FUCK TORCHWOOD WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY
So I've heard more rumors on the internet about the godawful idea of moving Torchwood to America. A few months ago they were talking about some kind of season 4 set in the U.S. starring John Barrowman but none of the rest of the cast (i.e. no more Gwen). I didn't pay much attention because it was such an obviously bad plan that I was sure it wouldn't happen. Also, I refuse refuse REFUSE to watch Torchwood ever again. EVER. So why should I care what they do now? Well TODAY I heard a different rumor that actually the U.S. version will be a reboot and that they're going to make Jack straight.
I SHOULD NOT LET THIS UPSET ME, BUT OH MY GOD ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS??????? Even besides how fucking offensive that it, it is the stupidest marketing strategy I've ever heard. I mean, American Torchwood is a completely fucking retarded idea in the first place, but it could be made to work if it was done creatively by people who weren't idiots. BUT HETERO-WASHED AMERICAN TORCHWOOD???????? Do they not realize that the American fans of Torchwood only like it because it's A) set in Wales and B) all the characters are omnisexual/bisexual/bicurious/heteroflexible/whatever?????? Because it's NOT like every other show on American television? NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH STRAIGHT AMERICANS HUNTING ALIENS, THAT IS FUCKING BORING. We do not need another X-Files knock-off.
I hope Torchwood dies. I HOPE IT DIES. The only way the ending of Children of Earth can possibly be justified is if THERE IS NEVER ANOTHER EPISODE OF THAT FUCKING SHOW. I will not watch a British season 4. I will not watch an American season 4. I will not watch some shitty American reboot with a straight Jack Harkness.
However, I'm ashamed to admit that I WOULD watch a shitty American reboot if Jack and Ianto's GAY relationship was an important part of the show. I wouldn't care HOW bad it was, I would watch that shit EVERY WEEK. But of course this will NEVER HAPPEN, so the best I can hope for is that NOBODY EVER MAKES ANOTHER EPISODE OF TORCHWOOD EVER AGAIN.
BTW the source of this rumor was fandomsecrets, so I have no idea how true it is. However, the secret had a screenshot of the article it was taken from, so it seems to have come from a somewhat legit source. I don't know. I refuse to spend any time verifying unsubstantiated claims about the future of Torchwood, I've wasted too much of my life on this show already.
I SHOULD NOT LET THIS UPSET ME, BUT OH MY GOD ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS??????? Even besides how fucking offensive that it, it is the stupidest marketing strategy I've ever heard. I mean, American Torchwood is a completely fucking retarded idea in the first place, but it could be made to work if it was done creatively by people who weren't idiots. BUT HETERO-WASHED AMERICAN TORCHWOOD???????? Do they not realize that the American fans of Torchwood only like it because it's A) set in Wales and B) all the characters are omnisexual/bisexual/bicurious/heteroflexible/whatever?????? Because it's NOT like every other show on American television? NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH STRAIGHT AMERICANS HUNTING ALIENS, THAT IS FUCKING BORING. We do not need another X-Files knock-off.
I hope Torchwood dies. I HOPE IT DIES. The only way the ending of Children of Earth can possibly be justified is if THERE IS NEVER ANOTHER EPISODE OF THAT FUCKING SHOW. I will not watch a British season 4. I will not watch an American season 4. I will not watch some shitty American reboot with a straight Jack Harkness.
However, I'm ashamed to admit that I WOULD watch a shitty American reboot if Jack and Ianto's GAY relationship was an important part of the show. I wouldn't care HOW bad it was, I would watch that shit EVERY WEEK. But of course this will NEVER HAPPEN, so the best I can hope for is that NOBODY EVER MAKES ANOTHER EPISODE OF TORCHWOOD EVER AGAIN.
BTW the source of this rumor was fandomsecrets, so I have no idea how true it is. However, the secret had a screenshot of the article it was taken from, so it seems to have come from a somewhat legit source. I don't know. I refuse to spend any time verifying unsubstantiated claims about the future of Torchwood, I've wasted too much of my life on this show already.