Some Movie Ideas Just Should Not Be

[chaosvizier]

This post is dedicated to cheezdanish, who made mention of a terrible, terrible thing.

Comments

[naraht]

I'd watch it..

[chaosvizier]

I hope it has Corporate Nudity! That's good business! I'm predicting a string of porn shops along Baltic Ave. Yeah.

[fax_celestis]

I'm imagining that the porn knock-off titles ("Mono-poly"? "Magic: the Gangbanging"?) are going to be better than the actual films. How often does that happen?

[chaosvizier]

Amazingly enough, the porn knock off title for "Stretch Armstrong" is still "Stretch Armstrong".

[cheezdanish]

Hahahahahahah Ben Kingsley aged faster than his bullying antagonists.

[chaosvizier]

Childhood trauma, man. It ages you like no one's business.

Haha, I said "business".

I hope he and George C. Scott get into a wrestling match before the movie ends...

[queencallipygos]

...There already WAS a film based on "Clue", wasn't there?

[chaosvizier]

Yes, there was. And it was quite funny, mostly due to the awesomeness that was Tim Curry. A New Clue would be an abomination. Unless it's Clue 2: Clue Boogacloo.

[fax_celestis]

YOUR REIGN OF PUNNISH TERROR ENDS HERE, chaosvizier! I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR TYRANNY ANY LONGER.

[chaosvizier]

YOU AND WHAT ARMY? ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO SINK MY BATTLESHIP? I'VE GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF C-4 JUST WAITING FOR YOU!

[lady_autumnstar]

oh my stars and garters.

As we all know, there's already Clue: The Movie. To try to remake that would be a disaster of the first magnitude. And, GI Joe is based on a real Marine, a bona fide WWII hero. The deal with Hasbro was that GI Joe would always be a stand-up kind of guy. A Marine. I read an article not long ago that said in the movie version he would be a UN operative. Please, somebody, have the grace to NOT make that movie.

Monopoly...hhmmmm...*if* it's done right-what am I saying-this is Hollyweird. Abandon all hope.

[chaosvizier]

Too late! G.I.Joe is a go! Thanks to the power of the Transformers, it was only a matter of time. I do hope it sticks to its roots, though. I hate "UN Operatives". The UN does not have operatives, no matter what the movies say. The UN wishes it had cool operatives. Hell, even Jean Claude Van Damme was cooler in Street Fighter than anything the UN has now. Heh.

Monopoly... I just can't grasp it. Nope.

[lovellama]

I'm jonesing for a Ruxpin movie.

[chaosvizier]

But really, who isn't? Although I think he should join a metal band instead.

"I'm Smokin' E. Bear, Esquire!"
"And I'm Ted 'Theodore' Ruxpin!"
"And we're WYLD URSYNEZ!!!!!!"

[lovellama]

Ooo, that could be the first one, then the Bond one after. :D

[chaosvizier]

Yeah. Heavy Metal rocker turned Secret Agent. And in the third movie, he'll have a one-on-one battle against Sasquatch to rule the forest.