Things that should probably not fill me with triumph and glee
Anyone familiar with the Confessio of Saint Patrick will remember the bizarre passage where Patrick describes how, when as an escaped slave he was attempting to gain passage back to Britain, some sailors offered him their nipples to suck as a sign of friendship. He declined to do this, but they ended up taking him on board anyway.
A number of scholars see this as an example of the theorized Early Irish practice of homosocial nipple-sucking to denote fealty or protection.
My essay topic is "The writings of Patrick provide a unique insight into 5th century Ireland--discuss."
Obviously I need to discuss the unique insight into NIPPLE SUCKING in 5th century Ireland, right? No way could I pass that up! Unfortunately, to put shit in an essay, you need to cite reputable sources. You can't just be like, "Yeah, I read somewhere on the internet that dudes in Ireland totally used to suck each other's nipples."
I knew that someone somewhere must have written something academic about early Irish nipple sucking. I just had to find it. So I employed mad google-fu for like two hours this morning, searching all over JSTOR and google books with very disappointing results. Seriously, JSTOR? Not even ONE article? Way to fail! But THEN, thanks to a reference in an article on everything2.com, I discovered that there IS in fact at least ONE academic paper on nipple sucking that someone wrote for the 10th International Congress of Celtic Studies. UNFORTUNATELY, this article is not on the internet. Now, if I were still in California I would have had to give up in despair at this point. But the advantage of being in Ireland? The library of University College, Dublin ACTUALLY HAS the proceedings of the 10th International Congress of Celtic Studies.
And because it is a super obscure book, it was not checked out.
I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID, IRISH LIBRARIES ARE WONDERFUL.
I am now in possession of the very edifying article Sugere Mamellas: A Pagan Irish Custom and its Affinities, by Bernard Maier. It discusses nipple sucking not only in Ireland, but also in Ancient Egyptian, Arab, Berber, and Ethiopian culture.
Whether or not my tutor will appreciate this highly interesting cultural information is anyone's guess. I don't actually give a fuck. I'm still mad at her for talking crap about my bro Patrick.
How I rank things in Patrick's Confessio in terms of my interest in them:
Stuff about God > NIPPLE SUCKING > blah blah social/political climate of 5th century Ireland
Additionally, I'm going to be a total douche and quote everything in Latin. My tutor is a folklorist, so I'm pretty sure she doesn't know Latin, and if she has studied it, she probably isn't very good at it.
A number of scholars see this as an example of the theorized Early Irish practice of homosocial nipple-sucking to denote fealty or protection.
My essay topic is "The writings of Patrick provide a unique insight into 5th century Ireland--discuss."
Obviously I need to discuss the unique insight into NIPPLE SUCKING in 5th century Ireland, right? No way could I pass that up! Unfortunately, to put shit in an essay, you need to cite reputable sources. You can't just be like, "Yeah, I read somewhere on the internet that dudes in Ireland totally used to suck each other's nipples."
I knew that someone somewhere must have written something academic about early Irish nipple sucking. I just had to find it. So I employed mad google-fu for like two hours this morning, searching all over JSTOR and google books with very disappointing results. Seriously, JSTOR? Not even ONE article? Way to fail! But THEN, thanks to a reference in an article on everything2.com, I discovered that there IS in fact at least ONE academic paper on nipple sucking that someone wrote for the 10th International Congress of Celtic Studies. UNFORTUNATELY, this article is not on the internet. Now, if I were still in California I would have had to give up in despair at this point. But the advantage of being in Ireland? The library of University College, Dublin ACTUALLY HAS the proceedings of the 10th International Congress of Celtic Studies.
And because it is a super obscure book, it was not checked out.
I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID, IRISH LIBRARIES ARE WONDERFUL.
I am now in possession of the very edifying article Sugere Mamellas: A Pagan Irish Custom and its Affinities, by Bernard Maier. It discusses nipple sucking not only in Ireland, but also in Ancient Egyptian, Arab, Berber, and Ethiopian culture.
Whether or not my tutor will appreciate this highly interesting cultural information is anyone's guess. I don't actually give a fuck. I'm still mad at her for talking crap about my bro Patrick.
How I rank things in Patrick's Confessio in terms of my interest in them:
Stuff about God > NIPPLE SUCKING > blah blah social/political climate of 5th century Ireland
Additionally, I'm going to be a total douche and quote everything in Latin. My tutor is a folklorist, so I'm pretty sure she doesn't know Latin, and if she has studied it, she probably isn't very good at it.