yet somehow I can't stop eating it. This may be indicative of a different aspect of my personality, one which stubbornly refuses to give in when faced with a stupid decision.
And yes, fizrep, in case you are wondering, this delectable treat did indeed come from Mexico. It did not, as you perhaps thought, contain any tamarind, though whether that's for better or for worse remains to be seen.