NEW APARTMENT
J.'s been gone for a long weekend. His 2 brothers and Father are in Phoenix and he drove on out there to see them. It's been strange being in our apartment alone. On the one hand, I think it's really good for us to physically separate right now so as to fully feel the effects of what happened. On the other hand...it was just weird. Thursday night was the first night that I didn't sleep with him in god knows how long. It was so completely foreign that I actually had a really hard time falling asleep. I tossed and turned for 2 and a half hours - and this is after I crawled into bed because I fell asleep on the couch.
To say that I miss him doesn't even come close to describing the feeling I have. I am so overwhelmed with positivity in terms of what this break-up will do to both our personal lives. The giant steps forward both he and I will take. And yet...I am still mourning what I thought to be "it".
Regardless - things are so good between J. and I. It's hilarious - the way I've explained it to people is exactly as it is - we're still the same, just not a couple.
I found an apartment. I'm equally scared and excited about it. Steps forward into uncertainty are not new to me, but that doesn't mean they get any easier. I think one of the most positive things from this break-up is the proof that J. and I really love each other and are in fact good people. I've had break-ups in the past that have unravelled into materialistic battles. It's all about what's mine and what's yours. My uncle is going through a divorce right now and that's exactly what's happening with him. And, it's sad to see what petty greed can do to some people. I'm hurt, so gimme all my stuff!! This life is too short and too amazing to be concerned with material goods. We all have too much crap! Just get rid of it all and live with the bare essentials (industrial-strength hair dryers included).
Anyway...I'm glad to say there is none of that with J. and I. I have had the misfortune of bearing witness to people's true colors after a break-up and how lovely it is to know that his true colors have always been in bloom.
I'll miss so much from the romantic aspect of our relationship but I'll love every minute of our platonic relationship.
So..new apartment - it's a studio in Hancock Park. On the 5th floor with an incredible view of the country club grounds. It also has an oven which means I can still bake! I'm very excited to move in.
However, this past weekend I got to really really bond with Nelson (our kitty) and I'm sad to know I won't feel him purring next to me in the mornings or have the pleasure of having him lay over my arm as I work on the computer.
*sigh* All things must pass away...indeed.
...
To say that I miss him doesn't even come close to describing the feeling I have. I am so overwhelmed with positivity in terms of what this break-up will do to both our personal lives. The giant steps forward both he and I will take. And yet...I am still mourning what I thought to be "it".
Regardless - things are so good between J. and I. It's hilarious - the way I've explained it to people is exactly as it is - we're still the same, just not a couple.
I found an apartment. I'm equally scared and excited about it. Steps forward into uncertainty are not new to me, but that doesn't mean they get any easier. I think one of the most positive things from this break-up is the proof that J. and I really love each other and are in fact good people. I've had break-ups in the past that have unravelled into materialistic battles. It's all about what's mine and what's yours. My uncle is going through a divorce right now and that's exactly what's happening with him. And, it's sad to see what petty greed can do to some people. I'm hurt, so gimme all my stuff!! This life is too short and too amazing to be concerned with material goods. We all have too much crap! Just get rid of it all and live with the bare essentials (industrial-strength hair dryers included).
Anyway...I'm glad to say there is none of that with J. and I. I have had the misfortune of bearing witness to people's true colors after a break-up and how lovely it is to know that his true colors have always been in bloom.
I'll miss so much from the romantic aspect of our relationship but I'll love every minute of our platonic relationship.
So..new apartment - it's a studio in Hancock Park. On the 5th floor with an incredible view of the country club grounds. It also has an oven which means I can still bake! I'm very excited to move in.
However, this past weekend I got to really really bond with Nelson (our kitty) and I'm sad to know I won't feel him purring next to me in the mornings or have the pleasure of having him lay over my arm as I work on the computer.
*sigh* All things must pass away...indeed.
...