Exerpts from Detective Kim Jongdae's Diary
Exerpts from Detective Kim Jongdae's Diary
Chenbaek / Chansoo
Summary
The story of Det. Kim Jongdae and his little friends. (They are all really weird.)
Excerpts from Det. Kim Jongdae’s Diary
[Jongdae (Chen) x Baekhyun]
Dear diary,
I am partnered up with Baekhyun again. It’s not that I am complaining, because out of everyone in the division he is the one detective that truly understands me (we’ve shared unforgettable karaoke moments before as aforementioned in a previous entry), but I sometimes wonder why Captain Suho tortures himself this way. Sure Baekhyun and I are great partners for solving crimes, but we are also the perfect partners in crime. We haven’t thought of what prank we shall celebrate with this time after we solve the case, but we will think of something soon.
Chanyeol is getting on my nerves recently, ever since he hooked up with that stoic man from case archive. What was his name again… oh yes, Doh Kyungsoo. It was cute to see Chanyeol in a puppy-in-love-state, but only for so long. It does get annoying because everything he talks about is either about or somehow related to Kyungsoo. I may decide to salt his coffee tomorrow.
Oh, I should also remember to tell Captain Suho his blue and black tie was an abomination. Can your superior fire you for calling them out on their horrible fashion sense? Maybe it’s safer if I get Jongin to tell him that instead. The Captain always has a soft spot for the newbies.
Baekhyun discovered that I keep a diary and he laughed at me. I resent him a little for doing that. Son of a bitch has no heart.
Yours truly,
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
Captain Suho is experimenting with fashion I believe, but possibly for the worse. His ties have gone from confusing to gaudy and it was really difficult not to call him out on it. Perhaps Kris would be a better persuader than Jongin. Damn newbie, and I had so much faith in you too.
Nothing too exciting today. On our way to meet with one of the suspects, we ran straight into a bank robbery. Not to brag, but we handled it like police pros. Well, we are the pros since we are detective police and…. Anyway, Baekhyun’s a great partner to have. I really did miss our time together.
Huh, that’s intriguing. My heart feels a brief flutter when I think of him. Perhaps Sehun’s teasing is not without basis. Am I developing a crush on Baekhyun?
Well goddamn.
He’s such a pain in the ass to handle…
But I suppose he is cute… especially that butt…
I have horrible taste in men.
Yours truly,
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
I poured hot coffee on Chanyeol’s crotch by accident today because I got distracted by Baekhyun who bent down right in front of me to pick up something. You have not seen, but he has a hot ass.
Kyungsoo is terribly mad at me and for a little guy, he sure can get scary.
I hope Chanyeol will be okay.
Meh, I am sure he will be.
Baekhyun totally noticed my screw up, but he had this little knowing smirk hanging by his lips as he walked away towards Sehun’s desk. I believe Sehun may be behind this and my feelings may be at risk of being exposed (or possibly it is already exposed). I should do something about it soon.
I should also stop talking to Sehun. I see now how he is the top interrogator in this division.
Oh, and Captain Suho’s tie was just bat-shit crazy today. Kris is also a bad influence.
Sigh, I need to get laid.
Yours Truly,
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
Why were alcohols invented??
It’s a stupid substance. It makes you say stupid things when you over consume it. It’s also stupid because it makes you throw up on your Captain.
I don’t remember a lot of last night, but Captain Suho’s angry face is kind of hard to forget.
I think I also remember Chanyeol laughing way too hard. I shall salt his coffee again.
The worst part is I think I blurted out to Baekhyun that I like him, more than a friend, and I may, just may, (honestly hope to God I did not, but probably did so considering how drunk I was), have told him I’d really like to fuck him. And that he has a nice butt.
Fuck.
Sehun’s smug little face was especially annoying today and no, it was not just because of my hangover.
Thank god Baekhyun was not in the office today because he had to meet with the person the intelligence centre is sending over to assist with our case.
I wouldn’t know how to face him.
URRRGGGGGGGGGGG.
Yours truly,
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
I believe our case will soon be solved. If our plan of ambush does not go wrong tomorrow, I can safely say we’ve got this in the bag. I have to say the man the intelligence centre sent over is a peculiar one (he’d fit in very well with our division and that’s saying a lot) (and yes, we are a bunch of weirdos, I’ve come to accept that).
First of all, his name is strange: Lay. That’s a brand of potato chips. Do people over at the intelligence centre code name themselves by food brand now? Where’s Dorito or Betty Crocker? I'd like to meet them too.
Also, he barely talks and when he does, he sounds high. That’s right, high, like high on mary jane high. Actually he just looks high all the time. Baekhyun and I are betting if he is on medicinal marijuana, but I think that’s just how he is though. It’s not the poor man’s fault if he was born with hooded eyes and a chilled disposition. But Baekhyun thinks otherwise.
Speaking of Baekhyun, things got a little, well, let’s just say I will never forget this afternoon. Ever since I’ve come to term with my feelings two weeks ago, I tried not to make things weird on my part. The keyword here is tried (previous debacles include the hanger incident, the coffee incident and the Captain incident). Sure, I may have appeared like a fool, sometimes, but I'd like to think most of the time I was pretty composed and in control. Until when he told me that he may also have romantic feelings for me today. I don’t know why, but I think I reacted in the worst way possible.
See under normal circumstances, when someone you like returns your feeling and also confesses to you, you’d be happy and give them a hug, or kiss, or something nice. But no, my brain decided to react in a different way. I shoved my half eaten doughnut in his mouth.
I think I wanted him to shut up because I was not prepared to hear his feelings, not right before the big case wraps up.
It’s rather corny, don’t you think? Confess your undying love (just let me dream, okay?) then go out and possibly die on the mission? Oh god, I think I have just jinxed him.
Please don’t die, Baekhyun, and I am sorry for shoving that piece of doughnut in your mouth. I like you and I’m so glad you like me too, but I’d rather you have told me that after the mission tomorrow.
I hope he understands my logic...
Urg, I really hope I didn’t just fuck this up for myself today.
I guess I should give him a call.
Yours truly,
Jongdae
So, I called and explained. We’re cool.
We are going on a date after the mission.
I can’t wait.
I’m going to get laaaaaaaiiiiiiiiid.
...
Urg, I despise how much Chanyeol, Sehun and Baekhyun have influenced me.
Yours truly (again),
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
The mission was complete but there was a hitch.
Baekhyun was shot and he died… I did jinx him…
Nah, I’m just messing with you. Well, he was shot, but he didn’t die. He can’t walk around freely for the next month or so because of the gun wound on his leg, but other than that, he is a-okay and we’ve solved the case!
Now our date.
We will probably have to stay home since it’d be inconvenient for him to go out. But I think I actually prefer that more. We’d get a movie going, get some cuddling time, which then may lead to some sexy time… who knows? I know it’ll be great no matter what.
Mmm Baekhyun’s ass…
Wow, I REALLY need to get laid.
DAMN SON, GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER!
Yours truly,
Jongdae
---
Dear diary,
Gotten laid.
Also, Baekhyun and I decided to celebrate the end of our case by gift wrapping everything on Chanyeol’s desk. Captain Suho was not happy, but he did look impressed at how everything was individually wrapped. His tie is still unspeakable.
Chanyeol took it all in good humour, but I am wondering if Kyungsoo is thinking of taking revenge on behalf of his boyfriend. That quiet little fellow looks kind of evil sometimes and it unsettles me a little…
Oh well. Another date with Baekhyun tonight!
So, until tomorrow.
Yours truly,
Jongdae