BITTERSWEET
I had a bit of a rough morning. It was just so strange waking up this morning knowing that a few mornings ago, our last wake-up cuddle had been our last. And as corny as that may sound, I don't give a crap. It's true.
I've never said this before..but now I know why others have...
If I had known our last kiss would be our last...
Our last embrace...
Our last...everything
Good god. I mean, at the very least I can say that our last few days as a couple were filled with so much love for each other. The affection was sky high. We both knew the end was near, but that didn't hinder our feelings in the slightest. When I sat across from him on our bed that night, it was love that made me tell him that even if we didn't make it as a couple, I would always be there for him. And it was so sad... we both tried so hard but why try to force it?
And he told me to never say I was unloveable. And as much as I want to dispute him...he did make me believe again. I always meant what I said... he found me. He proved me wrong.
I cried in the shower. It's so bittersweet. I know that this is all for the better which is why I'm so okay with this, but it still is the ending of a relationship that I had so much faith in. It sucks to know that he just wasn't ready for me. But how can I be sad when I know he's still an integral part of my life?
It's even harder to be sad when I know how amazing this step forward will be for him. And I mean that whole-heartedly. This journey that he is on is so beautiful and made even more so by his support system - of which I look forward to being a strong member of.
We were listening to Glenn Gould last night. We stuttered as we talked. I always loved the fact that 2 stuttering pianists from opposite coasts were able to find each other. And as wonderful as it is to know that we'll always be in each other's lives, it kills me to know that we couldn't make it work as a couple. And here come the tears again... FUCK!!!!
How can I hurt when there's so much positivity and goodness coming out of this? How can I be so selfish and feel this way?
He broke my heart, but it was so gently and delicately. Never has anyone taken such care of my feelings. It's usually sink or swim. But he held me and as much as it hurt...it was still okay.
These tears in my eyes are different tears. They are tears I've never known before. These tears are mourning the end of a relationship and celebrating the growth of another one.
I always knew there was something special about our connection and that we'd be in each other's lives forever. I had just hoped it would also be a romantic bond.
He introduced me to New York. He shared a love for classical music. He reintroduced me to my roots as a musician. He gave me hope and love. And I know I'll always love him.
...
I've never said this before..but now I know why others have...
If I had known our last kiss would be our last...
Our last embrace...
Our last...everything
Good god. I mean, at the very least I can say that our last few days as a couple were filled with so much love for each other. The affection was sky high. We both knew the end was near, but that didn't hinder our feelings in the slightest. When I sat across from him on our bed that night, it was love that made me tell him that even if we didn't make it as a couple, I would always be there for him. And it was so sad... we both tried so hard but why try to force it?
And he told me to never say I was unloveable. And as much as I want to dispute him...he did make me believe again. I always meant what I said... he found me. He proved me wrong.
I cried in the shower. It's so bittersweet. I know that this is all for the better which is why I'm so okay with this, but it still is the ending of a relationship that I had so much faith in. It sucks to know that he just wasn't ready for me. But how can I be sad when I know he's still an integral part of my life?
It's even harder to be sad when I know how amazing this step forward will be for him. And I mean that whole-heartedly. This journey that he is on is so beautiful and made even more so by his support system - of which I look forward to being a strong member of.
We were listening to Glenn Gould last night. We stuttered as we talked. I always loved the fact that 2 stuttering pianists from opposite coasts were able to find each other. And as wonderful as it is to know that we'll always be in each other's lives, it kills me to know that we couldn't make it work as a couple. And here come the tears again... FUCK!!!!
How can I hurt when there's so much positivity and goodness coming out of this? How can I be so selfish and feel this way?
He broke my heart, but it was so gently and delicately. Never has anyone taken such care of my feelings. It's usually sink or swim. But he held me and as much as it hurt...it was still okay.
These tears in my eyes are different tears. They are tears I've never known before. These tears are mourning the end of a relationship and celebrating the growth of another one.
I always knew there was something special about our connection and that we'd be in each other's lives forever. I had just hoped it would also be a romantic bond.
He introduced me to New York. He shared a love for classical music. He reintroduced me to my roots as a musician. He gave me hope and love. And I know I'll always love him.
...