there is nothing for you here anymore

I met my new therapist for the second time today, referred to by the neuropsychologist after I wrapped up my last testing.  He specializes in patients with ASD, which is something I've sought every moment almost since I was diagnosed.  So far he's given me examples of what to expect out of therapy and started explaining some important neuro- and ( Read more... )

school is down.  nasdaq.com is down.  omegle.com is doing fine.  the sun is shining through my patio door.  fiona apple just went out and google assistant is not responding.  i'm going to sit over there in my white fluffy towel and talk to my beautiful cat.

what kind of supreme asshole decides "spring break!  but only for two weeks" every year?

dear journal.  i really need help.  please hack into my life and fix enough so i can stop panicking and have an hour to sit down and reflect.

Today so far has been a waste, so I came here to write about how I've begun to fall back into being emotionally and existentially overwhelmed as well as the extent I am disgusted with the human race, but I instead ended up reading past conversations I've had online with strangers, friends and... people who were perhaps something other than friends ( Read more... )

After an entire night of quietly tearing up with a blanket pulled over my head about an probably trivial and maybe even callous fling I had years ago, I got just enough sleep to have a disturbing alien dream about solely a wolf with a tiny bright blue pupil. Now I have to get ready so that I pass as an intact and functional human being to my ( Read more... )

A couple weeks ago I had a dream about Alex out of nowhere.  We were on some kind of mission venturing out past the known and figuring out the human and inanimate obstacles in our way.  I dont really remember enough to piece together a story, but what caught my attention was that it was the first time I'd felt something, even romantic, towards ( Read more... )

it's been so long dear journal, and i am so out of practice.  my world has seemingly been mostly underwater chaos, constant torrid of surprise i can barely comprehend let alone best.  i am nearly numb, nearly hopeless, and entirely without motivation to be of any effect, and that seems as good of time as any to withdraw and take account of my self.
( Read more... )

rainy day.  i just finished with my therapist and i have nothing i need to do for the rest of the day.  fetch the mail.  i should eat something, but what.  i meet with her nearly every week but it's not enough to address the things i get stuck on or even to contemplate what we do talk about.  i have dreams about unfounded hostility towards my step ( Read more... )