(no subject)
So today sucked butt. I went from 9 to 10...like usual Tuesdays. Except today for the 2 one hour breaks I had I had to eat lunch fast then work on my paper. Come back from class, and finish my paper. Then class again, dinner, Salt, then a take home test. NOT very fun! Let me tell you that much! I managed to get through the day though.
Can I just say I love my mother! :) She found a jean jacket for me and mailed it. It got here today so of course I found some time to pick it up from Barto. It cracked me up though cause she sent it in the tiniest shoe box possible! It was a shoe box that a pair of heels or sandals came in. So of course I'm expecting a BOX for the jean jacket and see that. I open it up and Ms. Gini just laughs, and so do I, cause we can't believe my mother fit the jacket in that small of a box! But I love my mother for sending me that and thinking of me.
I talked to my sister the other day on the phone about a lot of stuff. She gave me her honest advice even if it wasn't what others tell me or what I thought was best. But she had some good points and I think I'm going to take her advice. I also just let loose everything that I have been struggling with and feeling this quarter and past few months. Lately I have just wanted to get through this quarter and get out of here. I love all of you guys and the rest of my friends, don't get me wrong. But at times being here is tearing me apart. I find that I'm not happy. And what I'm not happy with can't be sifted out. I'm not sure why I'm not happy, I just know that something needs to change in my life. I don't know. I'm so excited about her having twins and she REALLY wants me to come out next summer to nanny for her. I wouldn't make a lot of money, but it will be right before I get a teaching job (hopefully!) so I could probably afford to go that summer. And it would be a great time to build a personal relationship with my new niece(s)/nephew(s) since I won't get to see them often (maybe twice a year). I miss my sister A LOT sometimes! Steph and I get along great and she is probably the one person that can come in and wake me up in the morning, in some of the most annoying ways possible, and I don't bite her head off. Of course I'm not the HAPPIEST camper cause I hate getting woken up, but for some reason I don't become a witch with her. My dad has even said that he loves to see the two of us together because we have this indescribable relationship. There's some connection between us that no one can quite describe. Even though she's 13 years older than me, she's the one person I can give my RAW feelings too. She would be the one that my parents would have to have talk to me every time I found out that I had to have one of the countless surgeries while growing up. She was the only one I would really cry to and tell how angry I was about the idea of surgery... AGAIN... or anything in general. I love all my sisters, but there is something with Stephanie that tugs at me more than Laura or Deanna. Maybe that's why when Steph kept on trying time and time again to get pregnant and couldn't, my heart just ached for her. In a way I could FEEL how she felt and it hurt. I thank God every day for her, and the rest of my family.
Salt was good tonight too. Ken's message was really good. Here a few of the points I got from tonight:
-Compromise always results in loss.
-The true test of character is how you act when no one is around.
Jordan had a program at 9 so I told Nicole to take my car and take him back and come pick me up. It was so nice to just be in the row for the end of worship by myself. I just lifted my hands up to God, trying to get even closer to him, and thanked him for everything in my life. I know there are a lot of things I need to work on. I have been on a roller coaster all through college with God. Just when I thought I had them in check at the end of the summer, I stumbled again, but afterwards I think I'm stronger now than when I came to college. I still struggle, but I searching more than ever to come to some peace in my life and get past the mistakes I've made. I know that God has forgiven me, now I need to forgive myself. I'm just glad that I have Christian friends I can surround myself with to help me on my path. I've come a long way this year, but I still have a journey ahead of me.
Well, I'm going to enjoy my sleep and the fact that I can finally get 8 hrs of sleep tonight. It's much needed! Peace! ;)
Can I just say I love my mother! :) She found a jean jacket for me and mailed it. It got here today so of course I found some time to pick it up from Barto. It cracked me up though cause she sent it in the tiniest shoe box possible! It was a shoe box that a pair of heels or sandals came in. So of course I'm expecting a BOX for the jean jacket and see that. I open it up and Ms. Gini just laughs, and so do I, cause we can't believe my mother fit the jacket in that small of a box! But I love my mother for sending me that and thinking of me.
I talked to my sister the other day on the phone about a lot of stuff. She gave me her honest advice even if it wasn't what others tell me or what I thought was best. But she had some good points and I think I'm going to take her advice. I also just let loose everything that I have been struggling with and feeling this quarter and past few months. Lately I have just wanted to get through this quarter and get out of here. I love all of you guys and the rest of my friends, don't get me wrong. But at times being here is tearing me apart. I find that I'm not happy. And what I'm not happy with can't be sifted out. I'm not sure why I'm not happy, I just know that something needs to change in my life. I don't know. I'm so excited about her having twins and she REALLY wants me to come out next summer to nanny for her. I wouldn't make a lot of money, but it will be right before I get a teaching job (hopefully!) so I could probably afford to go that summer. And it would be a great time to build a personal relationship with my new niece(s)/nephew(s) since I won't get to see them often (maybe twice a year). I miss my sister A LOT sometimes! Steph and I get along great and she is probably the one person that can come in and wake me up in the morning, in some of the most annoying ways possible, and I don't bite her head off. Of course I'm not the HAPPIEST camper cause I hate getting woken up, but for some reason I don't become a witch with her. My dad has even said that he loves to see the two of us together because we have this indescribable relationship. There's some connection between us that no one can quite describe. Even though she's 13 years older than me, she's the one person I can give my RAW feelings too. She would be the one that my parents would have to have talk to me every time I found out that I had to have one of the countless surgeries while growing up. She was the only one I would really cry to and tell how angry I was about the idea of surgery... AGAIN... or anything in general. I love all my sisters, but there is something with Stephanie that tugs at me more than Laura or Deanna. Maybe that's why when Steph kept on trying time and time again to get pregnant and couldn't, my heart just ached for her. In a way I could FEEL how she felt and it hurt. I thank God every day for her, and the rest of my family.
Salt was good tonight too. Ken's message was really good. Here a few of the points I got from tonight:
-Compromise always results in loss.
-The true test of character is how you act when no one is around.
Jordan had a program at 9 so I told Nicole to take my car and take him back and come pick me up. It was so nice to just be in the row for the end of worship by myself. I just lifted my hands up to God, trying to get even closer to him, and thanked him for everything in my life. I know there are a lot of things I need to work on. I have been on a roller coaster all through college with God. Just when I thought I had them in check at the end of the summer, I stumbled again, but afterwards I think I'm stronger now than when I came to college. I still struggle, but I searching more than ever to come to some peace in my life and get past the mistakes I've made. I know that God has forgiven me, now I need to forgive myself. I'm just glad that I have Christian friends I can surround myself with to help me on my path. I've come a long way this year, but I still have a journey ahead of me.
Well, I'm going to enjoy my sleep and the fact that I can finally get 8 hrs of sleep tonight. It's much needed! Peace! ;)