Mysterious Monster Movies!
There are many ingredients when it comes to making a good movie, but sometimes, you can just throw them all away and rely on a tried-and-true staple: Have something beat the holy shit out of New York City.
Cloverfield
J.J. Abrams is getting a lot of publicity lately. He's the producer for the popular show "Alias", and the far more popular show "Lost". He's producing the next "Star Trek" film, which is a prequel to all previous films. And finally, we have the topic of choice, "Cloverfield".
There is, of course, lots of debate over the secrets and mysteries of Cloverfield. Most of this debate is pointless hoohah, as tends to happen on the Internet. Really, just go see the movie and enjoy it for a different take on Giant Monster films.
You should be prepared, admittedly. Can you handle 90 minutes of shaky hand-cam action? Have you ever sat through one of your friends' boring home movies and recoiled in horror at the camera view bobbing and weaving like Johnny Depp pretending to be Keith Richards? Well, this film might not quite be for you. But if your stomach can stand the gyrations, then you might enjoy this completely non-boring version of The Blair Witch Project.
The plot: A giant monster beats the holy shit out of New York City but gets caught on film. Fortunately, the video does not get uploaded to Youtube in time, and the monster's reputation is salvaged.
The pros: The structure of the film is very sound. You really do feel like you're watching a home movie turned wartime documentary. The use of mostly average actors helps convey the feeling that these are just ordinary people caught up in an extraordinary event. They go from partying fools to dead fools and you love it all. They have no extraordinary skills aside from extreme shoe wearing and impalement survival. The blend of home video shooting with special effects is mostly seamless- war machinery firing, monsters monstering, and all that. Ultimately, the "realistic" nature of the movie is its greatest strength.
The cons: Well, if you get motion sickness easily, this movie might not be for you. If "The Blair Witch Project" made you lose your lunch, you're definitely not ready for this. But that's not me, so woohoo! I suppose the drawback for me was that I actively wanted everyone to die. I didn't have any sympathy or interest in the characters. This is not a a fault of the actors, who did a good job portraying characters that I wasn't interested in. Therefore, watching most of them get pasted was quite satisfying. Hmm, maybe this was a "pro" after all. Although the fact that Lily got away annoyed me extra, because I was really rooting for her to get the Monster Shaft. Finally, the open-ended nature of the story might annoy people; it's not really a "film" with a plot and resolution; it's much more of a news correspondence, and should be taken as such. Finally, if you're not a fan of spiders, you might want to take a big nap during the Subway Tunnel Scene.
The verdict: This movie is fun. It was totally worth seeing.
Disclaimer: I did not see the Super Secret Hidden Thing In The Final Scene. Maybe I'll go back and watch it. I think I was still too busy exulting from everyone getting pasted.
Note: If I ever have a need to purchase a hand-held video camera, I'll be sure to buy the one Hud was using. The camera survived being dropped in a subway tunnel, crashed in a helicopter from 30+ stories up, thrown an indeterminate distance after its holder was mauled by a giant monster, and buried under rubble after Manhattan was levelled by bombs. And it had power to spare. I'm thinking, best electronic goods ever.
But you know what? Just because it was good doesn't mean it couldn't be better. Here's my list of things that could have made this good film a GREAT film.
10. A flaming homeless man should have jumped out during the Subway Tunnel scene. You know, lighten the mood. Because nothing says wacky fun like homeless people on fire.
9. If you're a native New Yorker, you know that this guy should have been hanging out under the bridge with Rob and Beth.
8. Marlena does not die, because she was my favorite. Also, she would be played by Sigourney Weaver. A viable counterpart to this would be Lily's gruesome demise, as she was not my favorite.
7. After Rob kills the spider in the stairwell with the axe (soon to be part of the new Clue: Cloverfield Edition board game), he says to the axe, "I shall give you a name, and I will call you Sting."
6. Cameo appearance by David Lo Pan, because really, how could that hurt?
5. Free Cloverfield plushee doll for everyone. They're so cute!
4. A trailer for "Crovahfierudu 2: Gojira Saves Japan"
3. The Army Corps of Engineers regroups and rewires the Statue of Liberty into a giant battlemech and goes toe-to-toe with Cloverfield. This will be great on XBox, trust me.
2. "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking aliens in my motherfucking city!"
1. A Hipster Death-O-Meter in the lower corner of the screen. "Number of hip twentysomethings who have perished since the start of the attack: RISING!"
Cloverfield
J.J. Abrams is getting a lot of publicity lately. He's the producer for the popular show "Alias", and the far more popular show "Lost". He's producing the next "Star Trek" film, which is a prequel to all previous films. And finally, we have the topic of choice, "Cloverfield".
There is, of course, lots of debate over the secrets and mysteries of Cloverfield. Most of this debate is pointless hoohah, as tends to happen on the Internet. Really, just go see the movie and enjoy it for a different take on Giant Monster films.
You should be prepared, admittedly. Can you handle 90 minutes of shaky hand-cam action? Have you ever sat through one of your friends' boring home movies and recoiled in horror at the camera view bobbing and weaving like Johnny Depp pretending to be Keith Richards? Well, this film might not quite be for you. But if your stomach can stand the gyrations, then you might enjoy this completely non-boring version of The Blair Witch Project.
The plot: A giant monster beats the holy shit out of New York City but gets caught on film. Fortunately, the video does not get uploaded to Youtube in time, and the monster's reputation is salvaged.
The pros: The structure of the film is very sound. You really do feel like you're watching a home movie turned wartime documentary. The use of mostly average actors helps convey the feeling that these are just ordinary people caught up in an extraordinary event. They go from partying fools to dead fools and you love it all. They have no extraordinary skills aside from extreme shoe wearing and impalement survival. The blend of home video shooting with special effects is mostly seamless- war machinery firing, monsters monstering, and all that. Ultimately, the "realistic" nature of the movie is its greatest strength.
The cons: Well, if you get motion sickness easily, this movie might not be for you. If "The Blair Witch Project" made you lose your lunch, you're definitely not ready for this. But that's not me, so woohoo! I suppose the drawback for me was that I actively wanted everyone to die. I didn't have any sympathy or interest in the characters. This is not a a fault of the actors, who did a good job portraying characters that I wasn't interested in. Therefore, watching most of them get pasted was quite satisfying. Hmm, maybe this was a "pro" after all. Although the fact that Lily got away annoyed me extra, because I was really rooting for her to get the Monster Shaft. Finally, the open-ended nature of the story might annoy people; it's not really a "film" with a plot and resolution; it's much more of a news correspondence, and should be taken as such. Finally, if you're not a fan of spiders, you might want to take a big nap during the Subway Tunnel Scene.
The verdict: This movie is fun. It was totally worth seeing.
Disclaimer: I did not see the Super Secret Hidden Thing In The Final Scene. Maybe I'll go back and watch it. I think I was still too busy exulting from everyone getting pasted.
Note: If I ever have a need to purchase a hand-held video camera, I'll be sure to buy the one Hud was using. The camera survived being dropped in a subway tunnel, crashed in a helicopter from 30+ stories up, thrown an indeterminate distance after its holder was mauled by a giant monster, and buried under rubble after Manhattan was levelled by bombs. And it had power to spare. I'm thinking, best electronic goods ever.
But you know what? Just because it was good doesn't mean it couldn't be better. Here's my list of things that could have made this good film a GREAT film.
10. A flaming homeless man should have jumped out during the Subway Tunnel scene. You know, lighten the mood. Because nothing says wacky fun like homeless people on fire.
9. If you're a native New Yorker, you know that this guy should have been hanging out under the bridge with Rob and Beth.
8. Marlena does not die, because she was my favorite. Also, she would be played by Sigourney Weaver. A viable counterpart to this would be Lily's gruesome demise, as she was not my favorite.
7. After Rob kills the spider in the stairwell with the axe (soon to be part of the new Clue: Cloverfield Edition board game), he says to the axe, "I shall give you a name, and I will call you Sting."
6. Cameo appearance by David Lo Pan, because really, how could that hurt?
5. Free Cloverfield plushee doll for everyone. They're so cute!
4. A trailer for "Crovahfierudu 2: Gojira Saves Japan"
3. The Army Corps of Engineers regroups and rewires the Statue of Liberty into a giant battlemech and goes toe-to-toe with Cloverfield. This will be great on XBox, trust me.
2. "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking aliens in my motherfucking city!"
1. A Hipster Death-O-Meter in the lower corner of the screen. "Number of hip twentysomethings who have perished since the start of the attack: RISING!"