God, I feel like I want to have a breakdown of some sort
I want to write several things down because i feel like I'm going to explaode if I won't let out some air. I'm tired. God, I'm really tired with my current schedule. 6-9 (or 5-9 for Tuesdays) class then a 12-9 work schedule. I would come home at around 10:30-11:00 am if I'm lucky (meaning there are no hellish lines at the bus stop *not to mention heavy traffic*, MRT, and LRT), and help me God, if not. My sleeping hours range from effin 1-3 hours, and I'm usually happy if it will indeed be 3 hours. Then repeat the cycle all over again.
I have classes almost the whole week, and I simply cannot fit in reviewing during Sundays. At work, I often fall asleep right at my station without meaning to. As in I just fall asleep like that.
It's hard, seriously, to cope up with a schedule like that and try to live like a normal human being. I'm afraid it's having an effect at my health as well (screwed up as it is already, ha ha ha).
I know that the solution would be to let go of either one of these things, but I wish it was simple as that. I now understand my high school friend when she told me before that the reason she was reluctant to leave her company was because she can't find a new one that would pay the same rate as she has now. Hell, now I understand her and I'm in the same position. Yes, I don't really love this place right now but what they are giving me is not really easy to find. And there's no way in hell that I will be giving up school. it's funny that even though I'm seriously considering withdrawing from school, I am busy looking for other universities where I can transfer.
But right now eveything is just so messy and I feel suffocated by the schedule, the profs, and trying to fit in a little bit of normalcy in my f*cked up life.
I guess I'm just not really used to this kind of situations. I feel like I've been "sheltered" since I was young. I had been in private schools since preparatory to college (meaning everything's easy peasy, from registration to enrollment, to schedules). I only got to do the whole enrollment process late high school and like starting second year college. Transpo was easy, early in elementary I had someone escort and pick me up to and from school. I just walk to and from school in high school, and just use one train in college. During high school I get to go home during lunch or eat at the canteen. And college, we just have to go to the cafeteria as well. So basically, I was living a damn easy life then. Even at my first job, I remember ranting that we should assign people to wash dishes because obviously no one will do it otherwise, and even though everyone was against it, Captain agreed with me. And whenever we have a night out, the senpais always see to their kouhai first. So basically, all this mess is new to me. I know I have to learn stuff, but sometimes I wish life won't throw so many large lemons at me at the speed of those tennis ball dispenser thingies at full speed.
I'm hoping I can find a way through this mess... :(
I have classes almost the whole week, and I simply cannot fit in reviewing during Sundays. At work, I often fall asleep right at my station without meaning to. As in I just fall asleep like that.
It's hard, seriously, to cope up with a schedule like that and try to live like a normal human being. I'm afraid it's having an effect at my health as well (screwed up as it is already, ha ha ha).
I know that the solution would be to let go of either one of these things, but I wish it was simple as that. I now understand my high school friend when she told me before that the reason she was reluctant to leave her company was because she can't find a new one that would pay the same rate as she has now. Hell, now I understand her and I'm in the same position. Yes, I don't really love this place right now but what they are giving me is not really easy to find. And there's no way in hell that I will be giving up school. it's funny that even though I'm seriously considering withdrawing from school, I am busy looking for other universities where I can transfer.
But right now eveything is just so messy and I feel suffocated by the schedule, the profs, and trying to fit in a little bit of normalcy in my f*cked up life.
I guess I'm just not really used to this kind of situations. I feel like I've been "sheltered" since I was young. I had been in private schools since preparatory to college (meaning everything's easy peasy, from registration to enrollment, to schedules). I only got to do the whole enrollment process late high school and like starting second year college. Transpo was easy, early in elementary I had someone escort and pick me up to and from school. I just walk to and from school in high school, and just use one train in college. During high school I get to go home during lunch or eat at the canteen. And college, we just have to go to the cafeteria as well. So basically, I was living a damn easy life then. Even at my first job, I remember ranting that we should assign people to wash dishes because obviously no one will do it otherwise, and even though everyone was against it, Captain agreed with me. And whenever we have a night out, the senpais always see to their kouhai first. So basically, all this mess is new to me. I know I have to learn stuff, but sometimes I wish life won't throw so many large lemons at me at the speed of those tennis ball dispenser thingies at full speed.
I'm hoping I can find a way through this mess... :(