Loss of Confidence

[cecilymarie]

Here, in the seclusion of Silsbee TX, I have had much time to think about an abundance of things. There is so much that I wish to post, but wish to do so all at once. I haven't had the amount of time needed or privacy to do so, though I hope to early Saturday evening. I am not sure I have ever felt as unsure or alone as I have been feeling recently. It's ironic. I've been ready and waiting for this point the entirety of my life, and now that it's here, I'm not reacting the way I had thought I would. I've been grown up, in most aspects, for a good portion of my childhood, and now that it's over, my childhood is all that I long for. I thought graduation would end this ongoing limbo... Most of the time I can't stand it, but there are times when comfort is found in the ability to be an adult and child simultaneously.

What am I without my confidence?