God damnit...
Well, what little faith I had left has been meticulously ripped out of my chest. Whatever happens will happen, and was always meant to happen. In which case, I will do what I will do and if you get mad its your fault because you should know that I do things simply because they are in my nature. Of course, it's in you're nature to get angry at certain things, but it's also in mine. So... why are we together? Why are we so inclined to stay with each other? There must be some scientific explanation for it, because I can't rationalize it in my head. It really isn't that you make me unhappy, it's that I make myself unhappy; I suppose it's just in my being to be depressed. So, knowing that, how can I logically be happy with anyone? I can't... however, knowing that I wouldn't be any happier with anyone else, why would I give you up? It just wouldn't make sense... and so we are safe again.
I keep coming back to the fact that we can affect other peoples lives by interacting. Is every little thing connected and sequenced? Is there always a reason why when our mouths say something the brain wasn't thinking? If I had a record of every single moment of my life, could I go back and pin point the significant instant when the crux of a future event was decided? Maybe... Okay, Katie, I've finished letting go of free will. Whats next? You should be very careful with who you discuss those theories with. Weak people tend to take the news badly. It tends to put you into a spiral of depression. If I weren't already depressed I probably would've killed myself. As it is, I am a soulless hunk of meat wallowing on this diseased rock called Earth. But I'm still having fun... bitch.
I keep coming back to the fact that we can affect other peoples lives by interacting. Is every little thing connected and sequenced? Is there always a reason why when our mouths say something the brain wasn't thinking? If I had a record of every single moment of my life, could I go back and pin point the significant instant when the crux of a future event was decided? Maybe... Okay, Katie, I've finished letting go of free will. Whats next? You should be very careful with who you discuss those theories with. Weak people tend to take the news badly. It tends to put you into a spiral of depression. If I weren't already depressed I probably would've killed myself. As it is, I am a soulless hunk of meat wallowing on this diseased rock called Earth. But I'm still having fun... bitch.